(Just kidding about the shampoo instructions)
But:
I got this recipe in a liquor store, for some kind of flaming bananas. It’s a recipe put out on a very official looking recipe card by Bacardi, and it says to use a certain kind of Bacardi dark rum. When you buy the (Bacardi) rum specified in this (Bacardi) recipe, it warns: “Flammable! Do Not Ignite!”
Which of course is exactly what the recipe tells you to do.
On the bottom of a candle “To extenguish candle blow on flame”.
If I’m that stupid should I be playing with matches.
I always wonder about those packets of silica gel that come with new shoes/purses, etc.
If people eating them is such a HUGE deal–and seriously, I guess if you were illiterate you might mistake them for lil’ packages of rock salt–why even bother? This whole DO NOT EAT DO NOT EAT DO NOT EAT DO NOT EAT packaging is a little much.
Makes me wonder if they taste good. (And since it’s obvious that the reason people may inadvertently eat them is b/c they do look just like individual salt packages, why not change the damn packaging?)
Dog food labels are kind of freaky, too; what exactly is in there that makes it necessary to add “Not For Human Consumption” on the label? And, more importantly, WHO’D WANT TO?
Has anybody ever been freaked out by the side-effects of commercially advertised drugs? There’s one for black toenails–some kind of fungus or something–and they make a pill for it that takes like nine months to work…and after showing the really happy, toe-fungus-free woman wearing sandals and smiling at her feet for awhile, the announcer basically says, “May cause liver damage and heart disease…do not use if you are taking OAI inhibitors…may cause stomach upset, diarrhea, headache, nausea, and other serious gastrointestinal disorders…tell your doctor about any other medications you are taking…you may go bald and/or lose the toe altogether…your teeth may turn green…your children won’t grow…your left arm could fall off at any moment…”
I dunno, man. I’ll take the funky-looking toenail.
I recently read somewhere about a product (sorry, can’t recall the name but I think it was some kind of snack) which had printed on the bottom: Do not turn upside down. Heh. You could only read the warning after turning it upside down.
I saw a bottle of water once that read: For drinking or cooking.
Gee, thanks for the explanation.
On a wet/dry vaccuum: Do not use on wet surface.
What I always love are the food packages that say, “Use with your favorite barbeque sauce.” Well, gee, I was going to put on this noxious stuff I really hate, but if you say so.
Bought a bag of Californian walnuts last Christmas and it said on the outer wrapper " remove shells before eating "
I also saw on a soft drink carton " serve 100% chilled" Surely it would be deep frozen if you did that. If not how do you 50% chill something? .
Following the cooking instructions on a box of Velveeta Shells and Cheese.
**“Load fork or spoon with creamy Velveeta Shells & Cheese. Open mouth; insert utensil. Repeat as needed.” **
It states nothing about chewing and swallowing.