But first … The Aristocrats!
It’s a sex thing. It helps fellatio.
We have a six hour drive tomorrow, Jennifer.
That day, for no particular reason, I decided to go for a little run. So I ran to the end of the road. And when I got there, I thought maybe I’d run to the end of town. And when I got there, I thought maybe I’d just run across Greenbow County. And I figured, since I run this far, maybe I’d just run across the great state of Alabama. And that’s what I did. I ran clear across Alabama. For no particular reason I just kept on going. I ran clear to the ocean. And when I got there, I figured since I’d gone this far, I might as well turn around, just keep on going. When I got to another ocean, I figured since I’d gone this far, I might as well just turn back, keep right on going. When I got tired, I slept. When I got hungry, I ate. When I had to go… you know… I went.
I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure.
This isn’t just any race. This is the Santa Anita. I had that race. I was there.
You will not defeat me. I am born of a great tribe, People of the Horse.
I’m over here, you big horse’s ass. Come and get me before I call the police!
It’s official, Captain Lassard. This is now the worst precinct in the entire city! Burglary up 25%, armed robbery up 30%, vandalism up 44%.
We’re all just cavemen, Trying to protect our little patch of land. Well now I’ve got a club, and I’m gonna take what I need.
There are not many men yet. Just a few tribes scattered across the wilderness. Never venturing far, unaware that other tribes exist even. Too busy with their own lives to be curious. Too frightened of the unknown to wander. Their laws are simple: the strong take everything. This is Akhoba, leader of the Rock Tribe…
I am the scales of justice, conductor of the choir of death!
Sing! Sing! Sing for me!!!
A falsetto child?
Why don’t you try squeezing something the size of a watermelon out of an opening the size of a lemon and see how hot YOU look?
Fuck you. I’m beautiful!
You look like Freddy Krueger face-fucked a topographical map of Utah.
What’s the matter, never seen anyone from the planet Vulcan before?
Oh, just great! Perfect! John Glenn goes around the world, he’s a senator for life. I went across the fricking universe! I should be governor, minimum! But, no, I’m marooned here on this stupid rock!
Don’t worry Wilson, I’ll do all the paddling. You just hang on.