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I want somebody who will understand,
When it comes to love, I want a slow hand.
I’m committed to taking advice from song lyrics–they trump anything that includes the “have you ever weasel” technique.
Oh, I thought you were talking about that speed-dating thing. Never mind. Carry on.
F_X
Hiya, doll!
OK if I put my hand here?
Ouch!
OK, next!
I knew a guy whose approach was, “Hi, I’m Bob. Wanna fuck?” His batting average was predictably low, but it wasn’t zero. He was willing to live with that.
–Nott
AskNott–I once had a guy approach me with “Hi, my name’s Tyrone and my hobbies are basketball and sex.” Then he grabbed his package and waggled his tongue at me.
When I recovered from my bout of hysterical laughter, I couldn’t help but wonder if that had ever actually worked. Now you say it does. :eek: Fates help us all–they’re capable of reproducing.
bella
Hmm. Well, I was talking to Spoz once about major flirtation, and he offered this up as an example of it: “Oi, let’s fuck.” I’d say that was definitely short and to the point, but I’m not sure how often you’d get lucky with that particular pick-up line.
Then again, there was this other time I was talking to him, and he mentioned that one of his friends in the bar that night had this very odd line: “Hi, I have a six-foot tall space monkey named George.” (or something to that effect) I suppose you’d have to give Spoz’s friend points for originality, but I still don’t know about the mileage you’d get with that one.
F_X
What sort of pathetic person would heed that advice? You must be a special kind of stupid to believe that nosense will work.
“Hi. Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?”
That happened to me exactly once, at 7:30 am outside the Quality Inn in Waikiki. I’d stopped to buy a newspaper from a box when a young man asked if I wanted to fuck. After I stammered out a shocked negative, he then said “I can satisfy you.” I was halfway up the block before I came up with the perfect reply – “Sir, you do not have the capacity to satisfy me.”
Sheesh! I was hoping Tom Cruise’s character in Magnolia was fiction!
CJ
It’s sorta like the first time I met my now ex-girlfriend. This was about a year before we started dating, and we had never spoken before.
We were at school, and she walked up to me and asked if I had a car. When I said yes she declared that I was driving her and a friend somewhere that weekend. I declared equally forcefully that I was doing no such thing.
She stopped, looked at me and asked “Have you ever had a blow job with Pop Rocks?”
She was totally kidding, but she said it with such a fabulously straight face. It was sufficient to make my eyes pop out of my head, considering that this was the third sentence in the first conversation we ever had. I still didn’t give her a ride :D.
Heh, that girl. She’s a funny one.
LC