Stupid General Questions: Part III (or IV or whatever it is)

Dear Cecil

If I look at the sun through binoculars, will I be able to see sun spots?

Dear Cecil

What can I mix with canned cat food to make a tasty dip?

Dear Cecil

Is it possible to knit tripe

Dear Cecil

I’m a Leo and my wife is a Capricorn. What should we do?

Oops. Dear Cecil

How come your board doesn’t know I’m not Edlyn?

Dear Cecil,
Is it true that smoking is a major cause of statistics?

Dear Cecil,

I know we can’t ask why we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway. But I want to know why we can’t get high on a highway.

Why can’t it be both?

Dear Cecil,

I still have a rock in my box? May I set your dog on fire now?

I was gonna start a thread where we could make up fake answers to real GQs because sometimes I can barely contain myself. Here is my entry:
Dear Cecil:

If I weigh 150 lbs and can deadlift 200 lbs, why can’t I sit in a chair and lift both myself and the chair into the air by pulling on it’s arms?


Lib, I know you were trying to start a light-hearted thread, but I just gotta add a serious answer.

Down the street from the last place I lived was a Taco Bell. It was originally a small branch for a bank, and had to be refitted. They didn’t have the space for a normal drive-through lane and window, so they did the best they could - which was on the wrong side of the car. You had to lean waaay over to get your food, or else bring a passenger to get it, and Taco Bell just wasn’t worth that kind of effort.

Later, the building was changed to a Chinese take-out, who left the drive through on the wrong side (really, there was nothing else they could do). It was really good, though, so I would make my son come with me just to get the food from the window.

So yes, they do just toss your food through the passenger window. (And only now do I realize - the owners must have moved here from Great Britain! Of course! It all makes sense now!)

Dear Cecil,

My dog has carpet burns on his butt. Should I be concerned?

While we’re doing serious answers, do we even have drive-throughs in england? I don’t think I’ve ever seen one, but then I don’t drive much.

Dear Cecil

If my dog has no legs, do I take him for a drag?

Thanks Texan. That’s very interesting! :slight_smile:

Dear Cecil

Are you a seasick sea serpent?

Dear Cecil:

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

If money doesn’t grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

Can you cry under water?

Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

Why do you have to “put your two cents in”…but it’s only a “penny for your thoughts”?
Where’s that extra penny going to? Taxes?
Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?
Why is it that our children can’t read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?

With apologies to the inestimable Peter Kay:

With apologies to the inestimable Peter Kay: