[QUOTE=Rubystreak]
I also think being funny, well-groomed, polite, and acting interested without coming off as a sleaze or a serial killer would work too. But if you just want to go home with someone for a one-shot, I think alice is right-- the girl has to be up for it that day. Look for eye contact, smiling, etc. Then talk to her and hope for the best.
[/QUOTE]
Here’s the kicker (at least as far as the OP is concerned); he’s not willing to go home with just any woman, but one that he finds “reasonably attractive or better”. His success using the shotgun approach will clearly depend on his definition of attractive and his flexibility thereof as the evening progresses, but I think his underlying question isn’t “How do I get a woman to have sex with me?”, but “How do I get Bachelorette #2 to want to have sex with me?”
If you read the advice of the seduction community–and it is my shame to admit that I have–you realize that they can, in fact, manipulate a woman who has little or no initial interest in having sex with our hero into going home with him. However, the claimed high rates of success are based upon careful selection of suitable candidate populations, i.e. they set their sights on women with self-esteem or dependence issues and use those as a wedge to make the woman feel inadequate and needing to prove herself.
For instance (and I’m not recommending that you try this at home, but you’re all adults) one popular technique is to approach a gaggle of women, get their attention, pass off some slight toward the most attractive of the bunch, and then procede to ignore her while engaging her friends. Human nature being what it is, Attractive Girl is pissed and confused that the Ugly Friend–I’m sorry, she’s not ugly, I mean Homely Friend, she’s homely–is getting all the attention, and so starts competing and primping. The more the guy ignores her, the more of a challenge it is, until she’s willing to throw herself at him just on the principle of the matter. Now, this sounds really stupid, and clearly anybody who realized what was going on and why would ignore our hero right back (or better yet, manipulate him into getting all excited and then blow him off with a wave of the hand–hey, turnabout is fair play), but of course most of the girls who hang out in clubs are not so self-aware or capable of analyzing their own social processes.
Since bars and clubs combine limited verbal communication, a lack of coherent purpose, a “high energy” spontaneous social environment, flaw-concealing dimness, and of course alcohol, they’re an ideal playing field for this sort of thing. The same technique can work in other places, but generally with somewhat less effectiveness, and I daresay is scarcely works at all in a situation like an activity club where people have a purpose in being there and will tend to take an insult as, well, as a personal offense. There are other techniques that may work better in those environments–I’m no expert–but ultimately preying on someone’s weaknesses is not the basis for any kind of extended relationship, however casual. You can’t really respect someone that you manipulate, and you can’t help but be resentful of someone who yanks your chain all the time.
Is it “wrong” to push the buttons of someone who is easily manipulated in order to get laid? On some level, they’re willing to do what they do, manipulation or no, because it’s what they want to do. It satisfies some need, even if its an unhealthy need. And assuming that we’re talking about an adult who is sufficiently sober to give consent and isn’t otherwise under duress, it’s not really your place to fix or modify the behavior of strangers. She’s probably going to go home with someone tonight, and as a (female) friend of mine says, if you’re going to give her a good time and keep her safe, it might as well be you. On the other hand, if you’re a well-adjusted human being with an appropriate level of empathy, manipulating people to make them do what you want them to do is naturally and reasonably a little unseemly. The breakpoint is wherever it balances out between satisfying and creepy for you, but there’s always a certain lack of disclosure and testing of responses in any initial relationship with anyone.
Now, this isn’t to say that there aren’t perfectly healthy, well-balanced, attractive ladies who are interested in a quick zipless thing to suit their own needs and interests, and in such a case, walking up and striking a conversation is probably your best opening line. You’ll either meet her critieria or you won’t, and aside from remaining reasonably sober and not saying or doing something blatantly offensive there’s little you can do to change that. There are, if you listen to the neurolinguistic programming crowd, things you can say and body languages you can use to push somebody’s buttons, and there’s certainly something to that, but you’re not going to take some healthy, independent girl who has no interest in you and have her panting for you in spare minutes. (That is, unless you’re Daniel Craig, about whom every woman I’ve heard express an opinion seems totally entranced. However, I’m assuming that the OP is not, in fact, in contention for the role of James Bond should something unfortunate happen to Craig and therefore has to work with whatever native charms and talents he has at his disposal.)
Mind you, this is all delivered from a strictly objective, academic point of view. I don’t hang out at bars picking up women, and in fact, I generally suck at meeting people in social situations, especially ones where there’s some tangible payoff if I manage not to fuck it up. Interacting with people and “picking up” women isn’t something you’re going to learn out of a playbook, and there are no magical pickup lines that cause women to drop their panties for you; a good portion of this is practice and the experience that comes from failure, along with sincere empathy (or the ability to fake it) tempered by a willful self-interest (i.e. your mental dialogue is “I’m going to get laid tonight, and if it ain’t you I’m going to move onto the next candidate.”) Personally, I find casual one-night hookups to be kind of skivvish unless there’s some kind of instant connection that’s deeper than just a mutual instinctive desire to exchange body fluids, so it ain’t my game. (Apparently, neither is actual dating, but that’s a story for another thread.)
So…play nice and don’t hurt anybody, and realize that you’re going to fail more than you succeed, especially if you wish to avoid intentional manipulation and exploitation of ingrained emotional flaws. And just like in martial arts where there are “Instant Death Nerve Strikes”, there are also no “Instant Sex Pickup Lines”. Don’t pay good money for that crap.
Oh, and bring condoms. Safety first.
Stranger
The most you’d get from me with any of those is a groan and a rapid departure.