Stood Up

The BBQ Pit
1

I find myself in need of a little advice. Don’t ask me why I’m looking here because I don’t rightly know.

Last night my girlfriend stood me up at the airport. I was supposed to pick her up from a 10 PM shuttle flight. I had been hoping to hit the sack early to rest up for the brutal week I’m looking at. But what the hell, duty calls

Through no fault of hers I stayed up half of Saturday night, fell asleep on my truck (on purpose, I was camping so take that back), and woke at dawn with the sun in my face and a medium duty hangover. Shake it off, we got some hiking to do. Hiked half the day, then home for a rapid clean up and over to a friend’s place for a birthday party. I cut out from there a bit early to get to the airport on time.

For once I was 15 minutes early. 10 PM and her flight came and went, no girlfriend. At 10:15 I called her cell phone which she always keeps handy. No answer, left a message. Left another one at 10:30 and again at 10:45. Finally at 11:00 I figured I either missed her or she missed the flight. I called to leave one more message before I cut out for home, telling her to page me out of bed if there was trouble.

Imagine my surprise when she answered and was already home. She said she got cut loose early and caught an early flight. That put her on standby, so she didn’t know until the last second if she was going to get the flight. That’s why she didn’t leave a message at the house, which I would have gotten on my fly-by. She flew a 737 which I believe has phones on it, but didn’t bother to call. By then she probably would have missed me anyway. The battery in her cell phone died which is why I got no answer the first three tries. I forgot to grab my pager before I headed out for the evening so there was no other way for her to get in touch. When I got home I found her kicking back and nattering with her pesky sister. She apologized but sounded pretty casual about the whole thing. I said goodnight without chatting and hit the sack right around midnight.

So I spent over an hour (plus parking fees and the usual airport hassles) wandering around the airport looking for someone who was already relaxing at home. I can’t say I was particulary worried, she is a big girl and an accomplished globe trotter. But I was somewhat concerned, I was also hot, sweaty, crabby, really beat, and still slightly hung over. This morning I had an early meeting and traffic was extra ugly, so now I’m even more crabby because I’ve been fighting a nap attack all afternoon. I knew that my judgement last night wasn’t up to par, so I didn’t rip a strip off her at the time.

But tonight we are going to have a little talk about shafting good old speakeasy. My initial reaction is to tell her she can take the goddam airporter from here on out even if I’m on the same fucking flight. But OTOClaw, I’m wondering what else she should have done? The only options I can think of are either to lay over the 4 extra hours so she could stick with the original flight plan, or drive an hour round trip to the airport so she could clue me in. She just spent 4 days pulling double shifts just days after being sick, so I’m sure she was dead tired too. But then if I was all that stinking tired I wouldn’t be sitting there yapping at my sister at midnight, I’d be sawing logs. I’m not too sure that either option is reasonable, but I damn sure know I’m not delighted about being hung out to dry. This is a first offense, but I’ve already hacked off her twit sister for this very thing. I can’t decide if it is reasonable to go with my first impulse and burn her down for this. What would you do?

2

I’d have a “talk” with her, but I’d keep the big picture in mind. Is this a one-shot type of inconvenience, or is it just another example of her taking you for granted?

Mistakes can be made, and communications aren’t always reliable. Since you’ve gotten so upset about it, I gather this isn’t the first case she’s left you high and dry.

If it’s a consistent thing - her taking you for granted - I’d think long and hard before the talk. If not, just roll with it. Besides, not all planes have phones, and those that do… well, they don’t always work and cost an arm and a leg.

Inconsiderate, yes. Relationship breaker, no.

3

Well, about a year ago, she did have a short lived streak of standing me up for things like concerts and baseball games. But I put a quick stop to that by taking somebody else with the extra tickets. Now she knows she’s not obligated to be an arm peice but DO NOT back out hours before for no particular reason, stiff me for the tickets, and then act like it’s no biggie.

But we squared all that up months ago. No, my nightmare is her sister. This individual is without a doubt the most self centered, thoughtless individual I’ve had to deal with in quite awhile. She’ll casually shit on your head one night and then show up with ice cream the next and think that fixes everything. She goes through money and men faster and with less to show for it than I’ve ever seen. They’ve been hanging out together a lot more lately and my nightmare is it might be rubbing off. Argle!

4

I had to laugh at this line, you sound just like my DH. He hates when me & my sisters get together and start yapping.

I think the whole situation was a snafu. It doesn’t seem like she blew you off on purpose. It seems to me that you’re really upset about the fact she didn’t make a fuss of you when you got home. If you were my bf I would at least commiserated and thanked you for the effort, maybe even given you a backrub & a cuddle. From your two posts I get the feeling she isn’t the most empathic person. Maybe you need to tell her you need more from her. JMHO.

5

Hmmm, I think you may be onto something there. The other half is not what you’d call a typical chick; more like tuff gong. I have come to expect about 0% sympathy from her. And that’s usually OK, keeps me from whining too much anyway. But I did expect a sincere apology, and what I got was more of a casual explanation.

I guess the deal was, we meet at this place at this time unless there is a good reason, and I’m flexible. But changing the plan for convenience with no warning kinda chaps my hide. Let ME try that, oh lordy…

But then I wouldn’t have done it myself. Being the throwback I am, I’d have dragged my ass to the airport to call her off rather than leave her standing around half the night.

Allright. She gets a good strafing but I’ll turn back the Inola Gay.

6

If you’re comfortable with it, speakeasy, I’d show her this thread.

7

Oooh, ballsy maneuver. I might have to trim a few comments about her sister tho. I’ve been trying to soft pedal that one.

I have to keep in mind I’ll be looking at her over the Thanksgiving table again. And she likes to drink at Thanksgiving.

But other than that, maybe not a bad idea. Thanx!