What to do when an oppressed minority finds itself in the crosshairs of a louder, less polite, and less scrupulous minority? Well, on Sunday, the soft-spoken, dignified gay community of Toronto found out: you get steamrolled. That’s right, it’s the old ugly duckling of our chronically self-oppressed sub-groups: Black Lives Matter. The Gay Pride Parade being held in Toronto made a point to show their solidarity with the Toronto chapter of Black Lives Matter. Having granted BLM “guests of honor” status along with their own float in the parade, it must have seemed like BLM was in the company of kindred spirits.
Well, what better way to show your appreciation than to stop your float, stage a sit-in, and set off smoke bombs, scaring the living daylights out of bystanders attempting to enjoy the joyous celebration. Nothing smells of joy like the sweaty pangs of nearby panic & potassium chlorate, amirite? What a glorious methodology to raise awareness. And, boy, are we all aware.
What, you may say, was the reason for this courageous upstaging of an event so minor in relation to your cause that most people didn’t even know you were there? Why, you see, the oppressive, privileged evil GAYS were discriminating against blacks and holding them down. Screwed by the man. Err, transgender former-man. Err, not-quite-sure-what-I-am-but-definitely-not-a-gender-conformed-man. But I digress.
You see, there was indeed a grand plan to all this totally necessary rudeness: blackmail. That’s right, nothing shows the moral imperative of your cause like upstaging an event you were invited to as a guest of honor, engulfing bystanders in harmful chemicals, and, oh yes, saying that you won’t budge until the event organizers acquiesce to a list of demands.
Among the highlights of this blackmai…I mean “list of demands:”
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Double funding for Blockorama (Hmm, demanding money. Nice.)
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“Prioritizing” black trans women, indigenous folk, and people from “vulnerable communities” in hiring. (Oooh, special treatment. I guess this means the gay community at large is no longer “vulnerable.” Way to belittle them during their own parade.)
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Banning all floats sponsored by police for future parades. (A wonderful gesture of inclusivity.)
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A mandatory town hall to be held in 6 months where Toronto Pride explains how it will meet all your entirely legitimate demands. (Yeah, we’ll see about that.)
Folks, how fucking stupid as shit do you have to be to ban law enforcement from having its own float when they are at the parade keeping people safe from lunatics like these BLM morons? It’s such idiocy as to render the reasonable person apoplectic. I think the LA Times said it best:
Shame on you, Black Lives Matter. Grow the fuck up.