Obviously this is going to be a favorite quotes thread. But that’s too simple for me, so I’d like to make it a game, the aim of which is to get to 150 points. You accumulate points by listing quotes from Lois & Peter’s evillest offspring. The rules are as follows:
Quotes must be dialogue FROM Stewie, not ABOUT Stewie. Dream sequences count.
Quotes are divided into four categories: Murderous or Menacing, Erotically Confused, Super-Villainous, and Simply Deluded.
Murderous or Menacing Quotes are just what the name implies. They’re worth are worth 1 point if Stewie is threatening Lois; 2 points if he’s threatening any other Griffin; 3 points if he’s threatening any other recurring character, and 4 points if he’s threatening a one-episode only character, and 5 points if he actually kills the person in question.
Erotically Confused quotes are worth 1 point if it’s a gay joke, 2 for straight, 3 for bestiality or other perversions. (Coming on to Brian counts as zoophilia, not homosexuality.)
Super-villainous quotes are worth 1 point if he’s discussion one of his improbable inventions, 1 point if he’s planning to conquer the world or any part of it, 2 if both.
Simply Deluded quotes are worth 1 point if he’s talking to Rupert as if Rupert were alive, 2 points he’s doing anything else that indicates he needs to up his meds.
No points if someone else has already posted your entry.
You can double your score for a given quote if it qualifies in two categories at once; triple it for three; and quadruple it in all four.
Hypothetical example: Stewie threatens to shoot Marilyn Monroe into the sun because once she’s out of the way, he’ll be able to seduce & marry Brian. That would be worth 4 points for the threat, 3 for bestiality, 1 for the super-villainy, and 2 for delusion, for a total of 10; and, because it qualifies in all categories, the poster would get 40 points. Unless, of course, someone else had already used it, in which case you get bupkis.
“Damn you, damn the broccoli, and damn the Wright Brothers!”
1 point if Stewie is threatening Lois, 2 points he’s doing anything else that indicates he needs to up his meds = 3 points, I believe. Not worth a lot, but it’s my favorite. (Broccoli-colored smiley: :D)
So I got 1 for Rupert, and 1 for a gay reference, so we have 2, double that for being in two categories and I gots myself 4 points! (Unless Rupert counts as bestiality, since he’s a bear? In that case it would be 8 points.)
And I assume that in the interest of fair play each of us only posts one quote every so often? I mean, I could spam this whole thread with about a billion of 'em and no one would be able to touch my score.
"There’s always been a lot of tension between Lois and me, and it’s not so much that I want to kill her, it’s just I want her not to be alive anymore. Ah, I sometimes wonder if all women are this difficult, and then I think to myself: My God, wouldn’t it be marvelous if I turned out to be a homosexual? "
1 point for threatening Lois, 1 for gayness, and double the points for two categories: 4.
To the airport security guard while trying to raise an army: “You’re one of them, aren’t you? What are they paying you? I’ll double it. I’ll give you whatever you want! Money! Women! Men?”
Murderous or menacing to a one-episode character: 4 points
Erotically confused, gay and straight: 3 points
Planning to conquer the world: 1 point
I’m not sure I see the murderous part here. But he’s probably delusional here, in that he’s offering to pay off the guard (or maybe not; he must have SOME way of buying mad scientist supplies). So either you get 2 points for delusional, 3 for erotically confused, and 1 for plotting the world, adding upto six (and then tripled to 18)–or you should get an extra two points to your subtotal above, and then quadrupled, giving you 40.
What do you think, crew? Are there terroristic threats in **Robot Arm’s ** quote?
