State of the Nation: WE'RE SERIOUSLY FUCKED [long]

There is a serious problem with the country.

The serious problem concerns the statewide elections rapidly coming up on Nov. 24th – do you know what would happen should the Democrats lose both the house and the senate? The GOP would have control over all three branches of the federal government: The President, the House & Senate, and the Supreme Court. This will put them in a position to not just advance their agenda, but to set up the government so that no one can undo the damage. Can you imagine the disaster looming?

Do you know how hard it is for politicians to raise taxes after their venal predecessors have untowardly slashed them? Damn hard. That’s what faces us if the Republicans win the House and Senate – times about a hundred. They will stock the federal and state courts with Scalia-style conservative activists; The supreme court will have enough conservatives to repeal Roe V. Wade; Unelected functionaries, such as exists now in the FEC, will be appointed to subvert and decimate decent law in dark back rooms; Election districts will be gerrymandered so as to stack the deck for Republicans; With the power of the courts, all close elections will be decided for the Right; The corporate abuse that the Republicans let grow unchecked will once again spring up, vomiting pollutants on your community; Lacking a counterweight, this already secretive and unaccountable administration will tell us nothing, will give us nothing, will never listen to us.

Some of this will not be able to be undone for 40 years, if then.

And, my god! Their agenda will come to pass. Do you know what their agenda is? You can ask them, they’ll tell you:

[ul]1) To level the government by means of starving it; transferring money to the upper classes by means of tax cuts, privatizing social security, and givebacks to their corporate donors. Welfare, social security, and basic government services will be slashed; Government will no longer be a source of good, so people will be inactive in civic duty, and the unholy corporate-government alliance will continue unchecked.

  1. For 30 years, they have been trying to stack the Supreme Court so that the religious, dogmatic, conservative wing – which rules the party, by the way – can strike down Roe V. Wade, and revolutionizing the second amendment. This is their stated agenda, as the quote goes, “you can look it up.”

  2. To rig the system so that no other party can gain power; you can call it “subverting democracy,” I think they’d be quite proud of that appellation.

  3. To foster a less inclusive, multi-racial, multi-ethnic, multi-religion society. To elevate on a platform of power, the White Christian Man, who, in their view, has been unjustly restrained by the forces of a culture it created, but does not understand.

  4. To a return to manifest destiny; that the US should be able to protect its interests with it’s might. As the richest and strongest nation, we will project our force into any nation, claiming preemptive right of destruction of other nations. Obeying no laws, and abrogating those signed previously, and denying other countries’ right to try to challenge our military suasion, we will own the world, as God has decreed.[/ul]
    Their agenda is horrid; they contemplate starting WWIII for the political advantage that would ensue; they lie, distort, and publish bogus statistics; their credibility is negative – when they say something, the opposite is more true than not; they are hypocrites of the first order, caring not a fig for their “principles” of federalism, literalism, or conservatism, they care for one thing:

Power.

They lust for power, they masturbate to visions of their crazed power making the towel-rags, feminazis, and darkies do their bidding under the ascendancy of the White Man; they consider the Middle East “A cauldron that needs boiling over.” They drool over the prospect of eternal war against a way of thinking; they pray for a crusade to demonstrate their power. Power, power, and more power. When Jim Jeffords stripped them of their power in the senate via his betrayal, they literally pissed on his picture.

They are as children, except children would never be allowed to play with Global Thermonuclear War; they snitch; They love the cheap insult and fraternity power-play humor; they do not play fair; they play to destroy the system, to change the rules in their favor; to manipulate, and connive; To conspire, spy, and cheat their way to the top; They care for nothing except power and money, and they see those as equivalent. Their words mean nothing; To give these mad-men power over the House and Senate would mean to give them power over the world.

How is this even a possibility? How did we, the body politic, let these madmen, these world-killing encephalic megalomaniacs even near the seat of power? I wouldn’t let them own a sharp knife, and here they are, at the culmination of years of conspiring to attain this, thanks to the vomitous and democracy subverting agendas of the Federalist Society, the Heritage Foundation, and a handful of deranged Republican corporate moneybags.

Have we not been living in a Democracy? I sometimes feel it’s hopeless – but that’s just what they want me to feel. In those dark times, I retread to my room, surrounded by the succor and din of modern convenience, my connections to thousands of images, words, my cheap Swedish furniture, and ensconced by books – but it is Fools Gold! If I am not free, I want none of it!

Am I not free to choose the politicians that represent me? Does my country act in my name anymore? It does not. I do not approve. My representatives have betrayed me. They are as traitors to my name. I vote and it does not count. I call and they do not hear. I protest and they do not note.

They will hear me. If I have to volunteer on their committees, and change their agenda, they will hear me. If I have to vote for a senator who takes watches over one that takes pensions, I will. If I have to vote for naiveté or incompetence over this coming evil, I will. I will compromise my values, I will. I will compromise my livelihood, I will. I will compromise my life if I have to, I will. I must win, I can win, and I will win.

Later, there can be a third party that makes no such compromises. Now is not the time.

We must join together our lone voices of criticism into a giant trumpet peal loud enough to shake the rafters of Washington; We must come together strong enough to wield the sword of citizenship, to cut the diseased limbs from the system; We must be dedicated enough to sustain our power, we must not flag at the first attack, and make no mistake, there will be many; We must come together, putting aside our petty differences, and infighting; We must vote Democratic across the board, caring not for local issues. What do I care if my street has more crime, if I myself am in danger of being arrested for my views? We will vote each and every venal hypocritical Republican out of office, which is all of them. We will march, We will scream, We will volunteer, We will cajole, We will threaten.

And we will win.

-Owen

I thought we were supposed to clearly identify parody threads. Where’s your Ann Coulter link?

Let’s hear it for the sheep! baa-a-a-ah

Dude, you’re right! I never realized it! You mean, if I voted Republican, the Republicans might win?

Heavy…

You sir, are a total fucking idiot.

Now that you’ve put it that way, I’m seriously thinking of becoming a Republican.

Maeglin: For the masturbation?

Um, if the Democrats lose both the House and Senate, it would be because they got voted out, right? Why else would they get voted out, unless they suck? The people will have spoken.

Unless I’ve been totally wooshed here (it’s happened before, I’m not the brightest bulb in the chandelier, I know), and this is all a parody, Mr. Libertarian is just going to get out of the way of the new Satire Master, Mr. Ace0Spades.

Scylla: Who cares what you say?

I was thinking of the lust for power and enslavement of those who disagree with me. No political ideology seems to have a monopoly on the masturbation. A equal opportunity fringe benefit, if you will.

Unless, of course, the three pillars of government are taken over by Republicans. They will undoubtedly try to prevent the towel-heads, the feminazis, and the dirt-eating druids from masturbating.

Has anyone ever noticed that, without exception, it is always the self-styled liberals who drag up offensive racial slurs? (P.S. It’s either “towelhead” OR “raghead,” but NOT “towel-rags”.)

And I’m certainly glad we have been warned that Jodi, Scylla, UncleBeer and Fenris, to name just a smattering of our Pubbie posters,

If we smashed together Ace and Ann Coulter, would they annihilate each other in a titanic blast of radiation, creating a new subatomic particle, that, in the tradition of the proton, the neutron, and the electron would be dubbed the moron?

You know, it is telling that the best that the Dems can offer to try to shore up their waning base is fearmongering. This is the third post of this type I’ve seen on a webforum today. Was there a fax alert sent out? Methinks that this is akin to Rush Limbaugh’s “seminar callers.”

**

Isn’t this done at the state level? Correct me if I’m wrong, but Congress doesn’t draw its own districts.

Never be afraid to cloak your lack of quality in quantity.

Oh, and what Scylla said.

Wait, we Republicans literally pissed on Jefford’s picture? When did this happen? I must have missed that meeting. Unless you didn’t literally mean literally, but only figuratively meant literally. If you figuratively said that we literally pissed on his picture that would make sense.

Or not.

(steals peek at watch, yawns…

…notices looming news camera…

…sits up, murmurs to colleague, joins in perfunctory applause)

Do we get to vote on this? 'Cause I vote for caring what Scylla says.

Delta-9, literally means literally. A picture of Jim Jeffords was found in the urinal of the Senate, IIRC, bathroom, the next week after his defection.**

I wonder if Ace is cribbing from James Joyce? Certainly, the disjonted, hallucinatory nature of his prose is reminiscent of the intricate wordplay in Finnegan’s Wake. And what of Ace’s blatant plagiarism of Joyce’s style, as in Molly Bloom’s soliliquy at the end of Ulysses:

Compare it with

I so don’t mean to mess about, but I read that as…

"A picture of Jim Jeffords was found in the urinal of the Senate, IIRC, bathroom, the next week after his defecation.
:stuck_out_tongue:

You can tell someone has potty training on the brain, can’t you. That’s an awful long time for a pooh to remain in the toilet, isn’t it?