sigh New feline overlord …
“Stop licking my armpit”
“No I don’t want to sniff your butt” [when she decided to crawl on my stomach and lay down tail towards my chin]
“Why are you licking my thigh?”
and of course - “You were under the blanket and I farted, suck it up buttercup” <giggle>
Pics?
All very useful statements from a cat person. It never ceases to amuse me the things I’ve said to my cats. My fave: “Quit being a tattle-tell, the dogs did not scatter your litter, or steal your catnip mousie.” I’m glad no person hears me.
ETA, y’all keep my secret, that I’m a crazy cat lady.
Mr. Butters often sits alone in the other room performing selections from “Lamentations: the Songs of My People.”
Sometimes I sing along, but it makes me nervous since I’m not certain exactly what I’m saying.
Meow?
I can guess Mr. Butters is saying “feed me!”, or “I want treats”. I’ve heard that song before. Many, many times. All at Siamese decibels. Which are not measured by any normal means. Go ahead sing along with Mr. Butters, I bet he appreciates the effort.
When I (meaning my wife) had a cat,
Get off my face, or
Stop laying on my throat
OTOH the cat never tried snuggling up to me under the blankets with full extension milk treading in, erm, sensitive spots either as she was wont to do to the wife, so there’s that. Truly, she was an evil overlord.
“It’s ok when you sleep between my feet… but quit moving up to my ass crack.”
“You’re going to regret that!” said to Her Majesty just now after licking a bowl of hot salsa. It was said to her yesterday after licking mustard off a plate. The day before when she broke into a box of powdered donuts and stole one, licking it clean.
“Get out of my pants” and “Drop the sock”. She’s a thief.
And, every night, “Hey! That’s MY pillow!”. When she knows it’s bedtime, she will race into my room and curl up on my pillow. Not the empty pillow, it has to be my pillow.
Some that are said around my house on a regular basis:
“Marbles! Get your face out of your brothers ass!”
“Bowdaar, would you please bury your brother’s poop?”
“Quit hugging my butt when I’m trying to cook!”
Sorry, hope it’s ok to post a dog owner’s “thing I never thought I would say”;
Hold still so I can pull that 6" long piece of poop covered grass out of your butt.
Dog owner reply:
“Outside go potty! Go…Potty! Go…go on…keep going…Go! I can tell you’re faking it! Just go and you can come in. Please go potty…”
Meanwhile dog is walking as slowly as possible to the end of the patio, gingery putting one foot on the wet ground, pretending to lift on leg and looking over his shoulder as if to say, “See, I’m going” when he’s clearly faking it. I don’t even know why he would fake it.
It might be that your pooch doesn’t much care to be out in the cold and wet, and is just checking to see if you’re serious that this is what you really want (not having given much thought to the idea that this would indeed be a good time to poop. Well, really, not having given much thought, stop.) Or else the pooch is happy to finally be outdoors, it’s not like he forgot his coat or anything, and the longer he draws this out, the more time he gets to enjoy the pungent odors of the wide world. Or like any other creature, some PITA mess of contradictions.
But yeah, best friend, please just poop already.
The “Lamentations” are usually reserved for late night/early morning hours. They have the best acoustics at the foot of a stairwell.
This is not your standard “Mrow.”
“Lamentations” are a full-throated, almost echoing “Mroooow” that has an almost haunted quality to it.
My daughter says the cat is desperately lonely, and wants immediate company. Thus the cry translates as “Hellooo? Helloooo?”
~VOW
VOW - your daughter is probably correct. Some selections do sound rather like Bobby Vinton singing “Mr. Lonely.”
Rat owner replies:
Stop chewing on my pants!
Ok, that’s enough licking my nose.
Another rat owner here: Jackson! Quit humping your brother!
Ow! Claws hurt, gentlemen!
Stuff I never thought I would say …
This Jeep actually isn’t too bad.
I’m at a loss as to why the early am is when the loudest most pitiful howls occur. I’ve succeeded in training my pups to sleep late. Except, when the cats awaken everyone in the house. Peaceful chirping birds in the yard head for the hills when morning song is begun. I guess it’s a good thing there aren’t any neighbors for about 10miles. I get up and feed them breakfast, sometimes nearly sleep walking. More often than not the dogs don’t get up. They know I’m coming back.
Then we have to endure their morning bathing at the foot of my bed. They like an audience.
To my right hand, - not tonight I have a headache.