No, I don’t believe this. No, no. The blind lawyer from Hell’s Kitchen?
When me and my mom went into court to get our divorce our lawyer SUCKED as usual, so I went up there and told the judge myself about all the beatin’s, about how he made us sleep in the street. And that’s when my father became my ex-father – and now I got you, and you’re a drunk and a bad lawyer too!
You’re no bargain either, pal! You are a spoiled, rotten little brat and I’ll tell you right now…
Thanks for the advice.
All he asked me to do was drive you out of town. Now I’m gonna screw that up, too.
You should have let me keep my old LaSalle. It never would’ve behaved this way and you know it.
Hi! My name is Brad Majors, and this is my fiancee, Janet Weiss. I wonder if you’d mind helping us. You see, our car broke down a few miles up the road. Do you have a phone we might use?
There’s no way that these tire marks were made by a 1964 Buick Skylark convertible. These marks were made by a 1963 Pontiac Tempest.
No kidding? You can tell, huh? Oh, really tell. You must be physic.
Another man has been holding these panties. You know I can tell.
When did you learn the significance of those panties?
Relax, would you? We have seventy dollars and a pair of girls underpants. We’re safe as kittens.
Can I borrow your underpants for 10 minutes?
Well, if you must know, it was because he was very jealous, and I had these days of the week underpants. They had the days of the week on them, and I thought they were sort of funny. And then one day Sheldon says to me, “You never wear Sunday!” It was all suspicious – where was Sunday? Where had I left Sunday? And I told him, and he didn’t believe me: They don’t make Sunday because of God.
Okay, what is it? How old are you, Murphy?
It’s not the years, honey; it’s the mileage.
A lot of people enjoy being dead. But they are not dead, really. They’re just backing away from life. Reach out. Take a chance. Get hurt even. But play as well as you can. Go team, go! Give me an L. Give me an I. Give me a V. Give me an E. L-I-V-E. LIVE! Otherwise, you got nothing to talk about in the locker room.
“Have you seen this prick? Report immediately to Beulah Balbricker. Do not attempt to apprehend this prick, as it is armed and dangerous. It was last seen hanging out in the girls’ locker room at Angel Beach High School.”
Yes, it’s true. This man has no dick.
mostly because he was born with only one ball.