Then there’s this look. The Off the Shoulder Maternity Wedding Dress.
<Thelma is puzzled>
I’m frankly surprised so many agree with me. Often I start topics that I think are bland and boring and that most people will agree with and get hit with flamethrowers right out of the gate (excuse the mixed metaphor). I thought surely this one would have me hanged in effigy pretty quickly accompanied by comments like, *“Who are you to judge? A bride can wear whatever she damn well pleases! Get out of the dark ages! Don’t be such a prude!”
*
On other threads, I have been all but burned at the stake for suggesting it was a sign of respect for a man to hold the door for a woman or a sign of intelligence if a bicyclist avoided dangerous roads with heavy traffic. But criticizing brides who wear strapless gowns has gotten mostly agreement?
I must go lie down until my picadillo is done.
I don’t like strapless dresses for all the reasons mentioned, but I certainly can’t tell other people what they should wear. I keep my opinions of, “Oh, that’s a bit unfortunate - she wore what every other bride in the world wears instead of picking out something that looked good on HER,” to myself. 
For example, Queen Elizabeth II in the 1950s:
Strapless or spaghetti strap or bare shoulder with upper arm band – it can be good or bad, depending on the cut of the dress and the ability of the person to wear it. A lot of people are fish out of water when it comes to wearing formal attire.
I don’t keep comments like that to myself–I tell my mother, because she loves that shit. 
But seriously, what a bride wears on her wedding day should only actually matter to her and the groom (or other bride, I don’t judge :)). Whether it’s a plastic mini-dress and go-go boots (which my friend’s mom actually did wear on her wedding day in 1973) or a burlap sack with holes cut in it for her head and arms, it’s her choice.
I don’t find strapless dresses immodest–they’ve been around for decades, and I’ve got one or two that are more modest than what you see in a 1950’s prom picture. I’ll admit that I’m overweight and I’ve got a giant rack, but if I’m going to buy a strapless dress it’s going to be one that holds me up, holds me in, and isn’t going to fall down. Admittedly, I often wear a jacket or shrug with it because I don’t like my big fat batwing arms, but I love me a strapless dress.
Though probably not for my wedding, because I hear people don’t like fat brides in strapless gowns. 
I grew up Catholic - shoulders MUST be covered on a gown in church. So I’m shocked at a church wedding when the bride has uncovered shoulders.
Now, you can get away with that in a few ways - you can wear a strapless gown with a shrug or jacket or shawl. Then, at the reception you can be strapless.
If you aren’t getting married in a church, then wear whatever you want. A strapless gown at a hotel wedding, or a house wedding, or a Vegas chapel or in the middle of the meadow - go for it. Or if your house of worship is more casual you can wear what you want (I’m shocked to see a strapless gown in a Catholic church - although I think most priests have given up on enforcing it (if I were a priest, I’d have a white lace shawl to drape over people for the service and say "sorry, if you are getting married today, you are covering those shoulders during the service) - my spiritual home now is a UU church - yeah, whatever).
It isn’t about the virginity of the bride, its about respecting the customs of the faith you are choosing to be married in. Don’t want to cover your shoulders - get married in a courthouse or a more liberal church.
So much for Jackie Kennedy’s church wedding:
http://www.jfklibrary.org/~/media/assets/Audiovisual/Still%20Photographs/PX%20Photo%20Accessions/PX%2081-32-61.jpg
I don’t hate them for modesty reasons - I don’t see anything immodest about one’s shoulders - but because they’re ugly on most people. Back fat, people. Upper muffin. No.
ETA- I’m sure most brides wear them because it’s next to impossible to find anything else. When I went shopping for dresses just last year the dress people all tried to get me into a strapless dress and tried to tell me they could add sleeves - uh, yeah, but it’s still constructed like a strapless dress and it’s going to look like one you added sleeves to. Plus the ones that weren’t strapless tended to be the more interesting different-looking dresses anyway. I finally ended up with a dress with lace sleeves but it was not easy and I was very lucky - most of the other sleeved options were out of a lot of people’s price range.
How much do you want to bet that inside the church those little cap sleeves were pulled up to cover her shoulders - at least when she started walking down the aisle, if not for the entire wedding… There doesn’t have to be MUCH coverage, but there has to be coverage. i.e. not strapless and it has to have more than straps.
well this will be off topic
but I don’t jump into a lot of threads because what I had to say was already said
but I think it’s nice when a man holds a door for me but it’s not necessary but I think men should show a little more of the old-fashioned manners when it’s a special occasion
and I agree that bicyclists should use some common sense about where they ride, just because you can doesn’t mean you should
now back to topic
It is my understanding (and I could be wrong) that the white dress is to symbolize happiness and the veil symbolizes purity.
I think the right strapless dress on the right person could be okay.
Plunging necklines, laced up corsets, slits to the slit, bared midriffs, backless to the rump, short to the goodies, boobs spilling out… not so cool.
A wedding gown should make a woman look and feel elegant and beautiful, not cheap and trashy.
I work in the wedding industry, and have worked in gown sales, and I have never heard that a white gown was intended to symbolize happiness. The purity thing, yeah, but as I’ve said, it’s more of a mythological construct.
Veils can traditionally symbolize purity in a lot of different cultures, but it’s rare today for women to wear veils as a symbol of their purity rather than simply to be part of the traditional wedding outfit (although the tradition, as I’ve noted, is much much younger than everyone seems to think it is).
Is that some kind if fancy euphemism that only modest types will get?
My wedding was 20 years ago and at that time there were dresses with sleeves and necks. I chose an off the shoulder yet hardly revealing number. Barely revealed my collarbones. I personally like dresses with sleeves. I do not think strapless (with boob bulge, which is far too common) or plunging (front OR back) is appropriate at a wedding. ETA: the top of my wedding dress was very similiar to Jackie’s wedding dress, link above. Guess I got good taste!
Jackie’s dress is quite modest.
Yeah, like fancied up tube tops.
Those both look to be on her shoulders to me. Not covering her shoulders, but enough to qualify as not strapless/off the shoulder, and certainly higher than the sleeves seem to be in the cake picture.
I personally find strapless dresses to be more than a bit overdone and more than a bit unflattering to a lot of people, but then again I find many, many things about the modern traditional wedding overdone and/or unattractive. But I would never say any such thing to a bride who hadn’t asked for my input.
Great Halloween costume!
StG
