God can only be summoned when GOOD things happen to republicans, or when BAD things happen to democrats. Stop trying to say that God had anything to do with the good, God fearin’ conservatives of Texas!!!
Is God punishing Texas, or is God testing Texas? That would be an annoying question to ask Rick Perry.
Mind if I steal this?
Sure renewable energy just can not impact the total needs of the planet, so sayeth the Repubs. But it is not true.
Be my guest. I hope it becomes a national cliche. Just be sure to cite your’s truly when the Bartlett’s Familiar Quotations comes knocking on your door. 
Could I trouble you for a cite for Perry’s original statement?
Here’s the original proclamation.
Notably, the proclamation doesn’t address the cause of drought.
Mitt Romney’s plan for the economy? Cut taxes!
This time it’ll work for sure!
What the fuck does the estate tax have to do with job creation, you lying sack of shit (Romney)?
Zombie job creators. You can’t take it with you? Well, then, they refuse to go.
Because those noble public servants who inherit $100 million will invest it in JobCo, Products for Consumers[sup]TM[/sup]. (Daddy just had it buried in a coffee can in the backyard.)
Would you rather the money went to someone who just leeches off society, like a public school teacher?
Could anything be more foreign than the sun? I say build a fence on our upsies border!
I can see the sun from my house!*
*Okay, Tina Fey paraphrased this, not Sarah Palin. But it’s funny, I tells yeh!
As you know, my state borders the sun, so the governor has a lot of work tracking its movements and making sure it’s not causing any trouble.
Fine, you want something that Tina Fey didn’t make up? I’m a an expert on theronuclear physics because I can see the sun ten to fourteen hours a day. I consume food created by it.
I’m a expert on nuculear stuff!
-Joe
While Texas is burning down, Perry is blaming slow Federal response for assistance.
At the same time his budget is cutting $34 million from the firefighter’s budget…
Look, the gummint should stay out of peoples’ lives.
Unless those people need something that they don’t want to pay for themselves.
-Joe
It gets better: not only is he complaining while slicing his budget, but someone in his office came out and said something about it…
“Boo hoo the government is refusing us aid!”
“But we gave you everything you asked for!”
“Boo hoo the government isn’t doing its job!”
God Hates FMAGS!
Of course, it’s only fair that if FEMA is going to come to Texas’ aid, they should first find the money in the budget in some other government program so as not to add to the federal government’s deficit.