Star Trek non sequitur thread

Non canon, but worth saying:

You know, before I answer any more questions there’s something I wanted to say. Having received all your letters over the years, and I’ve spoken to many of you, and some of you have traveled… y’know… hundreds of miles to be here, I’d just like to say… GET A LIFE, will you people? I mean, for crying out loud, it’s just a TV show! I mean, look at you, look at the way you’re dressed! You’ve turned an enjoyable little job, that I did as a lark for a few years, into a COLOSSAL WASTE OF TIME! I mean, how old are you people? What have you done with yourselves? You, you must be almost 30… have you ever kissed a girl? I didn’t think so! There’s a whole world out there! When I was your age, I didn’t watch television! I LIVED! So… move out of your parent’s basements! And get your own apartments and GROW THE HELL UP! I mean, it’s just a TV show dammit, IT’S JUST A TV SHOW!

Your agonizer…Please!

I… have had enough… of YOU!

Possibly similar to a lemur or…pygmy marmoset.

and later…

“Are you sure it isn’t time for a colorful metaphor?”

Oh yeah, as he’s kicking Reverend Jim off of a cliff.

My name is Mott.
I… I’m the barber.

Eat any good books lately?

“I prefer another guide.”

If you were any other man, I would kill you where you stand!

“I sense hostility.”

Tronya!

“By Grabthar’s Hammer, by the sons of Wartham, you shall be avenged.”

What do you mean that’s not from Star Trek?

Motherless BEAST!

I’ll wager 20 quatloos on the newcomer.

“I’m a doctor, not a bricklayer!”

I’m a doctor, not a ___________________.

a. moon-shuttle conductor
b. bricklayer
c. psychiatrist
d. escalator
e. mechanic
f. engineer
g. magician
h. flesh peddler
i. coal miner
j. mechanic
k. physicist
l, spy
m. botanist
n. historian
o. decorator
p. bartender
q. voyeur
r. performer
s. counter-insurgent
t. database
u. peeping Tom
v. battery
w. dragon-slayer
x. zoo-keeper

“You’re just supposed to… sit here?”

Here’s one for math majors: No idea what episode it’s from (it was one of the original three seasons), or what the exact numbers involved:

Spock reads off some statistic with lots of digits: “ point [xxxxxxx] times one to the [some big number]'th power.”

(Can anybody help fill in the details?)

– Senegoid

Star Trek meets Mission Impossible:

In college (circa 1970) a certain crowd gathered to watch Star Trek (original series) re-runs, which aired daily. Immediately after that came Mission Impossible re-runs, also daily – mostly the same crowd watched that too. In one episode, Phelps et al are at sidewalk cafe in Paris. A drive-by shooting happens. Screams and pandemonium. Victim laying on the ground. Paris (played by Nimoy, of course) bends over victim, takes his pulse, while Phelps stands in the background, arms folded across his chest, just watching gravely. Paris looks up at Phelps and says:

. . . Wait for it . . .

He’s DEAD, Jim!

Crowd in TV room breaks forth in uproarious laughter!
True story!

– Senegoid