I am now drawing my stick-figure epic : Spider-Man v. Everyone. For starters, Spidey will whomp upon…
Batman
All the X-Men
The Superfriends
The Whassup Guys
Pikachu
Flavor Flav
The Ambiguously Gay Duo
The Grue from Zork
Adam Sandler
The Old Lady From The Old Navy Commericals
Most Foot Fetishists
Super Grover
The Monkees
Concrete/jebus/jayburner
Hilarity will ensue.
You have provided a great public service. We can only hope that this great bone of contention can be laid to rest and Wolverine can begin his career as Spidey’s bitch.
Scupper wrote:
Because that night I realized that with great power comes great responsibility.
Sorry, what were we talking about?
Another thing to think about - who CAN beat Spidey? Since he’s kicked the asses of the X-Men, that puts him up there.
In order to beat him you need 1) comparable speed and agilty 2) some kind of area attack that’ll negate his spidey-sense and 3) some way to avoid being webbed or be strong enough to ignore it.
Several DC heroes make the cut - Superman and the Flash come to mind, they’d have no problem with Spiderman.
But what about Marvel?
I think the Invisible Woman could take him fairly easily. Go invisible, shield herself against webbing, and blast him from afar with her invisible bolts or cut off his air… as long as she doesn’t faint prematurely.
I don’t know if the Silver Surfer is fast enough - strong enough to ignore webbing - power cosmic and all - and very agile.
Wolvie would never get to him… seeing as they cant sneak up on each other and Spidey is faster, stronger, more agile, has webing, is smarter and is also more level headed… but the thing is Wolvie has an unbreakable skeleton complete with claws that can cut close to anything and heals… so while Spidey would best him as far as combat skills go (relative to this matchup)… it would be hard for Spidey actually kill Wolvie… while if Wolvie lucked up and got in a good shot Spidey isnt all that much harder to kill than your average mutant endowed with super strength… so it looks like close to me… but if it goes to the cards give it to Spidey… if somebody actually dies… Wolvie probably came out on top…
Could Spidey simply twist Wolverine’s head till it came off? I’m not too sure how well the vertebrae interlock, but it seems possible that he could seperate them, and then just twist ol’ Logan’s neck till it tears off.
Gruesome, but possible?
'nuff said.
Otherwise, the best Spidey could hope for is a draw. I could recover from whatever he throws at me. Plus, I know a few more moves than he does. He could stay out of my way but that won’t really constitute a fight.
The only real winnable advantage he has is his brain. If he could whip up something to completely scramble my heightened senses would he be able to lay any type of beating on me.
Otherwise
Hand to hand - me
General (open)- draw
Time to generate toys and weapons - him
Quicksilver, maybe. If we’re going to assume The Flash could pull it off (Very little doubt, the dude if way faster than Spidey. His Spidey-Sense would have to give him one hell of a headstart for him to stand a chance.), Quicksilver has much the same advantage. Sure he had to resort to a cheap-shot to defeat Flash in the Marvel vs DC thing(Caught Wally while he was doing a good deed), but he wasn’t heavily outmatched.
Check up a few pages for what the good folks at Marvel have to say about it 
No kidding!
The flash could vibrate his molecules and make the webbing slide right off. Then, can you imagine the devestation from a shoulder-block at Flash’s speed? They’d pick Spidey up 7 miles away.
Well, Norrin Radd is smart enough, can probably atomize webbing, and fast enough to dodge laser beams, so he’d have a good chance.
But Spidey did once KO another Herald of Galactus, FireLord. So the Power Cosmic alone isn’t enough.