I hope you are not the same person you were before you met her—that you have learned and grown from the relationship. Now is the time to keep learning and growing. Work on yourself. Explore existing interests or develop some new ones. Become a stronger person—physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, spiritually. If you work at becoming a more interesting guy, other women will be interested in you—and whether they are or not, you’ll have a better life.
Quoted so that everyone reads this twice.
Good advice? In the Pit?
Shenanigans!
Trust, but verify!
Well, you probably didn’t really start looking for a mate until you were about 23-25.
So you’ll probably only have to wait 16 years. Much better!
Best advice I can give you. Stop trying to make a relationship happen. Go out, do hobbies, make friends, learn to love yourself. Once you do that the relationships will happen.
Cliche or not, there is someone for everyone and she was NOT it, but you can and will find someone better.
- Assume yes. Always. The next person you sleep with is gonna want a clean bill of health anyway.
- Over a breakup? People always talk shit about their exes. Most people are smart enough to write it off as sour grapes, absent other evidence.
- Check your credit report
- Every single day. Oh, you mean more than usual? What the hell sort of people do you date?
- Probably not.
a) You emotionally invested in the wrong person.
b) You might have paid more attention. Next time you will.
c) Date better people, and pay more attention.
Where you stand is wherever you stood before, except by yourself. A little sadder for a while, hopefully a little wiser forever. Learning this does not require reading violating anyone else’s privacy.
- Probably, but still good info to have. For instance, should you get back a positive report, who else needs to go see the doc?
- Usually. But there are enough ugly incidents that make at least some investigation understandable.
- Not exactly a comprehensive answer.
- Read the news. It’s full of crazy shit. It only takes one nut. A modicum of investigation is not reasonable, IMO.
- You’re presuming that he won’t even try. I presume that he may.
Wisdom comes from knowledge.
Not saying that his checking up was particularly admirable, but I definately don’t take the condemnatory veiw that you have.
Sounds like you’ve had a lucky escape mate,nows the time to put it behind you and get on with your life.
Try out new experiences,go scuba diving,do a parachute jump,learn French.
You say that you haven’t many friends,get out there and make new ones,different ones,start living again.
And for gods sake don’t fall for someone on the rebound.
Good luck mate.
“The Price of Wisdom is paid in Blood” - me
As stated by many above, use it to learn about yourself, to make yourself a better person. Self-honesty is the hardest thing anyone can ever do. The worst parts of it are not just learning to accept what you don’t want to accept about yourself, but coming to understand the things you’ve always believed about yourself that are NOT true.
Something tells me you’d be marketing it under false pretenses.
Oh stop with the whiny shit, (this is the pit right), I’m overweight, I’m hairy, I drink, I smoke, I work too much, I don’t do dishes, I drive a piece of shit, I don’t even own a button up shirt or a pair of pants that aren’t jeans, and I generally hate people, especially liars and users.
And I’m incredibly picky about women, no liars, no kids, no losers, no dip shits, must get along with their folks and when I put my mind to it, I can find a good woman. so can you.
Now… I’m not saying you NEED to find a woman, what you need to do, and some have already said it, is get yourself happy with yourself, and get on an even keel.
I’ve found about 9 months after a break up that really hurts, then I’m getting ready, though I did go on a self prescribed break from woman for 3 years, and, woops what do you know, I accidentally slipped and fell into a vagina, that ended, badly due to outside circumstances, but woke up the testosterone again. Took about 9 months before I was ready, a few months later I found a sweet heart.
She’s smart, sweet, cute as a button(that means hot!), good job, house NO KIDS, my age, funny as hell, perfectly freaky and tasty. And I’m still fat, smoke, drink too much, work too much, I still hate doing dishes, though I did buy a few shirts with collars and a few pairs of black jeans.
Don’t discount yourself, you can’t be that big of a whatever you think you are.
Oh, the pain part, yeah it hurts, last year, in the first part of my 9 months, I lost 40 pounds and really drank and smoked too much, 4 packs a day and 20 beers, my stomach shrunk and a single burrito would last me 3 days, if I ate at all. I would go weeks on end staying at work(I own the place), I didn’t even want to come home, hurt too much. My business partner would make me go home every so often (he refused to stop and feed my cat after a while)
The pain goes away, a piece of ass isn’t going to make it better, beer isn’t going to make it better, punishing yourself isn’t going to make it better. Time makes it better, doing fun things helps make it better, doing thing to improve yourself makes it better.
You will eventually get over it, maybe not completely get over it, but the pain goes away, it may spike on occasion for awhile, but it does subside.
Keep your head up, you’re not the first, and you won’t be the last, though I’m sure it feels like it.
Please, if I learned I had an STD from a cheating SO she and the dude would be the last people on the planet I’d tell, fuck 'em.
DianaG’s tough love aside, I agree there is nothing you could learn that would help.