Now that you brought that up, hang onto your paddle. And if you hit any rocks, don’t hit 'em with your head.
Ladies and gentlemen, I can envision a day when the brains of brilliant men can be kept alive in the bodies of dumb people.
Oh, right! To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people! I’ve known sheep that could outwit you. I’ve worn dresses with higher IQs. But you think you’re an intellectual, don’t you, ape? Now, let me correct you on a couple of things, okay? Aristotle was not Belgian. The central message of Buddhism is not “Every man for himself.” And the London Underground is not a political movement. Those are all mistakes, Otto. I looked them up.
Big mistake. Big. Huge.
Vanessa, do these pants make my butt look big?
Why would I say that? Your hindquarters are hideously scrawny!
'Cause she’s got a GREAT ASS, and you got your head all the way up it! Ferocious, aren’t I? When I think of asses, a woman’s ass, something comes out of me.
Ya see a pair of laughing eyes,
And suddenly you’re sighing sighs.
You’re thinkin’ nothin’s wrong,
You string along, boy, then SNAP!
Those eyes, those sighs -
They’re part of the tender trap.
You see, my mule don’t like people laughing.
I miss my donkey.
Dave? What the fuck are you doing? Why are you dressed as Kick-Ass?
Dave … Dave … I’m frightened …
My chin’s hanging out right next to yours. I’d worry a lot less if I thought you were worrying enough.
Stop playin’ with yourself, Hooper!
Would you like to play a game?
I thought I could end the game myself. I was only ten spaces away.
Help me out here, Reggie. How far is it to that body?
Congratulations, Reg. It’s a… squid.
“Say squid.”
“Say dead.”
Lawzy, we got to have a doctor. I don’t know nothin’ ‘bout birthin’ babies.