Chuck, are you trying to trying to hold my hand, you sly dog?
[Hey this is the same speech. For shame.]
We was always taking long walks, and we was always looking for a guy named “Charlie.”
Where the hell’s my boots? Anybody seen my boots? Somebody took my boots. I bought 'em special. All right. All right, you guys. Whoever took my boots, I want 'em back.
Ahh, but the strawberries that’s… that’s where I had them. They laughed at me and made jokes but I proved beyond the shadow of a doubt and with… geometric logic… that a duplicate key to the wardroom icebox DID exist, and I’d have produced that key if they hadn’t of pulled the Caine out of action. I, I, I know now they were only trying to protect some fellow officers…
–I certainly wish you would have invented a more reasonable story. I felt distinctly like an idiot repeating it.
–Don’t worry about the story’s goofiness. A sensible one would have had us all in the cooler.
Before I go, I just want you two to know something, alright? The “Supercop” story… was working. Okay? It was working, and you guys just messed it up. Okay? I’m trying to figure you guys out, but I haven’t yet. But it’s cool. You fuck up a perfectly good lie.
You want to learn the first rule you’d know if you ever spent a day in your life…you never open your mouth till you know what the shot is.
It isn’t a matter of learning. It’s instinct.
You’re a first-year grad student; you just got finished reading some Marxian historian, Pete Garrison probably. You’re gonna be convinced of that 'till next month when you get to James Lemon. Then you’re going to be talking about how the economies of Virginia and Pennsylvania were entrepreneurial and capitalist way back in 1740. That’s gonna last until next year…
Private Pyle, your ass looks like about a hundred and fifty pounds of chewed bubblegum!
<in honor of Gunny Ermey who has answered his last roll call>
So we’re all dogfaces; we’re all very, very different, but there is one thing that we all have in common: we were all stupid enough to enlist in the Army. We’re mutants. There’s something wrong with us, something very, very wrong with us. Something seriously wrong with us - we’re soldiers.
Oh, I see. What we got here is a crusader. Shit. You gotta be rich in the first place to think like that. Everybody know the poor are always being fucked over by the rich. Always have, always will.
But choose wisely, for while the true Grail will bring you life, the false Grail will take it from you.
We’re averting our eyes, O Lord.
You were praying for guidance.
God doesn’t talk to me anymore.
And from now on, stop playing with yourself.
At least it’s doing it with someone I love.
Boys have a penis. Girls have a vagina.