I slept on this prior to posting, so I am assuming there is some vague level of coherence here. If not, fire away.
Perhaps it’s only me, but when someone even vaguely gets the ball rolling on the beginnning of a relationship (whether it be IRL or online) and things don’t work out, why can’t people* just ADMIT IT and say something, rather than ignoring and avoiding?
I mean, Jesus Christ, is it really so very difficult to say anything along the lines of “Gee, I guess this isn’t what I thought it would be” or “Gosh golly, I guess you’re not someone I want to spend time talking with” or even “Fuck off, loser!” --?
The internet is a wonderful place, but, please, folks, let’s be careful out there.
*Yes, I mean guys specifically, but I wanted to be inclusive so as not to be an ass.
Well, some people avoid confrontation, rather than hurting someone’s feelings outright. And sometimes, people just can’t come up with the right words to make it hurt less, so they resort to abject silence. It sucks, but that’s just what happens.
Yes, it all seems like a big waste of time. I totally sympathize with that. (Heh, I just wasted 9 years of my life with someone who decided in the end that he wanted to be alone.) Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and accept the fact that people can be assholes.
Piffle. I learned a long, long time ago that honesty was always best, because that’s what I wanted in return. Hurting someone’s feelings now is far less messy than having to deal with them once they’re more involved and attached, “just to be nice.” There’s nothing nice about being a jerk.
I once went out with someone several times, because I really liked them and really wanted to like them at the level of wanting to date them. I gave him far more than just a fair shake, although I never told him anything that wasn’t true. There came a point where I felt he was getting attached and realized I just wasn’t going to reciprocate, so I took him out to dinner and laid it on the table and ended it. He said, “You realize of course that because you took the time to respect me by telling me this to my face just makes me want to date you ten times more.” I said, “Did you want me to be a jerk, then?”
