That’s the big secret? Everybody uses that line. But if it’s been 95% successful, keep at it.
60% of the time it works every time.
What, having been on the History Channel doesn’t get you chicks?
So not only do I have no game, now I’m messin’ up yours too? I think I’ll go live in a cave.
No, you weren’t messing up my game at all. At first I thought I wouldn’t talk to her at all, but as we were leaving I realized I couldn’t get out of there without at least saying hi to her.
I’m glad I did, but I wasn’t going to leave you hanging. What kind of friend would I be if I did?
Being on The History Channel is not the Chick Magnet it’s made out to be.
You have to be mysterious.
CalMeacham “You know of those cable channels, like the Spice or Playboy channel?”
Chick you wish to Magnetize: “Why yes, yes I do.”
CalMeacham: “Wanna know which one I was on and why?”
Or “We could go make some history for a future episode.”
And “I repeat, often.”
True, but banging on the History Channel is a whole other story.
I can’t believe I’m actually admitting this but here it goes:
At a bar I once walked up to two women and said: “How would you girls like me to fuck you up the ass?”
It didn’t happen that night but about two months later I wound up in the sack with one of those girls. Me being a deliberate asshole is what broke the ice leading to our friendship that eventually led to sexy time.
I would have totally understood.
Or you could have waited for me to come back. She probably wasn’t there alone.
He was a librarian and when I saw his pic online I sent him an email saying, “you are so cute I’d like to check you out like a Harry Potter novel.”
He pointed out that check outs only last 3 weeks and he was looking for something a little more long term. So I asked him on a date instead.
Prior to the date, we flirted using the Dewey Decimal system. (If you were a book, I’d look for you in the 800s because you’re a work of art . . .) (before you ask, that was MY line).
Our first date was 3 days later, lasted 23 hours, and involved a 12-pack of condoms.
And yes, we are still together . . .
That would totally work on me. Not that I would let some stranger who walked up to me in a bar fuck me up the ass…well, not then and there, anyway. But I would be more than willing to talk to any guy who had the cojones to walk up to me and say such a thing.
Aw, I figured that was the trick. The only lines I’ve used successfully were designed to make the other person curious about what I was going to say.
Can I be the first to ask for the name of your favorite bar?
I’ll be the one with flowers for you, tulips.
Dude. If some guy said that to me while holding a bunch of tulips (of all things), I’d just laugh at him.
Guys who would go up to women in bars and ask them if they can fuck 'em in the ass would carry chrysanthemums stolen from the planters in front of the bar.
(Or whatever the heck they put in planters in Arizona. Come to think of it, a guy who was carrying around a bunch of ocotillo would look totally badass.)
Awww Big Red (memories of your photo), did you just woosh me by pretending not to catch “tulips = two lips”?
It’d be more phallic and in keeping with my intention if I presented a
saguaro cactus or an organ pipe cactus.
She was indeed there with a cute friend. There was just nowhere to sit.
Eh, so what? Next time I’ll stay in!
In college once, I found myself sitting at a long table next to a gorgeous girl who was there with a lot of her friends. It was crowded, we kept kind of bumping into each other, made eye contact a few times, smiled, etc… More than once I got all set to say something to introduce myself and (no shit) chickened out. I was literally speechless at how pretty she was. Finally, one time I turned towards my drink to grab it, and she took my hand, put her other hand behind my neck, pulled closer and gave me the nicest, softest, slowest kiss ever.
Then she said: (more or less, it’s been 30 years) “Hi, I’m Lindsey. Last week I broke up with the only guy I’d dated since I was 14. He says I’m a controlling selfish bitch, and he’s probably right, I can be. I think it’s a man’s job to be the man, and mine to make him glad to be the man. It’s been 9 days since I’ve been laid, and I have to warn you, the very next time I get some it’s going to be all about making Lindsey happy first so if you think you want to make out, cop a feel get your rocks off and leave, you should find someone else tonight. On the other hand, if you can rock my world, then you’ll be the happiest man in town by morning.”
I grabbed her, kissed her back and we spent the next 20 minutes snogging there before she dragged me to her place, where I made good on my end of the bargain, and she on hers. She was the first girl I was ever with that had a tattoo - a rose and her name right on her hip bone.
Everybody knows somebody who knows this guy
There’s an essence of truth to the cliché, though. Social constructs aside, plenty of girls like getting laid and are usually appreciative of a guy being honest about his intentions. Rather that than being a pussy about it, it’s usually pretty obvious anyway.
My pick-up line? “Hi there!”
Usually works pretty darn well.
The trick is to use it on the first girl you see when you enter the room. If she doesn’t catch your eye, make her. Subjective opinions of “The Game” aside, the three second rule and peacocking are two essential nuggets from that book.