God, I miss Jack!
There ought to be a “Captain” in there somewhere.
Now, in this class you can either call me Mr. Keating, or if you’re slightly more daring, “O Captain, my Captain!”
I think I’m attracted to teachers. Yeah, I took out an English teacher. That didn’t work out at all. I sent her a love letter… She corrected it!
I wanna lie back on the grass and have you teach me some more about gardening.
He died. He died in a bizarre gardening accident, some years back. It was really one of those things, it was…the authorities said, you know, best leave it unsolved.
It’s a Zen thing, like how many babies fit in a tire.
You give that baby back, you warthog from Hell!
I’ll explain and I’ll use small words so that you’ll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon.
Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I’d like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where’s the Tylenol?
Some folks call it a Sling Blade, I call it a Kaiser Blade. It’s kindly a wood handle, kind of like an axe handle. With a long blade on it shaped kinda like a bananer. Mhm. Sharp on one edge, and dull on the other. Mhm. It’s what the highway boys use to cut down weeds and whatnot. Well, I went in there, in the house, and I hit Jesse Dixon upside the head with it, knocked him off my mother, mhm. I reckon that didn’t quite satisfy me. So I hit him again with it in the neck, the sharp edge, and just plumb near cut his head off, killed him. My mother she jumped up and started hollerin’ “What’d you kill Jesse fur? What’d you kill Jesse fur?” Well… come to find out I don’t think my mother minded what Jesse was a-doin’ to her. I reckon that made me madder that what Jesse’d made me. So I take the Kaiser Blade, some folks call it a Sling Blade, I call it a Kaiser Blade, and I hit my mother upside the head with it. Killed her.
If you shoot someone in the head with a .45 every time you kill somebody, it becomes like your fingerprint, see? But if you strangle one, stab another, and one you cut up, and one you don’t, then the police don’t know what to do. They think you’re four different people. What they really want, what makes their job so much easier, is pattern. What they call a modus operandi. That’s Latin. Bet you didn’t know any Latin, did you kid?
No, it’s not that, Adso. It’s because they often contain a wisdom that is different from ours and ideas that could encourage us to doubt the infallability of the word of God… And doubt, Adso, is the enemy of faith.
People love it because it makes them feel like they’re in control of their destiny. What you wanna be on the look-out for is transcendent reality; seeing in and seeing out.
Don’t mock me, my friend. It’s a condition of mental divergence. I find myself on the planet Ogo, part of an intellectual elite, preparing to subjugate the barbarian hordes on Pluto. But even though this is a totally convincing reality for me in every way, nevertheless, Ogo is actually a construct of my psyche. I am mentally divergent, in that I am escaping certain unnamed realities that plague my life here. When I stop going there, I will be well. Are you also divergent, friend?
I’m not only the president of The Hair Club for Men; I’m also a member.
You must be a very important executive.
I ain’t so tough [thud].
Well, the way I figure it, we can either fight or give. If we give, we go to jail.
“There was one person you were really cheap with. Over and over again. I wish you’d been more generous with him.” “Who?” “You.”