Why, you live near a park?
This situation was also a scene in a movie. I can’t remember which movie though…I’m thinking it was Moscow on the Hudson with Robin Williams. Hmmmmm.
Nope. Find one of the “Where did you get your name?” threads for the whole sordid story. 
I was at a networking event one night - local RCGA - to promote my business. The RCGA draws a lot of execs like CEOs, CFOs and the like. I have a really long, difficult-to-pronounce last name which gets me a lot of questions, like “Oh, what nationality is that name?” No problem. That I can understand. So, when a couple of women commented on my name, I wasn’t surprised. They asked how I got the name and I said that my husband is from India. Their response was, “Oh! India! That’s where Mother Theresa’s from. Have you met her?”
I started laughing because I thought they were kidding. Unfortunately, they weren’t. I didn’t have the heart to tell them that Mother Theresa is dead and that I’ve still never been to India (though we’re planning a trip for next year). Instead, I smiled politely, said, “No, I haven’t had the pleasure.” Then they asked if they have TV and running water in India. I smiled, said, “Yes, actually they do. Um, well, it was nice meeting you…” then scuttled off as quickly as possible.
Received by e-mail last weekend:
“How did the Earth get to be as old as it is?”
Ummmmmmm . . . I’ve been trying for a week to come up with a snappy answer.
Patience?
Is it just me, or can anyone else hear Ralph Wiggum’s voice saying these lines?
My favourite doing customer service (hours of stupid question fun) was a customer asking me how to send and letter in the mail from Holland to Ireland.
Well, you take an envelope…
I didn’t want to go into an explanation. I sort of figured that Mother Theresa would be a common enough figure for people to at least know that she was dead if not where she was from. Maybe those ladies were watching all the footage about Princess Di that week. Her death really overshadowed Mother Theresa’s.
I related this story in another thread, but it bears re-telling:
Working at a gourmet cheese counter, a young-ish woman asked me for a grating cheese, but she was bored with parmesan. I suggested Sap Sago, a tasty green cheese.
Obvious puzzlement. “Why is it green?”
Did I tell her the color comes from Alpen clover? Hell no.
“It’s from the moon. It’s moon cheese.”
Big eyes.
Open mouth.
“REALLY?!?”
:smack:
I work at Dollar Tree. Every surface in my store is covered with signs that state Everything $1. Evey day I get asked “How much is this?” I think I win.
I’ve related this one is another thread, but it is just too stupid and bears repeating.
At work, a group of us are discussing chest surgery. One woman pipes up, “They have to go through the ribs? The ribs are up here? (grabs chest area) I thought thye were down here. (grabs stomach) I thought up here (grabs chest again) was all boobs and lungs and stuff!”
A tale I may have told earlier. (Actually, I know I have told it before, I just don’t know if I ever told it on this message board).
Context: In Africa. Actually, at dinner in either the Khwai River Lodge or it’s sister safari camp. (The Khwai River Lodge is noted for being a Pit Stop on a recent episode of the Amazing Race).
The light was dim. I had on a green sweatshirt with green writing on the front.
Travel Companion: Where did you go to college? I can’t read what it says on your shirt.
me (mentally) : Huh? What does that have to do with anything.
Me (outloud): I went to college at School X, but that isn’t what my shirt says. My sweatshirt says Cherokee.
(note: I bought the sweatshirt at Target for $5 on the 75% off rack. It’s a nice quality shirt, even if not terribly attractive).
Travel Companion: Oh.
Grandmother: It’s just a brand name, it doesn’t mean anything. She’s not Cherokee, not that there’s anything wrong with that.
me(mentally): Uh, Grandma, you protest a bit much. Nothing like people who claim so much that something doesn’t matter that they make you more concious of it than you would have been anyway.
Me (outloud): Well, actualy, it is just a brand name, but I do have about this much Cherokee blood. (holding finger and thumb an inch apart).
Grandmother: **Well, where did you get that? ** I’m not Cherokee and Grandpa certainly didn’t have any Cherokee blood.
Me: From my mother, her mother’s grandmother was Cherokee. Or maybe it was her grandmother I don’t remember quite how many generations it was.
Grandmother: Well. I certainly didn’t know that.
Note: She may never have known. On the other hand, it is not impossible that she was told years ago and had forgotten. But the funniest part was when she asked me where my Cherokee blood had come from, because it certainly didn’t come from her or grandpa. I mean, isn’t it obvious? If it didn’t come from her . . . It must have come from one of the OTHER set of grandparents, right?
Working in a libray putting books away when some one comes up and asks “do you have it?”.
I asked back “What?”
they respond “It”.
After a couple of minutes I realize they are talking about “It” by Stephen King and so them where “It” would be. “It” was out. I inform then of this. They walk a way. 2 minutes later I hear then ask a co-worker “Do you have it?”
They never could never understand why I found then reffering to the book by title alone confusing.
A few years ago I was at a local lake, standing on a dock leaning against a rail, fishing pole in hand. I was watching my bobber which was about 30 feet from me. A cute blond gal, maybe 18, walks up and stands next to me.
“Are you fishing for fish?”
It was one of those situations where the answer is so obvious you don’t know what to say.
A young lady I assisted at the library recently approached me to ask where the biography section was. This isn’t a stupid question, but the library is an Academic Research Library- there isn’t really a biography section. I asked her if there was a particular book she was interested in “The one on the bulliten board above the printer”. I finally had to have her walk me over so that I could see the board in question. She pointed out the book cover to the book she was interested in, I walked back to the ref desk and looked up the book (someone else had already checked it out). But I couldn’t help think, “If you are interested in a biography of a particular person, how hard is it to remember the name (of the book or of the person) long enough to mention it to the reference librarian?”
There was a similar scene in Bananas! with Woody Allen
That one reminds me of Mad Magazine’s Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions:
Reporter to Old Lady: “To what do you attribute your old age?”
Old Lady to Reporter: “To the fact that I haven’t died yet!”
I guess that’s as good an answer as any!
They’re probably so used to saying it that they don’t even think about it. After all, it’s happened to me at least 3 times this year alone (I do the occasional food run for my department).
This isn’t a question but rather a stupid statement I made when I was younger (but still old enough to know better).
My mom and I were walking to the bus stop after watching a movie in which some horses were shot and killed. My mom was distressed at the way the animals must have been treated on the set since they were falling down all over the place. I told her not to worry because the horses must have stunt doubles :smack:
A stupid question (again from my very own mouth)
My fiancee’s brother had been living with us for about half of the last year. So, his phone calls have been coming to our house. One day in Feb. of this year, his boss called me to ask if the twins were born yet. To which I replied, “what are you talking about? He’s not pregnant.” :wally In my defense, I was sick and she woke me up when she called.