Stupid Christmas Gifts

[ivylass]

For a gift exchange a few years ago I got a soap dish.

[Draelin]

@Elenia28

They are almost impossible to get a hold of.

Now my afternoon may very well be spent in an online search for the elusive Hello Kitty Vibrator. Or maybe I’ll wait till I get home from work, now that I think a little more carefully …

Do you want it even if it doesn’t plug into the wall?

[redtail23]

I looked through a Hallmark catalog the other day (don’t even know why we got it). A huge collection of incredibly useless stuff.

Is stirring your coffee too exhausting? Get the push-button coffee cup that’ll do it for you!

Toasting marshmallows just too difficult? Get the battery-operated, three-prong marshmallow toaster that rotates for you!

Those are the ones I really remember, but it was just page after page after page of this crap.

Amazing.

[ladybug]

@LifeOnWry

Well, I was buying a water heater and I happened to spy with my little eye a teeny little sewing machine across the sales floor. It was PINK! So I had to go over and investigate this PINK sewing machine. Turns out it was a Barbie sewing machine for kids. OK, I thought, whatever. Salesguy approached and I asked him if he was selling any PINK sewing machines. He said, “Yeah, I’ve sold two, both to grandmas who were buying them for granddaughters. But I’ve yet to sell one of these.” And he held up a PINK Barbie vacuum cleaner. Not a toy vacuum, but a real, actual carpet-cleaning vacuum. In PINK. With Barbie all over it.

“Who would BUY that?” I asked.
“F*ck if I know,” said the salesguy.

When I was five years old, the one thing I wanted for Christmas was a Sew Perfect sewing machine. I remember going to the mall and asking Santa for it. Mom says the look on Santa’s face when I asked for a sewing machine was priceless.