I don’t know why I’m posting this here, other than the fact that I really really need to vent. Please be gentle.
I’m really really stressed out. This is my last week at work; after that I will desperately schlep myself around Denver for 5 days trying to find a job/place to live. I hurt my back/neck pretty badly about 2 weeks ago, which has kept me from going to the gym regularly, which probably is keeping my stress levels higher. It’s the holidays; I don’t have much money for presents or whatnot because I’m moving in 3 weeks.
But these things are not bad. I was expecting (or at least was not surprised by) these things. The bad part is that my parents are splitting up and I feel like I’m being torn into 500 pieces. I guess no matter how old you are when something like that happens, it’s painful. But they’ve been toughing it out for nearly 25 years…and then all of a sudden, everything that has been festering comes to a head. My dad isn’t living at home. Both my parents have finally started seeing counselors, a vast improvement. I’m really worried about my dad and how all this is affecting him. I feel helpless. I’m desperately sad. I want them both to be happy…but the little kid in me wants them to be happy TOGETHER. I know it’s unrealistically idealistic for me to wish that; I’m a grown-up (sort of) and I know how relationships work. And theirs wasn’t working for a long time. So it’s better, right? And maybe they WILL work on stuff and WILL end up back together. But probably not. So I just cry. And I can’t do anything about it, and I’m moving 1000 miles away soon.
I know this is really not that big of a deal compared to all of the other bad things that have happened to people in the history of the world, particularly all of the things that have happened to dopers recently. But it’s really hard for me.
Thanks for listening. Please return to your regularly scheduled message board. And if anyone has any advice on how you dealt with your parents’ breakup, I’m all ears.
To you, this is a big deal. Moving is stressful – I’ve been helping friends do it for the past month. So is being short of money at the holidays. Also, I can’t imagine how I’d feel if my parents decided to end their marriage. If you need a shoulder to cry on, e-mail me, and we can compare notes about how much life stinks.
I’m sorry you’re going through such a tough time. All I can really offer you is my sympathy. Personally, I dealt with my parents (final) breakup by cheering and throwing a party – it was long overdue. The first time, I dealt with it by tuning out pretty much everything and playing computer games (I was like 10 years old). So I don’t know how much help that is to you.
Just know that however it turns out, it’s probably the best thing for them. And the best thing you can do for them is just to be there for each of them, and reassure them that you love them no matter what; and I hope they have the sense to do the same for you.
If you feel like talking to someone about it, you might still have my email address from way back in the day. If not, it’s in my profile. Feel free to drop me a line anytime.
I appreciate your support. I know I haven’t posted much on the SDMB, but I lurk all the time and read regularly. Yesterday afternoon was really hard for me, and I just needed to VENT and feel sorry for myself.
Today the sun came out, though (sort of), so I’m feeling a little better. I just mostly wish that this wasn’t all happening NOW…and I wish that my little sister who still lives at home didn’t have to be witness to everything that’s happened. At least I haven’t had to be there for all the nasty fights for the past 6.5 years.
Dopers, what was your first holiday season post-parental separation like for you?
Well, creepy. Um, one parent sorta refused to leave the house for, oh, eight months after it was rather clear the marriage was over anyway. These particular 8 months happened to include the Christmas season. So…um, I guess I don’t need to illustrate further for you to get the idea.
The next Christmas woulda been cool, had not one of parents’ new SO and family been shoved down my throat at that point. Same for the next Christmas.
Now I’m getting ready for Christmas #4. Expecting more of the same. Ugh.
Sorry, not helpful. If your parents aren’t crazy, you’ll probably have a better time of it.