Stress

[dragongirl]

Everything in my life turns into a major problem.

With each day, I just feel more and more stressed out. Between the kids, the housework, my volunteer work and my crochet business, I just feel like throwing in the towel.

I don’t want to get up in the morning, because when I do, it’s just another day to have things go wrong. This morning, before the kids got up, I was having a cup of coffee and working on a crochet order, it’s a white sweater and I’m almost finished, I knocked my coffee cup over and it dumped all over my work. I realize that this is not the end of the world, but it sure feels like it.

That’s the problem. All of the little things that happen to everyone in life, feel like horrible things to me.

Going to the grocery store or post office, making dinner, returning phone calls or doing laundry, it’s all just too much.

I enrolled at my local community college to start classes this fall, but I’m afraid I won’t be able to go. Something is going to happen to prevent me from attending.

I have good friends and I don’t feel like talking to them. It’s just too much work because I don’t feel like I can’t tell them my problems. I’ve always been the one who had all her shit together, I’ve always been able to handle everything, I’m the one they look up to to help with their problems.

There was one time that I broke down and told a friend how I was feeling. I got yelled at. Now she’s always watching me. If I tell her that I had a drink, she’s worried that I’m becoming an alcoholic. If I tell her that I like having a routine, I have OCD.

Maybe I’m becoming depressed. It runs in my family, my mother has been depressed for over twenty years. I feel like I’ve been fighting the problems she’s had my whole life. I don’t want to end up like her.

It would be so nice to have some time to myself, to do what I want to do. I get so tired of always doing things I’m expected to do.

I need a break.

Sorry for the rambling, I just had to get it all off my chest.

[garius]

There’s nothing nicer than being the one who has, or everyone thinks has, their shit together.

Unfortunately - speaking from personal experience - it can come back to bite you in the arse if you end up having problems.

For a start, people don’t seem to accept that you can have problems as well as them. Secondly it completely throws you off kilter, purely because you aren’t used to having to deal with that kind of crap yourself.

For me i found that the way through it was this:

1. I found someone i could talk to. To be honest it was a friend outside of my regular “circle of friends” because i didn’t want EVERYONE to know that i was struggling etc. I found this let me open up more and get a whole load of crap off my chest.

2. I did some serious thinking about how much stress i was actually under, and how much of it was just me stressing about being stressed. Realistically i found that a lot of it was just me over-reacting/panicing.

3. I took a step back and got away from everything for a weekend - i ended up going camping away from everything and it turned out to be exactly what i needed to refresh my batteries. (I appreciate that with kids this probably isn’t an option for you).

Its a shame that you got unlucky in talking to whoever you talked to. I found that the talking part was the bit that i needed most.

if you do need some random person to whine//bitch/moan/panic/ramble to, then feel free to drop me an email if you like. I can’t promise any deep meaningful advice, but from what people tell me i’m a pretty good “anonymous listener.”

Garius

[SwimmingRiddles]

Listen, as someone who’s dealt with depression my whole life, I’m not labeling you. But feeling dramatically overwhelmed by everything IS a symptom. Maybe heading over to your doctor and telling him/her what’s going on could help.

Make sure you make time for yourself. Excersize. It does WONDERS.

The most important thing is that you start taking active care of yourself. If that means telling your family that they need to help out more, do that. If it means going to your doctor and getting on meds to help you feel less like you’re drowning in everything, do that. If getting up an hour early every day and going on a nice, brisk walk does it, then force yourself to do that. Just make sure you allow yourself to take care of you. Because as pessimistic as it sounds, no one else will.