how about some stupid opening lines for meeting someone?
i never hear any of those anymore… The good old days…
Come here often?
What’s a nice girl/guy like you doing in a place like this?
(Is this what you were looking for? You weren’t terribly clear…)
Hi, welcome to my 50 cm radius.
What’s a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?
Were your parents retarded because you sure look special?
Do you wash your clothes in Windex, because I sure can see myself in your pants?
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
How you doin’?
The word of the day is “Legs.” Let’s go spread the word!
People (ok, men) will STILL say to a table of three women,
‘What are pretty girls like you doing here all alone?’
Imagining two friends each?
“I’d buy you a drink, but I find you irritatingly attractive.”
Then watch the object of your amorous designs try to decide whether they’ve been complimented or insulted.
I’d buy you a drink but my gaze is stuck.
Hi. Let’s fuck.
I’ve had a vasectomy.
~spits on the girl~ Hey, we need to get you out of those wet clothes.
Not really an opening line, more of a continuation. I was talking to this girl yesterday and there was a lull in the conversation, so she took the iniative:
she: so I learned something new today
me: oh?
she: yeah, I learned what “sodomy” means
me (completely unsure of how I could possibly respond to this): ::blank stare::
she: that’s really gross
me: ::continues blank stare::
in Arnold voice
I will destroy your anus!
Dear Og, I can’t believe I just wrote that…
I need more beer.
Sexiest thing you can ever say to a woman:
“Hi my name is SHAKES (or your name here) and my two favorite things are commitment and changing myself…”
yes Futurama fans I shamelessy stole that one…
“You know, you would look really good with my dick in your mouth”
Got me in trouble more than once.
Walk up to a girl, don’t say anything and look her in the eyes. Then look down, then eyes, then down, and finally back to the eyes and say “Well it isn’t going to suck itself”
Yesiree, boys and girls, I could be a real asshole in my youth. I guess thats why I’m 31 and still single.
I think you’re going to be my future ex-wife.
Somebody actually said that to me once.
I seem to be the magnet for stupid opening lines. The three worst I’ve ever heard:
“I NEED you.” (after the guy bumped me with his knees. URRGGH!)
“Excuse me, can you help me with my chemistry homework?” (the guy was studying in the bookstore where I was working. I told him I was no good at chemistry.) “Oh yeah? I don’t believe you, honey, cause I’m feeling some good chemistry between us right now!”
And the absolute worst one ever:
“What would your Dad say if he caught us in your room and I had a bulge in my pants?”
these are great. yeah you have the right idea Mikie!!