Stupid Republican idea of the day

[Kimstu]

@GIGObuster

Regarding slavery, it is just about time he should also had amended one of the ten commandments at least.

[…] Rabbi M.J. Raphall (circa 1861) justified human slavery on the basis of the 10th commandment.

Gosh, Rabbi Raphall is really getting around here in the Pit nowadays; he was just recently mentioned in the “BCE/CE” notation thread.

Anyway, just to balance out the context of those comments:

@Rabbi Morris Jacob Raphall

When you remember that Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Job—the men with whom the Almighty conversed, with whose names he emphatically connects his own most holy name, and to whom He vouchsafed to give the character of “perfect, upright, fearing G-d and eschewing evil” (Job i. 8)—that all these men were slaveholders, does it not strike you that you are guilty of something very little short of blasphemy? And if you answer me, “Oh, in their time slaveholding was lawful, but now it has become a sin,” I in my turn ask you, “When and by what authority you draw the line?” Tell us the precise time when slaveholding ceased to be permitted, and became sinful?" When we remember the mischief which this inventing a new sin, not known in the Bible, is causing; how it has exasperated the feelings of the South, and alarmed the conscience of the North, to a degree that men who should be brothers are on the point of embruing their hands in each other’s blood, are we not entitled to ask the reverend preacher of Brooklyn, "What right have you to insult and exasperate thousands of G-d-fearing, law-abiding citizens, whose moral worth and patriotism, whose purity of conscience and of life, are fully equal to your own? What right have you to place yonder grey-headed philanthropist on a level with a murderer, or yonder mother of a family on a line with an adulteress, or yonder honorable and honest man in one rank with a thief, and all this solely because they exercise a right which your own fathers and progenitors, during many generations, held and exercised without reproach or compunction. […]

My friends, I find, and I am sorry to find, that I am delivering a pro-slavery discourse. I am no friend to slavery in the abstract, and still less friendly to the practical working of slavery. But I stand here as a teacher in Israel; not to place before you my own feelings and opinions, but to propound to you the word of G-d, the Bible view of slavery. With a due sense of my responsibility, I must state to you the truth and nothing but the truth, however unpalatable or unpopular that truth may be.

[GIGObuster]

Forgot the link to my last quote:

http://www.religioustolerance.org/sla_bibl1.htm

[Senegoid]

Exodus 20:17"Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbor’s."

I had a neighbor once whose ass I coveted.

[Kobal2]

Did you ever get to tap that ox ?

[Mr.Greenjeans]

@ElvisL1ves

A vignette from the 2008 campaign trail:

Are we sure they weren’t actually saying that voting day was nearer?

[Snowboarder_Bo]

@waterj2

And the 21st seems to be incompatible with the idea of omniscience. Not to mention that the 18th seems incompatible with the idea of a benevolent God, but then the sort of deity people like Tom DeLay worship has never really struck me as benevolent to begin with.

Tom DeLay is a Baptist. Baptists don’t believe in a loving or benevolent god, they believe in a just god.

[Snowboarder_Bo]

@Apollyon

What I want to know is whether the “horse” ridden by gun toting Jesus will be a Velociraptor.

Turns out the sword is actually a lightsaber, and no, Jesus appears to be riding a T. Rex. Cite.

[MacCat]

@Snowboarder_Bo

Turns out the sword is actually a lightsaber, and no, Jesus appears to be riding a T. Rex. Cite.

Giant Jesus or T. rexette?

[BrainGlutton]

@elucidator

You may remember him from some years past, when he appeared in full uniform to lecture a fundamentalist group on his Christian approach to Islamic terrorism, how he told them flat out that their Allah was bullshit and his God was the real deal, and that’s how he knew he would win.

Somebody tell him how the Crusades ended.

[jayjay]

@Snowboarder_Bo

Tom DeLay is a Baptist. Baptists don’t believe in a loving or benevolent god, they believe in a just god.

For large and subjective values of “just”.

[Lobohan]

@Rick_Kitchen

I wonder if the fact that the Constitution has amendments means that God isn’t omnipotent after all.

God is omnipotent, but has an IQ of 90.

[Lobohan]

@BrainGlutton

Somebody tell him how the Crusades ended.

Saladin was a secret Christian.

[Miller]

@Lobohan

God is omnipotent, but has an IQ of 90.

“In the beginning, there was darkness. And then God spake, ‘Stupid is as stupid does.’”

[Lobohan]

@Miller

“In the beginning, there was darkness. And then God spake, ‘Stupid is as stupid does.’”

"Shit, those lizards is getting out of hand, fuck, they’re everywhere. Uhh… uhh… ASTEROID BLAST!

"Okay, now we’re cool. Uh, okay, let me whip up a human out of ashes. Oh, shit… he’s lonely. Uh… fuck… where did I put the list of amino acids I used on him?

"Oh, wait, I bet his rib has his DNA profile, yeah, just rip that out… good, okay… mmm… she looks good. Dem titties!

"Uh… you both are in the garden, no matter what you do, don’t eat that fruit, because it will let you know right from wrong.

"Wait, shit… they don’t know that disobeying orders is wrong! Fuck fuck fuck… oh shit, they ate from the tree. I’m fucked. I knew making that snake for me to talk to was dumb. Why did I do that?

[GIGObuster]

Things like this make always wonder if the pet theory I have that writing in the long run was very bad for religion is correct, instead of remaining an oral tradition with a mechanism to change with the times (the Rabbis and preachers with old ideas die eventually) it got saddled with the idea that the rules were unchanging and never following the changes of the society they are part of. They managed to buy a lot of time while most of the population could not read.

Every time I read genesis I get struck by the “freeze frame” moment in history when the first writers put together 2 or more narratives, capturing the moment when two narratives of creation existed and in the process of changing, new ideas like accepting equality among sexes (the later narration reporting Adam and Eve created at the same time and theoretically with the same rights) were put together with earlier ones that claimed that Eve came from Adam and was supposed to be always controlled by the patriarchy. (And eventually the old version prevailed in practice).

But I digress.

As for doing the moral thing, House Republicans of Virginia do not care if poor people suffer.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/virginia-politics/house-and-senate-in-virginia-at-loggerheads-over-medicaid-expansion/2014/02/20/7bdf47f0-9a3d-11e3-b931-0204122c514b_story.html

RICHMOND — Virginia’s Republican-controlled House of Delegates voted overwhelmingly Thursday to reject Medicaid expansion, signaling in the strongest terms yet that the chamber does not intend to budge on the marquee issue of this year’s legislative session.

With the 67 to 32 vote, an impasse is seen as all but inevitable with the state Senate, where Democrats and moderate Republicans have joined to support expanding Medicaid as allowed under the Affordable Care Act.

McAuliffe has put enormous political capital into the effort, hoping both for a budget windfall and to help validate a Democratic president’s key achievement. But for Republicans, the stakes are equally high. GOP leaders must heed the will of their small-government base, but they are also deeply sensitive to the national view that they are the party of “no.”

At its core, the debate is less a partisan brawl than a fight within the Republican Party. On one side is a conservative House caucus sticking to long-held principles of limited government and lower spending; on the other is a moderate group of GOP senators mindful of the changing political landscape of Virginia and motivated more by pragmatism than ideology to take advantage of federal largess.

“A house divided against itself would be better than this!” Lego movie Lincoln.

[Fear_Itself]

@Snowboarder_Bo

Turns out the sword is actually a lightsaber, and no, Jesus appears to be riding a T. Rex. Cite.

Johnny Depp is Jesus?

[Snowboarder_Bo]

@Fear_Itself

Johnny Depp is Jesus?

Oh, I’m sure Tim Burton is working on a wacky gothed-up zombie Jesus movie, starring Johnny Depp and Mrs. Burton.

[elucidator]

@Snowboarder_Bo

… and Mrs. Burton.

Elizabeth Taylor? But she’s…oh, right, zombies.

[kaylasdad99]

@Ludovic

Originally Posted by Batshit crazy
I know, everybody says that was a metaphor. IT WAS NOT A METAPHOR!

[…]

And the sword today is an AR-15

If it weren’t a metaphor wouldn’t he actually be buying real swords?

And apparently, swords that cost as much as you can get for a cloak on ebay.

[Robot_Arm]

@Lobohan

"Shit, those lizards is getting out of hand, fuck, they’re everywhere. Uhh… uhh… ASTEROID BLAST!

"Okay, now we’re cool. Uh, okay, let me whip up a human out of ashes. Oh, shit… he’s lonely. Uh… fuck… where did I put the list of amino acids I used on him?

"Oh, wait, I bet his rib has his DNA profile, yeah, just rip that out… good, okay… mmm… she looks good. Dem titties!

"Uh… you both are in the garden, no matter what you do, don’t eat that fruit, because it will let you know right from wrong.

I set the thing in motion
I liked to watch it spin
And now and then I added an amino
I filled it up with ocean
And sprinkled something in
And suddenly there’s Barney, Fred, and Dino
There never was a recipe
That seemed like such a waste
I started it organically
At least, organic-based
You take a bunch of proteins
And you season it to taste

From Doug’s Resurrection: Part Two, by Uncle Bonsai.