I agree with the other posters who are telling you that living with your folks - at your age with your type of debt - is not the horrible thing you make it out to be.
It doesn’t sound like you have horrible, nasty parents or even a bad relationship with them. Sounds like you have a very bad attitude about living with your folks. Your biggest problem right now is needing money to pay off your loans and get on with your life. The absolute best way to be able to save that money is to find somewhere to live for free.
You HAVE to have a good attitude about living with your parents. You need to see it as a job, like someone else said. Imagine you are being PAID $[rent money]/mo to live there because you are. If your supervisor [mom] asks you what your plans are, be honest yet vague. If you plan on going out for the night, ask if there are any jobs you’ll be asked to do the next day. If you decide to stay out until 3 and dad wants you digging weeds at 9, just do it and catch a nap later. Anticipate jobs so they fit into YOUR schedule - “Oh I see you have a shopping list, I’ll take care of it Wednesday is that ok?” Become a productive adult member of a household, don’t keep living as a moochy kid.
My parents and brother and I all lived quite happily under one roof until I was 25 and bro was 27. We worked as roommates. I did what I was asked and was grateful for the free ride. If they had rules that wouldn’t budge, I acquiesced to them because it was their house. For the most part, they let me be. It involves a lot of respect. As an adult living with parents, you learn a lot of responsibility that transfers to taking care of your own home and dealing with “bosses” that transfers to being in a real workplace.
If you want to be a free spirit like even sven then you have to commit to that like she did. Or, you can commit to making the best of the situation of living at home. You really can’t be both. You can definitely be happy taking either path, though.
When I got of college in the early 1990s, the economy was in a similar state, and I ended up doing a lot of substitute teaching. It’s a great temporary option for someone with a college degree and few other obvious options. It’s temporary, the pay’s not bad, and you can work as little or as much as you want. It can also help you figure out what you want to do with your life. I realized that I didn’t like working with children or being under the thumb of principals, but I did like teaching. So I ended up going back to school, and now I teach at the college level.
Babe, you’re twenty two. You’re not going to die any time soon (probably). When you’re fifty, do you really think you’re going to give a crap about any of this?
If you genuinely think so, think about some tests at school you failed when you were seven. Still give a crap about em?
It’s pretty much the same. I hope this puts things into perspective for you. Just learn from the experience
$40,000 in student loans and you still don’t know where to put apostrophes and also could use some brushing up on the use of the subjunctive.
(Hey, it’s the Pit! Good luck with the job hunt! I’m starting a contract tomorrow that could last as long as a year, or as little as two weeks. It’s a nervous time. We’ll get through it though.)
Graduated in 2001. Got the useless degree (Film Production). Moved to LA to work in Hollywood. Spent all my savings moving out there and living there for four months. No one could get work after September 11th and I hated the movie business.
Moved back in with my parents. Hated it. My parents are AWESOME, and I hated it. Felt like the biggest fuckup ever. So, I got a crappy job at a bookstore making $6.00 an hour. Moved in with old roommates. Happier living with roomies in a crappy college apartment eating ramen than I was living without care or responsibility at my parents house.
Met a boy. Things started getting better, slowly. Worked super crappy jobs for several years. Decided to get the hell out of Kansas and moved up here after getting married. Less than 3 years after moving to Portland have a great job, (in 8 weeks i will have) my second degree, bought a house, going to buy a fucking motorcycle. Paid off my car, my credit cards, my husband’s bankruptcy debt.
I’m 30. So, in 8 years, I went from making $6.00/hour part time at a college bookstore to making a living wage, living in a great house in a fantastic town.
Seriously, it will be okay. It will suck for a very long time. Remember to make your days about having a good time (even if it’s just playing jenga with your parents) and not about money.
I agree with others, you’ll be fine. I couldn’t find a decent full-time job when I graduated college. I think a lot of people go through a slump after college, actually- I guess we just assume we’ll get a job right out of school but obviously it doesn’t always happen.
I juggled two part-time jobs out of college. Continued to live with my parents for about a year, saving up money then moved out. Back in 2007 I got a job through a landlord driving buses.
Yeah, not exactly what I went to school for, but you know what? I love it. Its easy, it pays great, has great benefits, and I get a lot of respect from my coworkers for having a college degree (though to their credit, half the bus drivers here have degrees or transitioned from reputable careers ie law, engineering, etc)
Now, its possible I might get laid off :smack: but you know what? I’m trying not to panic, I’m trying to look on the bright side of life. And here’s another piece of advice I have for you: Even though your situation is pretty shitty, you have a lot of freedom to do pretty much whatever you want. The ironic thing about having a good, stable life is there are all these things tying you down as far as location, employment, etc.
Honest to god, I’m desperate enough that it’s crossed my mind. The only branch I’d be willing to join (morally speaking, I’m a goddamn dirty hippie) is the Coast Guard, which is the one branch that does not offer any sort of loan repayment program, and has precisely no jobs which are remotely relevant to what I would like to go into. And even if I did want to join, I’m pretty sure I’m not tall enough, my eyes are too bad, and I’m not quite straight enough. So the last refuge of the desperate is not an option.
You may know how screwed you are, but I’ll still tell you not to worry. Because worrying doesn’t help anything. I know, I know, most useless and hypocritical advice ever. But it needed to be said.
I don’t think you did a degree in Liberal Arts or took four years of math because you’re stupid. I think you enjoyed them (or, in the case of math, enjoyed the challenge). I suspect your priorities when making these choices were different when they are now, but that doesn’t make you stupid.
I did a degree a liberal arts topic and went to grad school. I’m a year or two away from getting my PhD and being pretty much exactly where you are although, thankfully, without the debt. It sure is going to be depressing going into a job market where, at the best of times, it’s almost impossible to get a job, much less a good one. Maybe then I’ll regret what my priorities are now, but I can’t bring myself to regret the good of the last eight years and how my mind has changed and improved.
Good point. I understand the appeal of freaking out and insisting that no, it’s not going to be okay, and that everyone else is being way too optimistic, etc. After all, it justifies the fear you’re feeling and makes you feel better about not looking tough, logical solutions straight in the eye and really researching them.
I’m speaking from experience. I went to grad school because I couldn’t think of anything better to do - in reality, I probably didn’t want to admit that I could think about other options, buckle down, live poor, and work. I fortunately abandoned that only two years in, but I was still being fearful enough that I made some screwed-up financial decisions.
Look into what people are telling you about the repayment options here, and how no, you are not automatically going to destroy your credit and lose your immortal soul and so on. Saying that you’ve considered and rejected the military is pretty much the least you can do. It’s time to work despite the fear.
I’m applying for every job I can find (need to call someone to schedule an interview in fact), even ones I have no chance in hell of getting, even ones I’m unqualified for. I’ve spent the past couple months working on my resume, so that’s fine. My loans have already been consolidated, and I’m looking at payment plans, but one way or another I’m going to have to start making monthly payments. I am in the process of registering with every temp agency in town, but that’s complicated by the fact that I’m not available for a month and I need to work around my current work and class schedule for their various ‘office skills’ tests.
And if that doesn’t work out, I’m not too proud to actually ask for a loan forbearance/ask my parents for money/move back in with them, though obviously I’m going to exhaust my options before then. I’m not running around frantically like a freshly-beheaded chicken, which is part of my desperation - I’m doing the right things, but still don’t have a job.
The way I look at it, if the parents truly agree with you about how hopeless you are - or indeed, reinforced that idea as you were growing up - then they kind of owe you material support. Because they sure didn’t teach you the self-worth to go and make your own.
Mmmm…no. No one owes you material support just because you suck at life. Maybe living on your own would actually give you some confidence and validation?
But did you call all of the local school districts and ask about subbing? Seriously, you can make good money doing that, work it around your busy schedule, etc. Yes, summer is coming up, but there may be some year round schools. Do you do any sports? Call up some private schools and ask if they need summer school coaches.
