Well as a serious answer to the worthy throatshot, may I make a few suggestions.
The trouble is, you are associating these Boards with the pleasant feelings they engender as you enjoy the give-and-take, the witty but enlightening things people say, and the breadth and variety of Doper backgrounds.
You now need to gain some unpleasant experiences. The Chicago Reader has thoughtfully included these as part of your Straight Dope experience at no extra charge.
Here are some of the ways to access these “de-addicters” as they are called:
- Try starting a thread titled “Congratulate me, I’ve finally made 100 posts”. You will actually feel the breeze on your cheek from the rush of posters who hate cheery artlessness and can’t wait to tell you that this is no achievement plenty of people have more posts and anyway who cares.
These people are actually paid to be nasty, to help weaken the adrenalin rush you’ve been getting.
- Spend ninety minutes composing, rewriting and polishing an answer on a busy thread that masterfully recapitulates all the stated arguments, cogently points out an alternative to them all and ends with a clever play on words that is also an affectionate pun on the OP’s handle. A piece that would earn you a “distinction” mark if handed in as part of an academic course.
Then press submit, and wait for someone, anyone to respond, agree, even mention it. Keep waiting. A little longer… Hmmm. Not a sausage.
Of course the real reason for this phenomenon is that your post attracted attention from the suppression squad, and although you can still see it, nobody else can. It has never even been read.
- Or, start a thread that briefly reports your brisk handling of an obnoxious nuisance in an everyday situation. From nowhere, two or three people will arrive who will tell you how wrong and unfair you were. “You don’t understand how badly paid those shop assistants are and what stress they work under” or “That traffic cop had probably just come from working in the rubble at Ground Zero, which is more than you’ll ever do”
Again, hirelings to help you get perspective.
So these moments of anger or depression can be stepping stones to deStraightDopification.
You can judge for yourself how effective they are.
Welcome to the joint, throat, mate. See you tomorrow.
Or maybe later tonight…?
[sub]Or in an hour or so…?[/sub]
Redboss
