. . . and how’d it work out for you?
The one I had in mind doesn’t involve me, actually, but my mother. I guess about 15 years ago, she and my stepdad were getting their scuba certification in preparation for an imminent vacation to the Virgin Islands. Most of the certification process is split between a classroom and work in pool, but in order to successfully complete the course you have to do an open water dive in which you perform certain tasks (navigating with a compass, clearing water from your mask, etc.).
A day or two before their open water dive (which was itelf a day or two before they left on vacation), my mother came down with a bad cold. She remembered reading something about this in her text book, so we looked it up. We found it. There, in the middle of the page, away from everything else on the page, in capital letters and bold print, read the following words:
DO NOT DIVE WITH A COLD.
Unfortunately, since not doing this dive would ruin the vacation plan, she decided to chance it. It didn’t work out well. With clogged sinuses she was unable to equalize the pressure in her ears, so within about 5 minutes of entering the water she ruptured something in her ear. The instructor, IIRC, was incredulous when he heard that she had a cold and dove anyway. In the end, they had to cancel the whole trip because just getting on the airplane would have done serious harm to her damaged ear.
Anyone else?
At the end of my first semester of college, a professor said: “Drop out. There’s no shame in it, I think it’s the best thing you could do for yourself right now, and if you don’t, you’re going to end up flunking out of this program.” I was outraged that he’d even suggest it, and ignored it. Two semesters later, I was told that for academic reasons, I had to take at least a year off and then reapply if I wanted to come back.
Moral of the story: That professor in his seventies? The one who’s been teaching here for forty some years? The one who has personally taught dozens of freshman classes just like yours, and seen hundreds of freshmen fail miserably? It’s possible that his experience trumps yours and he knows more than your 18-year-old stubborn self.
“Keep your guard up when you kick.”
Tae kwon do. I was advanced enough to know better but had some bad habits. I dropped my guard. He kicked me in the head.
I got that very same advice in my first microprocessor class. I chose to ignore it. I’ve been working with microprocessors now for over 18 years.
The difference in my case, NinjaChick, was that the advice didn’t come from a professor who had seen 40 years of freshmen. It came from a first year professor whose previous experience was that of a perpetual grad student.
I busted my ass in that class for the rest of the semester (and barely passed) just to prove the bastard wrong.
In 1951 I decided to marry a Japanese women in Kyoto. My parents, several friends and the army chaplain all warned me in the most drastic tones not to do this. All professed to be free of prejudice, but told me I’d be one sorry guy if I did.
I eventually did, and although there was some angst (I’ve written at least one thread about it), I’m a happier, more reflective person for the breakup. Nothing major–I’m still young–but something to remember next time I get advice from all corners like that.
Advice from parents and several non-related people: Don’t get too trusting of her (best-friend at the time that i would have given my life for if needed) you’ve put her on a pedestal and all she’ll do is crush you.
Like Ninjachick i was outraged by their advice and turned a deaf ear.
After a decade she suddenly turned against me (literarily in the middle of a conversation): blaming me for everything, telling me all she used to do behind my back and never spoken to me again (a blessing). I can’t really convey how it was but i was nearly destroyed by her words.
It is totally my fault for turning a blind eye to the ‘clues’.
My parents, my friends, my coworkers, and my grandfather (WWII vet, Normandy, the whole deal): Linty, do not join the army! My father actually stopped speaking to me for a week after I raised my right hand.
And all these years later I realize that they were absolutely right. If I’d known what I was getting myself into, I never would have done it in a thousand years. That said, I look at my wife, my new life doing something I like, my masters degree, living in Boston, my plans for the future–none of which would have been possible without the army–and I’m really glad I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. If ever there was a situation I walked into with my eyes wide shut . . .
Oh, and I’ve toughened up, I’ve learned to take care of myself, I’ve learned not to take shit from people, I’ve learned to find my way out of the woods, and so on and so forth . . . I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be bored. I’ve also forgotten what it’s like to be envious of other people. No, the army was the best mistake I’ve ever made. My most glorious fuck-up.
[hijack]No it’s not. Trusting your friends is not a fault, and Shakespeare would have shoed horses instead of written plays were it easy for people to read the clues in someone they loved and respected. The fact that your relationship lasted a decade tells me that whatever you might think of the clues now, they were likely not that obvious at the time. It’s really not your fault, even if you played the fool a while. Sometimes, these things just happen. [/hijack]
“If you sleep with him, you’d better marry him. No one will want used goods”.
Sorry mom, didn’t work out that way. He was psycho. instead I married a man who would have run in horror if I’d been a virgin when we met. His father’s advice was “don’t buy a pair of shoes you haven’t tried on.”.
I got “drop out” advice as a freshman as well, from a tenured professor. (And he said a lot more, nastier stuff-- he honestly reminded me of my abusive stepfather). Is this a common thing for students to experience? I thought it was kind of bizarre being told that by a teacher, but I guess it’s more normal than I imagined.
Anyway-- I busted my ass to prove the guy wrong. A+. And I’m a senior now, going for a math degree, and still 4.0. So, his advice-- I ignored it. (I also used reverse psychology on him, and forced myself to appear happier and more friendly the angrier he made me. After being called aside for a 10-minute screaming harangue, I’d finish by standing up, offering my hand for a handshake, and thanking him for the time spent with me.)
