Totally agree. Whenever I see one of those I think to myself “If Hitler (or Dr. Evil) ran a paint company, that’s totally the logo they would use.”
-Joe
It is like they are specifically targeting disturbed loners.
How about local ad campaigns that are built on puns? Don Beyer Volvo is notorious for this, their hardware-themed radio spots were particularly annoying; I had to drop my headphones whenever one started.
On the subject of annyong local car ads, a few years ago there was a Cadillac-sponsored DC Grand Prix in one of RFK’s parking lots. I was sure glad it was over because it meant I wouldn’t have to listen to Cadillac’s moronic ads. I know I posted about this at the time but it seems to have been purged. Anyway, the tagline was something like “Grand Prix: French for ‘Cadillac’.”
I forget the name, but there’s a store on the corner of Lomas and Carlisle in Albuquerque that appears to be some kind of gift shop with a sign that says, “We have no common scents.”
One pun isn’t so bad. I meant a whole series of them in every commercial, like these. (Un?)fortunately, they don’t have the Hardware one.
“'Cause you’re killing me, Larry!”
I fucking hate that one.
MyBad, thanks
Well if you had just put a tracking collar on her, you’d know where she is! 
Adding to the diamond-hate, if anyone ever says “He went to Jared!” around me, I’m gonna have to start slapping people. With knives.
If anybody ever buys me anything from Jared, I will know to immediately kill them. All jewelry ads piss me off, but for some reason, theirs are the worst of a bad lot.
Does it help to know that ASUS is a Chinese company?
They are roundly considered the Wal-Mart of the paint business to us smaller companies dealing in paint. They have an interesting game plan when it comes to dealing with the “little guys” - the mom and pop shops, the small-to-medium sized paint companies - in which they try to drive them all out of business. The plan is called “GBMF”, or, “Good Bye My Friend”. clears throat Yeah. Right.
Melonballers.
From the online game City of Heroes/Villains, “Poor for living ? Bored on the levelling way ?”; and the other irritating, against-the-rules and borderline incoherent advertisements offering powerleveling and in-game money for real world money. Largely silenced for the moment, fortunately.
It always gave me a kind of Borg vibe, actually. Or demonic, “Call us many, for we are Legion !”, except I’d think it hard to aim with your head spinning.
Yup; lots of jokes about that. “Army STRONG ! Army SMASH puny cape man !”
On a recent trip to my hometown, I saw vans for a particular florist inscribed with the rather menacing phrase “That can be arranged.”
Yeah Im aware, does it make sense in mandarin or taiwaneese?
Its not the “usual” engrish, the words do make some sort of sense.
I just believe that something involving both rocks and heart is probably a kind of service, not a product.
ChiWow her! from the International Diamond Center. Thing is, they only use the billboard in areas with very high Hispanic populations, which strikes both Acid Lamp and I as a little offensive and VERY annoying. It represents a lot of the “I want to be a Yuppie but I don’t have the money” culture that I really don’t agree with.
Edit: What makes it especially obnoxious is that these ads are on the radio as well, and they make no sense until you see the billboard.
There’s a great movie called Last Night that follows several characters around Toronto on what everyone is resigned to being the day the world ends. One of these characters is an executive at the gas company, who spends all of his time up the the very end serially telephoning every client the utility has, letting them know that they are a valued customer and reassuring them that even at the end, the gas company will be there for them.
Reminds me of that.
I haven’t got any annoying slogans that I haven’t complained about here 10,000 times. Okay: “If It Matters In Your World, It’s News To Us.” BCTV. Somebody didn’t think that through.
Not a slogan, but more irritating than there are words for: Sun Chips HARVEST CHEDDAR. Harvest fucking cheddar. Fresh from the g.d. cheese harvest. No fucking way can I be compelled to eat cheese that is harvested. “Oooh, look what I found growing on the roots of the old oak tree, where Sally spilled the milk in the spring!”
For mother’s day, the Hallmark store put up posters advising you to “Rock your mom.” Um, no thanks.
The new McDonalds commercials on Nickelodian (sic) tout their happy meals as “an excellent source of happiness”.
What? That doesn’t even make any sense!!?!
We have a local septic-tank service, and the trucks read “We’re #1 in the #2 business”. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry…