How fucking stupid can I really be? I mean, I know that the holidays generally suck for me as it is. I really ought to fucking know better than to try to have a serious conversation with someone. Fucking sucks harder than I can even begin to say.
I know I have to be some kind of idiot. I just hope I haven’t lost a friend over this. And I am fucking afraid that I did. Actually, I’m pretty damn sure I did. And I can honestly say that this one is no fault of my own. Being honest is supposed to be best, right? How come it fucking ruins everything? I know better than to let people into my world. And I fucking do it anyway. Fucking not going to happen again. Right now, the world can go fuck itself up the ass with a spoon and leave me alone here in my dinky ass apartment.
If you really want to know how I feel, then you have to take what I tell you and accept it. I’ll put it in simple terms, but you are going to have to take it at FACE VALUE. There is no ulterior motive. I’m not trying to get you into bed. I’m trying to explain that I DON’T feel that way about you. What the hell are you reading into my simple statement? How did you go from there to having to explain that there’s someone else in your life? Like I wasn’t already aware of that? It sounds in your voice and on your face. But you think that highly of yourself that you assume that because I said I care about you, I have to have romantiv feelings for you? Bite my ass and go piss on the subway tracks.
I second the hug and the Ben & Jerry’s, but…
Seriously though, if you need to talk about anything I’m here. (not like you know me or anything, but oh well!)
I get the gist of your post (I think) and this guy sounds like a fucking arrogant moron.
May I suggest Harry Nilsson’s “You’re Breakin’ My Heart” and “Fairy Tale of New York” by the Pogues, and then some random Liz Phair for the soundtrack?
I laughed, I cried, I threw stuff around my apartment. It was better than Cats.
I didn’t realize how little sense I made when I posted this last night. Thanks y’all for bearing with it. I understood what I was saying, and I certainly needed to say it.
And tisiphone-I love the link.
Things are much better today. I haven’t thrown or kicked anything in hours. And I actually don’t feel like it.
But seriously Lsura, everything guys (I’m just assuming it was a guy, even though the OP doesn’t say. If it wasn’t please ignore this post) learn about women usually teaches them that there is ALWAYS an ulterior motive. I don’t personally know a single woman (including those in my immediate family) who usually says exactly what she means. [warning]a bunch of WAG’s about Lsura and her motivations follow[/warning] Plus, if you literally said you “care” about this individual, well, that’s a choice of words that can be easily misunderstood. It doesn’t automatically make the guy a conceited bastard. From just reading the OP it sounds like you are upset because you are embarrassed. You revealed a personal part of yourself, and experienced rejection. That’s perfectly understandable-nobody likes rejection. (Understatement Award candidate, there)
I think the best thing you could do for yourself is to confront this individual (in a nonthreatening way, of course) and say flat out that “just because I said I care about you doesn’t mean I am attracted to you. That’s not what I meant. I value you as a friend. That’s all I see you as.”
However they act after this will tell you something about THEIR character, and you can be content that you were honest and didn’t let your emotions be held hostage. You walk away the winner either way.
