That’s the one. It’s just… gross.
This one has always driven me crazy, too. I took it to mean that if just one person finally enlists, everyone else is off the hook! Which isn’t what the Army wanted at all at the time. A truly stupid slogan.
“Do you smell that smell? Do you? Because it means I love you.”
How’d I do?
-Joe
Just now saw a TV ad that had me giggling.
The company wanted to emphasize that they help people achieve their dreams and possibilities, so it had different people walking around with the words “I’m a…” superimposed over them.
The company’s name is DIC.
My company Nextel cell phone when powered on says:
“Do.”
And when you power it off it says:
“Doing.”
“Done.”
“Nextel.Done.”
WTF does that even mean?
What’s in my wallet? Certainly nothing that will screw up my credit rating by not reporting the limit! I screw up my credit rating just fine on my own, thank you very much.
Jewellers seem to be featuring a lot… a local jeweller has the slogan “Where quality is your own reward”. It just doesn’t sound right.
When you combine that with that horrible Jon Mellencamp song “This is our country”… set to a commercial that only has white people in it, it seems even worse.
My vote has to go to the USAF’s “peace is our profession”. I always want to append “…but blowing shit up is our passion” to it.
I’m sure I’ve seen trucks from Fluke Transport here in Ontario with the slogan, “If it’s on time, it’s a Fluke”.
We often use Fluke Instruments multimeters at work, and of course the standard remark was, “If it works, it’s a Fluke!”
(Two separate companies, by the way.)
I knew my first choices would be taken when I opened the thread, but to recap…
What can brown do for you.
He went to Jareds.
Army of one.
“Go away! ‘Batin’.”
There’s a basement repair company in St. Louis called “The Crack Team”. Their slogan is “A Dry Crack is a Happy Crack” (uttered by their mascot, Mr. Happy Crack).
Besides the scatological implication of the slogan, I always think: isn’t the point to have no crack? Isn’t that what repairing the crack is all about?
Long Beach police department used to have stickers that said, “Our cops are tops.”
In a gay community, not the best slogan!
Winner! 
…supplanted by “ARMYSTRONG”?
I was wondering what the Army’s pitchmen were thinking-you go from an army of one to:headstrong (no), allwrong (nope), long gone (nope)…that’s it! “armystrong”!!
There was a hardware supply company in Indiana that had the slogan “House Of A Million Screws”. Eric Burdon recorded a jingle for them.
Alright, I’m kidding about the last part.
In the realm of dumb promos, the Subway I often get lunch at has a sign saying that if you “take one bite of a sandwich and are not completely satisfied, return the uneaten portion for a refund.”
Who’s gonna be “completely satisfied” after one bite of a sandwich? What am I, a gerbil??
And what if you take two bites before you discover the fact that your sandwich is unsatisfying? What then???
Worse than bad slogans are local ads put to bad music, badly sung, with no melody, and no words that rhyme. “Youuuuuuuuuu should really buyyyyyyyyyy your carrrrrrrrrrrr here because we sell really good carrrrrrrrrrrrrs, better than that guy across the streeeeeeet”. (Not an actual ad but close.)
If all you have to say is “MediCap Pharmacy, we always make time for you”, you don’t have to sing it.
Is the refund prorated? “Well sir, I see you’ve eaten 7% of your sandwich. The original price of your sandwich was $6.35; your refund is $5.91.”
Sherman-Williams “Cover the earth” bothers me a lot. Particularly since it goes along with someone pouring a giant can of paint out and, well, covering the earth.
Gross.