However, you have to acknowledge that, in fact, the vast majority of [del]women[/del]people are in fact “shallow, lame, and STUPID”, and if your objective is to get the attentions of the most physically attractive female in the bar, this works suprisingly well.
When I first read of this, I assumed it was errant bombast. Then I went out (as a social science experiment, mind you) and actually tried it. Despite an almost complete lack of general social ability with the ladies, it worked like clockwork. Of course, also made me feel like taking a long shower, and while the females in question weren’t the shallowest and lamest (and probably not the stupidest, although I’ve learned not to prejudge peoples’ intelligence on the first pass) especially in comparison with the likes of Paris Hilton or Britney Spears, I could only take about twenty minutes of irritatingly mindless chatter before I wanted to trepanate myself to relieve the intense pain in my gulliver and thus had to excuse myself. So, like Indiana Jones, I made it past all the traps and hazards but couldn’t take the treasure back to the lab.
I haven’t tried this at the bookstore or library, but I don’t expect it would go over all that well, which is a damned shame (well, sort of) 'cause that would be my ideal stalking grounds for game that would feed my appetite. Instead, I try the, “Say, do you know where the collections of Blake are?” or “I’ve noticed they only have the permabound versions of Feynman’s Lectures; I have the 25th Anniversary Edition Set at home; would you like to come see them sometime?” which never works, but if it did I’d be on Cloud Nine. Instead, I’m just a slightly creepy, bookish geek, and that doesn’t generally get the evolutionarialy-tuned sex hormones raging.
Step 1. Enter a bar.
Step 2. Find a woman.
Step 3. Ask woman, “Y’fuckin’?”
Repeat Steps 2 & 3 until you receive an affirmative response.
Sure, it might take a while, but eventually there’ll be a woman who will either laugh too hard to get away or else she’ll be so amazed at your forthrightness that she shall be yours for the taking.
Disclaimer: The above poster is not responsible for any bodily harm you may suffer as a result of following this advice.
Geisundheit! I’d once been told by a man that this actually worked. I suppose it’s possible, but I won’t be satisfied until I somehow induce someone to actually use it and tell me their results. I’d try it myself, but I’m sure the response a woman would get would be wildly, wildly different from that of a man.
But I hate Christianity (and Judaism, and Islam, and all forms of Abrahamic Yahvism) with a cold, bitter passion all good and decent people should share, and I am too honest to dissemble on that point. I might go to a Unitarian church group, but those are rare and small.
Great advice if you don’t mind if the woman doesn’t have brains upstairs. Myself, I wouldn’t want to be with any woman who is dumb enough to fall for any ploy I might come up with.
Different women will go for different things, but in my own case I’d probably find brutal, up front honesty more appealing than anything too cutesy or convoluted. Guys who ask me to dance when they can’t dance or try to engage me in conversation that they’re clearly disinterested in aren’t particularly appealing. My advice, from my own experience, would truly be to simply straight out compliment her. Tell her you find her attractive without sounding like you’re using a line. Pathetically, most of the grotesquely obnoxious lines out there are just overly complex, “witty” ways of saying you find the woman attractive. Why throw all the fluff in there? It seems far more genuine if it’s a simple statement, and genuine interest–even if it’s only physical–can accomplish quite a bit.
I bet you all wish you were still in college huh? This thread makes me appreciate how nice it is to be in a place with so much alcohol and so much sexual energy. Its a good life.
Now, if you can talk like Stranger can write, or even put up a good approximation, and you have any kind of eyes at all, that would be just about enough for me. And I’m no easy lay.
Beats me. You know where I always picked up women? The computer lab. Granted, I was in college at the time, and also happen to be a woman. Although I can generalize that if you want to pick up a woman, sending your wife to do it may be helpful. Those without wives could borrow one, I suppose. I guess it’s just a further application of the female friend as wingwoman technique.
A sincere compliment will likely be more effective than any line, though.
Or, reading through Stranger on a Train’s post #15, I find I tend to agree with him, which surprises me a bit.
Well, in bars, and if she is sitting at the bar, I have had some success sitting back for a couple hours watching macho bullshitters trying line after line , bragging, talking shit, etc, then when she is tired of that, and you can tell, I just walk up, sit a stool or two away, order a beer, sit for a while and then say something stupid and funny like “Hello”
I don’t hate atheists and agnostics, having been an atheist for quite some time myself. FWIW, the Unitarians around here are pretty well represented, so it may just depend where you are. There is also something called Church of Religious Science. I’ve made a few friends who turned out to be involved in that, and they were people I thought were pretty cool to hang around with, although their church wasn’t for me.
Still, the real reason I came back to the thread was with an even better idea for Ahunter3. If actually becoming a professional athlete or rock star is not an option, become a gatekeeper, wingman, roadie, or designated driver for a group of them. A line something like “I’m not going to be able to get you in with the band/team tonight, but if you’d like to come back to my room I’ve got a bottle of Kahlua” will probably yield reasonable returns.
I’ve seen that work many times. It was the standard “technique” of several of my rugby mates, who seldom would go home alone.
(Part of me thinks why not. The other part thinks ICK!!! Run Away!!! But regardless of my low opinion of my team mates’ behaviour, I have to admit that they got laid frequently simply by repeatedly approaching women and asking if they wanted to fuck.)
I’ve also noticed a theme in romance novels: The hero can’t really be a bastard, he has to be fundamentally admirable, but it’s OK if he’s a “bad boy” in a benign sense. Maybe he’s a cop who did some crimes before he went straight. Often he’s an incredibly promiscuous womanizer (who never actually does a woman wrong, by modern standards) until he meets the heroine, who is the first woman he’s ever known who makes him want to go monogamous. I wonder if that’s a common female fantasy?
