Whoa, TMI, dude!
Can that chubby boy handle himself?
Oh, sarcasm! That’s original!
It’s probably just as well. I plagiarized most of it from James Joyce. You probably wondered why all the references to Dublin.
Memory can change the shape of a room; it can change the color of a car. And memories can be distorted. They’re just an interpretation, they’re not a record, and they’re irrelevant if you have the facts.
You got two days to clean out your desk.
We need to talk about your TPS reports.
Oh, man, she’s never gonna fuck us now. Well, you maybe, but definitely not me. Tell me how she is.
If things go well I might be showing her my O-face. “Oh… Oh… Oh!” You know what I’m talkin’ about.
“Oh!”
Damn it, this always happens. I think I’m gonna score, and then I never do! It’s not fair. We’ve traveled, um, a hundred miles 'cause we thought we were gonna score. But now it’s not gonna happen. Damn it! I’m sick and tired of this! We’re never gonna score. It’s just not gonna happen! We’re just gonna get old like these people… but they’ve probably scored! It’s like… this chick’s a slut. And look at this guy. He’s old, but he’s probably scored a million times!
But not us! We’re never gonna score! We’re NEVER gonna score! WE’RE NEVER GONNA SCORE!
You know, man, if we ever make it home, I’m going to do so much fucking cocaine. I’m gonna rape so many fine bitches. I’ll be like, “What time is it? After 5:00? Damn. Time to go rape me some fine bitches.”
You never talked dirty like that when we were married.
Mawwiage…mawwiage is whut bwings us together today.
My parents were married for 63 years. SOME of them good!
In a row?
Both of them?
Agitated, sir!
Our Germans are better than their Germans.
Well, listen, my kraut mick friend…
I haven’t seen Berlin yet, from the ground or from the air, and I plan on doing both before the war is over.