This is getting a lot of media attention online right now, and some people are talking about it like it’s something new. :dubious: No, it isn’t; only the buzzword is new (that I’m aware of), and it’s something that’s been going on as long as condoms have existed.
And it’s every bit as disgusting as women who lie about being on birth control. :mad:
The difference being that the vast majority of contraception used by women does not provide any protection against STDs. Men who don’t wear condoms are going in (as it were) in that important respect with their eyes open.
It’s non consensual sex, simple as that.
Considering who bears the brunt of the repercussions, and the risks beyond pregnancy of going without a condom, I think it’s considerably worse than a woman lying about most forms of birth control.
I thought stealthing was women taking condoms to use to impregnate themselves later. Coercive reproductive control, a form of domestic violence.
The fact that the wikipedia page for stealthing is only a week old makes me think it’s all just manufactured outrage over something that doesn’t really happen. The latest media nonsense.
I think they can both count as exceptionally shitty and forms of non-consensual sex by deception.
Agreed. There’s no excuse, no defense, and no justification possible for either behavior.
I’m also curious why this is suddenly a moral panic when it’s presumably been going on as long as there have been condoms. Is this a new trend barfed up from Reddit or 4chan or something?
Anyway, I hope we can all agree that removing a condom without your partner’s consent is reprehensible. I’m curious if it violates any laws though. Would it fall under sexual assault?
That’s my thought also. It’s a chronic problem. While it merits some attention so we can all agree it’s a very bad thing which should not be done, physical sexual violence remains a much larger problem.
Well,I can honestly say that the recent facebook viral ad was the first I’ve ever heard of it. Honestly, it never even occurred to me as something some guy might be both idiotic enough and selfish enough to do.
So yeah, it’s probably women realizing and warning each other.
Also, new generations of women coming into their sexual years might not have heard of it yet, so it’s important to keep sharing these things.
All depends, I took serious heat and had a violent breakup with an ex who started out telling me he was OK with condoms, and after a few weeks started heavily pushing me to let him go bare because he didn’t like how screwing felt in a condom … to the point where he slapped me across the face for refusing to let him go bare. Personally, I don’t think reducing the chance of STD or pregnancy for either of us was selfish. [Hey, I could have had an STD, just saying …] <shrug> I guarantee that if I had caught some guy stealthing me, I would probably have kneed him in the balls, thrown his clothing out the window [I preferred meeting my boyfriends in hotels rather than at either home, I tended to have roomies and I prefered not going to his place. I had the money at the time.] and left him stuck in a motel naked with no car keys unless he wanted to go out bare assed naked to rummage in the bushes for them. Then I would have waited a week and hit my GYN for STD testing and possible preg testing depending on my cycle [never clockwork dependable, very annoying. I was relieved when I had my tubes tied.]
Yeah, there is that.
Not new. I had a short-term gal throw me out of the bed and the relationship because the condom broke against the side of her thigh while we were getting warmed up. We both knew it, I didn’t try to hide it, but she went apeshit, accusing me of stealthing her (I don’t recall what verb she used, this was 25 years ago) etc.
A case of breaking the rule - never eat at a place called Mom’s, never play cards with a guy named Doc, and never lay down with someone crazier than you are.
Gay men also need to know about this. Just because we don’t hear about AIDS all that much doesn’t mean it’s gone (not to mention other STDs).
Another thing about it that I don’t get is going to the trouble of acquiring and putting on a condom, just to rip it off before it’s really, ahem, needed.
Nah. I drew the line at planking and owling.
I’m also struck by why this is such a big internet/social media story right now. Of course any given bad behavior that’s been around a long time (hard to see how this could not have been) might need more light shed on it time to time. But ‘stealthing’ shows up lately every day in news summaries, all of a sudden, kinda weird IMO.
Also seems to me if people don’t realize that other people they don’t really know can mess up their lives if let into their inner sphere, so to speak, that’s a generalized naivety which is hard to counter by just describing particular bad acts. And OTOH there could be generalized paranoia. Living your life well is a lot more complicated than just having enumerated for you specific ways other people could take advantage of you.
One night stands don’t have a reputation of people in committed, caring relationships.
Condoms reduce sensitivity; if one is close, that can be enough to take one over the edge.
I have personally never done such & don’t condone it, but c’mon, being shocked, shocked that someone might do such? That’s a level of naivete I’m not used to seeing on this board.
I don’t think someone who has one night stands is necessarily any more selfish that someone who doesn’t. I can see a person (the same person) doing that in one night stands and not in relationships, though, simply because he has less to lose with a one night stand and doesn’t care about the person he’s having sex with. Which falls under the “nice to you/mean to your waiter” umbrella, but more extreme.
I’m not shocked, but, excepting one famous person (Assange? - not sure), the only time I’ve actually heard of this before was the context of already abusive relationships.
I’ve hardly lived a sheltered life and this is the first time I’ve ever heard of it.
I agree.