Stop using "we" when you mean "you."

[DudleyGarrett]

@Puzzler

I call BS.
As a client, when I call a company, I don’t give a damn who actually fixed the problem, as long as it was fixed. I realize that the person I’m speaking to didn’t solve the problem all on her own, but I really don’t care. That manager has subordinates to do the “dirty” work for her. Her job, for that matter, is to interact with me, buffering the rest of the company.
For that matter, unless I specifically ask, I don’t want to know the background info on what was done to solve the problem. Usually I will not understand it, and wouldn’t care either way. Tell me if I ask, shut up about it otherwise.

And for the record, I am an engineer. In addition to being a client, I have also worked both as the technical expert and as the manager. As an engineer, I totally except it’s the manager’s role to interact with the non-technical outside world, unless I was asked to participate.

Thanks for adding nothing to the conversation that hasn’t already been said.

Perhaps you don’t realize that I speak to clients directly as well? Perhaps you don’t realize that, just because they’re a manager, doesn’t mean that they necessarily interact with clients?

I’ve been in situations where I’ve spoken to clients and was able to convey in a succinct manner that the problem was resolved even though I didn’t do it. I believe taking credit for someone else’s hard work shows lack of character.

Now, when done in a one-on-one conversation, it may be different. Maybe in your case it was condescending. But in my experience, it was usually done to convey partnership, as in “I know you’re the one working on it days and nights, while I am doing other things, but I still acknowledge that the problem is not just yours, but rather the whole department’s / company’s”.

At no point in this entire thread was the tone ever one of “conveying partnership.” In fact, your tone in the above paragraph is condescending and your ideas are frankly, naive. There IS NO PARTNERSHIP between subordinate and manager. It’s just a bullshit tactic to get the subordinate to work harder and faster – it’s just another form of the “attaboy.” Small instances of positive reinforcement go a long way.

[DudleyGarrett]

@meara

Is it possible that the manager just doesn’t want to imply that it is YOUR problem and YOU need to fix it personally? By using “we”, he’s giving you an easy out to say, “I’m busy on something else, but Joe over there is looking into it.”

Considering the problem eventually found it’s way to me, and I’m the only one like me in my firm, that’s out.

[Baldwin]

@Vinyl Turnip

If I were your manager and you pulled that shit with me, pretty soon you’d likely be hearing “we’re fired.”

By “that shit”, do you mean, “talking to somebody like you’re both professional adults, not a master and a slave”? I’ve never understood the idea that, because one employee’s job is a management job, other employees with non-management jobs should talk to him with deference. Fuck that; you’re co-workers in the same company. Supervisory authority doesn’t give you the right to punish underlings for daring to speak frankly. Nor would you have the inclination, unless you’re a pissy little bitch.

My dad used to say “Who’s ‘we’; you got a mouse in your pocket?” So one time I made sure I actually had a mouse in my pocket; made my whole day.

[Gary_Kumquat]

@DudleyGarrett

There IS NO PARTNERSHIP between subordinate and manager. It’s just a bullshit tactic to get the subordinate to work harder and faster – it’s just another form of the “attaboy.” Small instances of positive reinforcement go a long way.

You know, the more you write about your work beliefs, the sorrier I feel for the poor shmuck manager who has to deal with you. There is no partnership in the workplace, the misuse of a pronoun is clear proof that he’s trying to take credit for your work…

[Puzzler]

@DudleyGarrett

In fact, your tone in the above paragraph is condescending

If you think what I said was condescending, I suggest growing a thicker skin may be called for.

and your ideas are frankly, naive. There IS NO PARTNERSHIP between subordinate and manager. It’s just a bullshit tactic to get the subordinate to work harder and faster – it’s just another form of the “attaboy.” Small instances of positive reinforcement go a long way.

And if you really feel that there is no partership between yourself and your boss, that you are not on the same side I suggest changing your workplace.

[DudleyGarrett]

@Puzzler

If you think what I said was condescending, I suggest growing a thicker skin may be called for.
And if you really feel that there is no partership between yourself and your boss, that you are not on the same side I suggest changing your workplace.

plz read entire thrd - kthxbye

[Gary_Kumquat]

@Baldwin

Fuck that; you’re co-workers in the same company. Supervisory authority doesn’t give you the right to punish underlings for daring to speak frankly. Nor would you have the inclination, unless you’re a pissy little bitch.

And being a co-worker doesn’t mean you should launch into some passive-aggressive nonsense about the use of pronouns being some sort of workplace slight. Nor would you have the inclination, unless you’re carrying some strange chip on your shoulder. Shit, I hate smilies and the use of text abbreviations in emails. Should I start accusing colleagues of being idiots or of some other shit?

Honestly, if the biggest issue you have with a colleague is you don’t like his choice of pronouns can I suggest that they might not be that bad a person? If the guy tries to shaft you over, fair cop - the guy is clearly a dick. But if really all you’re whining about is he uses “we” and you’d prefer he used “you”, then storm in a teacup. Fuck, I’m just glad for Dudley’s colleagues that English doesn’t have formal and informal pronouns like French (formal you - vous, informal - tu). Lord help them if they’d addressed him informally, when he answers only to the CIO, etc.

[Miller]

@Baldwin

By “that shit”, do you mean, “talking to somebody like you’re both professional adults, not a master and a slave”?

Is that where this usage comes from? Did it get a lot of play back on the plantation? I’m trying to picture an overseer saying, “So, Kunte Kinte, where are we on the cotton picking today?” and somehow, I just can’t quite see it.