I guess I’m turning into a Grinch, but I’m getting tired of the family gift exchange. Every year I think about not participating the next time around, and I end up doing it anyway.
How do you exchange gifts with your family? Do you love it or hate it?
What I don’t like is the obligatory nature of the thing. I want to get fun stuff for people I like and find The Perfect Gift for. I love that kind of shopping. I don’t want to try and figure out what the heck to get for the sister-in-law I talk to twice a year who I don’t like much anyway and don’t know well enough to know what she likes JUST BECAUSE she’s my sister-in-law and we’re going to be seeing each other (but probably not even having a conversation) at the family Christmas thing.
This year for my side of the family has been easier, because the extended family I’m not close to is going elsewhere for Christmas, so we don’t have to exchange gifts, and the rest of us finally just told each other what we want, but that takes a lot of the joy out of it as well. I know I’m getting this flatware set from my grandmother and this Aero-Garden from my mom, and they know they’re getting a blanket and cereal dishes in the new pattern respectively, because that’s what we’ve all asked each other for. And that’s nice and it’s good that we’re getting what we asked for, because it’s better than ugly clothes not in our taste, but…it’s still lackluster somehow. I’m honestly really looking forward to my SDMB Secret Santa gift simply because I don’t know what it is. I have an inkling of the general nature, 'cause I’m an idiot and Quasi had to prompt me for more information via email on my Santa’s behalf, but I still don’t know details, and it could be that Secret Santa’s changed their mind. Bottom line, it’s going to be a surprise, and that’s what I’m looking forward to.
But yeah, I wish we could Secret Santa for my husband’s side of the family, or just not give gifts to everyone and not be offended by that. But it’s just not going to happen.
So this isn’t the stupid gift exchange thread for dopers wanting to trade gifts? :dubious:
Gosh, I hope not! 
We are exchanging with both sides of our family. We’ve planted the seeds for turning this tradition into more of a giving-to-the-less-fortunate thing next year (Mr. K and I are both exchanging and donating for each other this year).
One sister-in-law bowed out of the exchange thing last year and this year, as well. She’s a Christmas person, but they’re in a new house, her husband is a jew (and a very Scroogie one, at that) and she doesn’t work. She has the situation of her dreams, thanks to him, so she doesn’t make waves when he says she can’t have extra money. We’ll see them, but only for the foody part.
Hate it. This year it has turned into a huge debacle with various family members being offended b/c their name was mistakenly left off of a list, etc. Mrs. 50million and I suggested that we do a “Families Helping Families” or whatever your local equivalent is, and that went over like a lead balloon.
It just seems pretty pointless to me to spend (“a maximum of”) $20 to give somebody something that they’re going to enjoy about $5 worth, and for them to do the same for me. Especially when I could spend $20 at Wal-Mart and buy about 2 complete outfits for some kid from a family who actually needs it. (Which is why I did exactly that.)
My parents send me cash and a couple of modest items I might like. Grandma sends me cash. I send my parents a couple of modest items they might like, and I send G’ma a card and maybe flowers. That’s it for the family. None of it is obligatory (although I would be unpleasantly surprised if I didn’t get anything from them).
My brother did say he would add a few items to last year’s box and send it to me this year but I won’t hold my breath. I got a gift from him for the first time ever a couple of birthdays ago so it’s certainly not a tradition!
That’s not a bad idea- everyone posts what they don’t want, and then someone else goes “ooh! I want that!” and they trade!
I shop for my parents, my 3 siblings (Since my one brother got married, they get a joint gift), 2 grandmothers and a lady who is like another grandmother. I usually will get a couple things for my SO’s family but this year I’m just giving him like $100 or so to add to what he’s getting them.
I’m just glad to not have to be in our office gift exchange, they’re having it the day I leave to go visit my family. It’s a holiday miracle!
Ooooh, stupid gift exchanges sounds great!
I also want to opt out of the family gift exchange, but I don’t know…I think I’ve got my brother/step-siblings talked into not exchanging gifts next year. It’s too late for this year. My mom will NEVER not exchange gifts with us, but I think us kids can boycott.
I also like the idea of a stupid gift exchange!
I got this today!!!
This year we all finally got smart and do a one-gift only exchange on each side of the family. On my dad’s side we picked names out of a hat, and give the person a present between $20 and $50. On my mom’s side we do the game where you draw numbers and each person unwraps a random present, and can then trade it for any other gifts that have been unwrapped. So I only have 2 gifts to buy this year, not counting the kids (2 neices, a nephew, and 2 godchildren). Oh, and my fiance too. Makes life easier, that’s for sure.
My sibs and I quit exchanging years ago, much to my relief. And this year on my husband’s side of the family, we’re doing a Bad Santa exchange. Everyone is bringing a cheesy, wrapped $10 gift and we’ll choose and steal and see what we end up with. Considering most of them are in tight financial situations, this should take the stress out of the season.
I didn’t used to be so grinchy…
I feel grinchy too…
We used to all (extended family) exchange gifts until us kids got old enough to by our own gifts for people and then it got too expensive. Then we went to a pick-a-name system on both sides of the family, with a price cap, but I got crabby about that because I, like others here, didn’t want to spend $75 on crap or get $75 worth of crap.
We’ve had happy non-gifty Christmases the past few years but this year it’s back again on my dad’s side of the family. We’re doing one of those “buy a random thing for $10 and we’ll play a game” dealies.
I LOATHE this because I don’t want to spend $10 on crap (candles, soap, socks, bottle opener, etc) that NO ONE needs (everyone in the fam has too much crap already) when I could take said $10 and buy something I need, or someone else needs, or give it to the Salvation Army.
But, my mom says that since my grandpa is 83 and likes to play games, this is what we’re doing since he requested it. I hate it and I think it’s so trite that you can’t have a nice Christmas get-together without opening gifts but that’s the way it’s got to be.
I bought 30 3/$1 popcorn balls to give. Whee…
My extended family does an annual Yankee Swap and it works out well. The process of swapping is more fun than the actual presents in most cases, but isn’t that what Christmas is all about - fighting your Grandma for the box of candy and leaving your cousin with the ugly sweater?
My husband’s family has decided to start doing a Secret Santa among the aunts and uncles and another among the cousins. This has left my sister-in-law out in the dark, since she is the only cousin still in college and not owning her own house. Even a $20 present is going to be taxing on her. Previously, the aunts and uncles had swapped families, with one couple buying for all of another couple’s kids. Now that there are marriages (and divorces) among the kids, it’s gotten too complicated to deal with. I suggested a Yankee swap for them too, but they didn’t like the idea of buying a generic gift. I say it’s the way to go for big families. Whoever shows up with a present gets to participate and take something home.
I have 8 siblings. It would be too much of a pain in the ass to buy each one a gift, so my brother writes a python script to determine which one sibling we buy a gift for. We are all pretty close so no long has gotten bad presents so far. I am buying my brother two things I know he will love and I sent my amazon wishlist to the brother who is buying for me. My wishlist is so long and I’ve had it since 2002 that it will still be a surprise no matter what I get. This gift is 75-100$. Then, we pool our money to buy gifts for our parents and grandparents. I go around and ask everyone how much they can donate this year and then figure out what we can get for that amount.
I like this method because it takes pressure off of you when you don’t have much to donate that year. It also allows you to be generous if your year is going well. We often give my parents “family gifts” so that they benefit more than just my parents. For example, this year we are buying my mom a new computer. My dad was going to give the new one he is buying early next year to my mother but now he can give it to my brother who is going off for college next year.
I do like exchanging gifts with my immediate family (my mother, siblings who live locally, and their significant others) because we try to get mid-priced gifts that really suit each other’s personality and interests. there are others who manage to suck the joy right out of it.
my one sister always starts boasting around the end of November about what awesome gifts she managed to score for so-and-so, and how hard they were to come by but she went right out and blah blah blah. problem is it’s stuff SHE likes, not what WE want, and she has no common sense. so a couple years ago my big fancy gift was a camisole and slip from Victoria’s Secret (I am the lingerie manager at a dept. store) in size small (I have worn a L-XL for the past 10 years).
my brother’s ultra spoiled offspring really get on my nerves. they get whatever they want when they want it, and my sister in law’s parents are divorced and each is remarried so both sets of maternal grandparents try to outdo each other in the “send yourself into bankruptcy to show how much you loooooove the kids” contest so that the kids both have toys that have never even been out of the package. my mother and I give them savings bonds, and I buy a few nice things for Toys for Tots.
on a positive note, my first Christmas as dept. manager I told my employees that instead of buying a boss’ gift they should donate the money to charity, and they thought that was a great idea and have done it every year since.
Saving ten dollars when your financialy strapped is even better. Forgo buying a $10 trash item. Have the family look for the most bizaire present they have sitting around and bring that if they must.
ZipperJJ there are many games out there that don’t require a prize, so play them instead. I’ll bet that buying a bag of candy and given a piece to the winner would be good enough for grandpa if he wants to play something like bingo. At his age he’s done without a lot more than younger people durring the bad times of this nation, and I’m sure he can handle the adversity of no $10 prizes at the games.