Loretta, I love you. Not like they told you love is, and I didn’t know this either, but love don’t make things nice - it ruins everything. It breaks your heart. It makes things a mess. We aren’t here to make things perfect. The snowflakes are perfect. The stars are perfect. Not us. Not us! We are here to ruin ourselves and to break our hearts and love the wrong people and die! The storybooks are bullshit! Now, I want you to come upstairs with me and get in my bed!
Can I come to your room sometime for a chat? I could give you a blowjob. Or you could just fuck me. I always swallow after fellatio and I’ve got absolutely no problem with anal sex if that’s your thing. My ex-husband always used to say I had the most beautiful thighs he’d ever seen, but let’s not talk about him.
I think next week I’ll be able to send more money as I may have extra work. My friend Patty has promised me a blow job. Your loving son, Navin.
You don’t know nothin’.
Sir, in my heart, I know I’m funny.
You ever been broke, Sir? Real broke?
You know, it occurs to me that the best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people.
Poor drunks do not find love, Arthur. Poor drunks have very few teeth, they urinate outdoors, they freeze to death in summer. I can’t bear to think of you that way.
You should take better care of your teeth. You have a cavity here.
Is it safe?
It’s like Gandalf is staring right at me. “No penis shall pass!”
Dad, why don’t join me on a little reality break, ok? Just cuz you’re in love with Dr. Turner, that does NOT mean you’re gonna pass her course. Now, you got a major paper comin’ up on Kurt Vonnegut. You haven’t even read any of the books.
Billy Pilgrim: [giving speech] You see in Tralfamador, where I presently dwell, life has no beginning, no middle, and no end. For example, many years ago a certain man promised to have me killed. He’s an old man now, living not far from here. He’s read all of the publicity associated with my appearance. He’s insane. And tonight he’ll keep his promise.
[murmurs throughout the crowd]
Billy Pilgrim: If you protest, if you think that death is a terrible thing, then you’ve not understood what I have said.
[Lazzaro appears in balcony]
Billy Pilgrim: You see it’s time for you to go home - to your lives and your children. It’s time for me to be dead for a little while. And then live again. I give you the Tralfamadorian greeting: Hello. Farewell. Hello. Farewell. Eternally connected, eternally embracing. Hello. Farewell.
[Lazzaro shoots Billy]
Everything we like is either illegal, immoral, or fattening!
(Love Affair - 1939)
I have a thought for you: Murder is illegal, but you take a picture of somebody committing the act of murder, they’ll put you on the cover of Newsweek. You might even win a Pulitzer Prize. And yet, sex is legal. Everybody’s doin’ it, or everyone wants to be doin’ it. Yet, you take a picture of two people in the act of sex, or just a picture of woman’s naked body, and they’ll put you in jail. Now, I have a message for all you good, moral, Christian people who are complaining that breasts and vaginas are obscene. Hey, don’t complain to me; complain to the manufacturer. Okay? And although Jesus told us not to judge, I know you’re gonna judge anyway, so judge sanely. Judge with your eyes open.
Hi I’m Paulie the Penis. And I just love to have fun. Ha Ha Ha.
“Air France made me. We walked out with four hundred and twenty thousand dollars without using a gun. And we did the right thing. We gave Paulie his tribute.”
The truth is I’m not a doctor or a lawyer. I’m not an airline pilot. I’m nothing really. I’m just a kid in love with your daughter.
‘Did he fire six shots or only five’? Well to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, i kind of lost track myself. But being that this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: ‘Do I feel lucky?’ Well do ya, punk?
Hey…I gots to know.