I joined a speed dating group here in Los Angeles and am looking forward to my first event. (EHarmony wasn’t cutting it and I have yet to find where they hide the single guys in LA.)
Here’s the deal: I only get 4 - 6 minutes per “date.” How do I learn anything in that amount of time? Is there a good strategy? Do any of you have any war stories about the wide world of speed dating?
Wish me luck!
How fun! I don’t, but thought it looked like a fun thing to do…my little brother signed up once, but wussed out.
They have one in Santa Barbara and I would try it except that there are two age groups, 25-40 and 40-60. As a 42 year old man, neither of those two work for me.
So I’ve never done it and probably never will unless the change the age constraint but that won’t stop me from giving some advice. Don’t try to tell your whole life story. Figure out the few things that you do want to get across, write them down and practice saying them a couple of times so that you don’t waste time. Be funny. Look your best. In four to six minutes, it’s going to all be about attraction and chemistry.
Don’t stress. You have nothing to lose.
Thanks for the advice. As a former radio dj I’m used to pre-reading and preparing before I open my mouth. As for shutting my mouth, THAT I need to practice!
According to the website “Ages are not set in stone.” I’m going to a party for 25 - 35 on my 37th birthday. Shhh…
Write your e-mail address very neatly. The one event I went to, the person who was in charge of mailing out results was apparently not the sharpest bulb in the box as it took several e-mails to get my results sent to me, and when I did, two of the people’s e-mail addresses were dead. (I suppose it’s possible that they gave fake addresses, but it seems to defeat the point, besides being a waste of time and money.)
Also, figure out your answers to: “What do you do?” “Where do you live?” (unless your speed dating event is very regional; L.A.'s a big place after all) and “What do you do for fun?” Generally speaking, these questions will be 80% of the conversations you have.
Other than that, just relax and have fun. Good luck. 
I did one of these once. It, or perhaps I, was a total disaster. You were supposed to rate your…er…opponents(?), and they matched up people who had a certain mutual level of interest. We were guranteed to get at least three “prospects” out of it. I know I marked a few “very interested” and many “somewhat interested”, more out of form than genuine interest. (There seemed to be a large contingent of women who were, as my grandfather would say, a meal ticket; a lot of very pointed and even brazen questions about income and possessions.) Anyway, I apparently didn’t meet the minimum critieria for any of the women I indicated interest in. So I was ‘guaranteed’ the right to go back and subject myself to more Iron Maiden treatment. (Yeah, I kissed that $60 goodbye.)
And the whole experience…well, I’m not especially good at meeting people anyway, and particuarly not under that kind of pressure to put on my Happy Face. At least I didn’t have to endure, or be endured, for the obligatory social minimum of 30 minutes required by traditional dating. I’m guessing this is the major appeal of this thing.
So you should probably take my recommendations the way you’d take advice on integrity from Joe Isuzu, but for what it’s worth:[ul]
[li]Don’t talk about money; not what you make, not what he makes, nada.[/li][li]Have a prepared set of questions; this is basically an interview, even more so than a typical date, and you don’t have time to fumble around (like I do) trying to make some kind of conversation. They’ll probably give you a list of suggested questions.[/li][li]If you have any dealbreakers (no smoking, no kids, no chemical dependencies, et cetera), you might as well state them (in a nonagressive manner) now. Ditto for absoute requirements (want to have kids, has to go to church, et cetera). No point wasting time.[/li][li]Don’t give out any specific identifying information (where you work, phone number, et cetera). I recall a couple of strange blokes at the dating thing I went to, so they didn’t really seem to screen people out very well. (The women, even the goldbrickers, were all quite pleasent, even when they were clearly not interested. At least that’s an improvement over the typical thing.)[/li][li]Don’t set your expectations too high. I had an acquaintance–female, and not too picky–who quite enjoyed this sort of thing, and was actually responsible for enrolling me in this. She never got any solid relationships out of it, but quite a few dates and seeme to like it.[/li][/ul]
So don’t take my muffishness on the topic to mean that it doesn’t work or can’t be fun. Personally, though, I’d rather stick my hand in a vat of molten lead while lying on a bed of nails, though. Then at least I’d have the opportunity to show up that wiseacre Jearl Walker, or die trying in the name of science.
Stranger
Good Org, someone must have better advice than mine. Please, for the love of all that is good and holy, someone post a positive experience or some better suggestions. I don’t want to be the thread-killer on this particular topic.
Stranger
Thanks for your advice, Stranger. I went, I had fun, and now I await my scores. I had 15 4-minute dates and only one guy was a total turn-off. (It was towards the end and he’d loaded up on the $4 beers.) We never mentioned money but work was a big topic; Work, hobbies and my favorite question, “What was your proudest moment?” That guy had actually taken time to plan his questions.
Most of the people there were well within the age boundaries listed but a couple of us Gen X fogies slipped through. (Don’t tell US what to do, man!)
I’m looking forward to seeing who I’m matched with and goshdarnit, I’m gonna go to another event this Wednesday!
hajario, in SB the 40-60 group is not a speed-dating group, just a relaxed social group to meet other singles. Also, there are several people in their 40’s in the 40-60 one. I’ve attended it several times. I don’t know about the younger group. Just FYI.
Yell alot. About anything. Occasionally slam your hand on the table without reason. And make sure the other person feels intimidated. Feelings of fear have been shown to lead to sexual arousal.
Tell the other person that they are about 3/4ths as attractive as your ex. And that your ex was great and that it’ll take a miracle to replace them. Show them a picture of your ex. A couple of minutes after showing the picture start saying ‘you’d look alot more attractive if you cut your hair shorter and dyed it brown’ or ‘if you wore a red sweater you’d be really attractive’. Make sure your ex had short brown hair and a red sweater in the photo you showed.
Ask him if he heard that Oregon recently retracted an old law which said spousal rape was acceptable. Tell him it really pissed you off and you had to change vacation plans because of it and go to Colorado instead. You’re a woman so this would sound even weirder.
Tell him you’re really not sure why God chose you to build the next ark, but that you are really looking forward to the challenge. Ask if he is a carpenter. When he says no say ‘damn’ and get up and leave.
I really have nothing useful to add. I tried to google an article on how to converse at these things and couldn’t find one.
Seven years isn’t very speedy, is it?
Regards,
Shodan
I met a zombie there once.
I smell curry and spam.
If anyone wants to discuss this still, feel free to make a new thread as this one is fairly old.