Sociopaths do not want to change. Everything they do is fine, the way they see it. If you don’t see it that way, screw you; that’s your problem.
“The rules don’t apply to ME” is their motto.
More like “the rules are for SUCKERS!”.
Wow. What a sad story. I’m so sorry. 
How horrible. I’m so sorry your family is going through this. I wish you peace.
What a terrible situation.
I wonder if it might be worth contacting the funeral home to try to explain the situation and ask if they could arrange for your wife to have some private time alone with the son’s body as a way to say goodbye without the bullshit drama over the funeral. I am not sure about the legalities of who would be entitled to access to the body in this kind of situation, but it definitely does not seem fair that this Jackass can keep a mother away from her child like this. It sickens me, as a mother myself, to think of anyone keeping me from my boy at a time like that.
It wouldn’t surprise me if your wife does have a legal right to have access to the body. Please try to look into this for your wife since I imagine she probably doesn’t have the strength to try to deal with shit like this, but I really think it’s worth at least contacting the funeral home if not a lawyer to talk about what her rights are here.
As far as the issue of blaming your wife for the suicide, even IF he had said it was your wife’s fault (which sounds far less likely than the Jackass family just saying that to be jackasses) , it sounds like many of his problems in life probably stemmed from being raised by an abusive asshole. It sounds like your wife did the best she could. This is absolutely not her fault, no matter what anyone else thinks.
I suspect that many of the people he’s trying to tell about this being your wife’s fault know that he’s just being a jackass, though, since it’s not like he has confined his jackassery to his family. I know I’d be thinking “What a jackass” if some violent criminal thug like this was trying to tell me about how everything was someone else’s fault.
This is severely out of line for this thread. This is a warning for you for being a jerk.
Thank you for being there for your family. I hope the counselor is a good one.
We were to the counselor, seems like a good lady. Obviously one visit isn’t gonna fix everything but it is a start.
Also heard from some people who live down there that Jackass has had multiple instance of running around drunk, waiving guns and threatening suicide or to kill other people.
Saw a pic and Jackasses looks like a methhead.
We didn’t go to the funeral. We are planning our own memorial out here.
Wife is doing OK considering the situation.
I am a wreck but will get through it.
Slee
Since we hadn’t heard from you in a couple days I was concerned. Glad to see you found a counselor. Also, vent here as needed.
Why isn’t Jackass in prison? Is his family that wealthy, or well connected? Or is everyone that afraid of him, a la Ken Rex McElroy?
My condolences to all of you. 
Until they finally piss off the wrong person.
Sending my best wishes. What an horrible horrible situation. I think it was a wise decision to have your own remembrance in your own way. When you are raw with grief, evil shit like the Jackasses of this world dole out, hurts even harder.
It is a small town, population roughly 30,000. I suspect that Jackass gets away with a lot because a) his cousin is a judge and b) no one wants to screw with the crazy family.
We have had, or more accurately, my wife has had a bunch of people from that area contact her and state that Jackass is, well, a jackass. My wife is getting a bunch of support from folks down there. Also, in the ‘Yay, about time!’ category, a lot of people are very, very pissed at Jackass and I suspect that he is going to find people aren’t going to put up with his shit anymore.
T, at one point, was befriended by a really nice guy who got him into the church* and started down the right path. T had a tattoo done of one of the churches sayings, which one I don’t know. Anyway, the Reverend who did the funeral asked Jackass about it and Jackass lied to him. The Reverend has been made aware of the lie and he is pissed.
We have had calls from other of Jackasses family members and they are pissed at the way Jackass has been behaving.
It would be nice if Jackass gets what is coming to him. Karma and all that. But my main worry is the wife doing better.
It is going to be a long road and a lot of the stuff from the past with Jackass will come up. I am hoping that, after a bunch of counseling, she will be at peace with both her sons suicide and the crap that Jackass pulled through out the years.
Slee
So more drama.
Yesterday I got a call at work from my wife. She was in full on freak out mode.
It turns out that her daughter, whom I will call D, decided that she really didn’t want to be down there anymore, more on that in a minute. D has three kids with BabyDaddy. BabyDaddy is mid-30’s, smokes a lot of pot and works as a dishwasher.
We had D out a few years ago, she said she wanted to move out here, get a job and get some schooling. We said she could stay with us but there were some rules in place like get a job, save money and move out. D didn’t abide the rules and basically treated it as a vacation, never got a job and in fact never applied*. It ended rather badly and she went back to BabyDaddy.
Fast forward to the present. After Ts death and the way Jackass and B handled the situation opened Ds eyes. She called my wife and said that she wants to come out here but, this time, she wants to get her housing lined up (she is in section 8 now) and TANF (or whatever program it is that she is on) transferred out here. She wants to get a place to live, a job and get her GED. Where we live you can actually do ok without a degree if you work hard. She wants to come out and not have us support her, she wants to do it on her own. Yay.
Somehow Jackass and B found out about this idea. So, what is a jackass to do?
The answer is simple. Threaten D, your daughter, with taking her kids away by getting Child Protective Services give you the kids. Simple, right? She wants to leave, you don’t want her to go so tell her that you will take her kids away from her.
The stupid thing is that they cannot do what they are claiming. If Child Services gets involved, Jackass won’t have any say in the matter. But it is a good threat.
Now D hasn’t been the most motivated person and she made some bad choices regarding BabyDaddy. However she has been trying, not very successfully, on getting her shit together.
D called my wife and told her what Jackass said. This caused my wife to flashback to what happened to her when she left Jackass. She totally freaked.
I got her calmed down and I am planning.
We are getting a hold of a women’s shelter out here to see if we can get D into a place. We are working with her to do so without anyone knowing. We have talked to a lawyer friend who is investigating what we need to do on the legal front.
Additionally, it is now my goal to make Jackasses life a living hell. Legally of course. Before I was staying back and supporting my wife because this shit was a once a year kinda thing. Now I am pissed.
I am gathering reports of Jackass and Bs crazy behavior. My wife knows multiple people down there who have seen Jackass running around drunk with a gun threatening either to kill himself (which, all things considered, would probably be best for everyone involved in this fucking mess) or kill other people. They have seen all sorts of shit, abuse, moonshine parties, drugs, etc. The people she knows have been too scared of Jackass to do anything. Well, that is going to change.
Once I get all the info gathered, off to the lawyer to see the best way to get the info to the police and the state child services division as Jackass and B have four other kids. Also the information will be going to their church (apparently they go every Sunday then go home and get drunk. Booze for Jezzzus!) and their family members*.
There are some financial things that may cause them a lot of pain as well. I am checking on those but not sure if much can be done. I suspect with a few phone calls Jackasses life will become a lot more difficult when his debtors find out that he is buying new dirtbikes and boats instead of paying off debts. Plus the credit cards in his kids names. I suspect that is an ongoing thing…
Oh, and to make things even more bizarre, BabyDaddy is a black guy. Jackass is a full on, blatant, in your face racist. So if Jackass got control of the kids their life would be hell.
Slee
Good Lord slee, that’s…that’s just crazy…
But I’ll give you this. I looooooooove that you’re starting to fight back. Fuck this guy. You do everything in your legal power to make that dude’s life hell. Go all Batman on the city if you have to!
I suspect I’m not alone in saying you’ll get nothing but support from me.
This. I don’t know why people have to be so mean.
A friend of my wife just had her husband walk out on her, and also walk out on all his responsibilities and obligations. She has no resources or money. He has carefully arranged things so that it is clear he is trying to retain all of their assets (their house), while exposing her to all his recent financial risks (running-up credit card bill). Asshat.
Be strong for your wife and gentle on yourself.
Do they have kids?
When I was in college, I worked with several guys who said they planned to get married with the intentions of doing exactly this to their wives after she’s popped out a few kids. :mad: One of them said he had to live briefly in a homeless shelter with his mom and siblings after his dad did this, and I replied, “Why would you want to do that to your own kids?” He said, “Dad had a 17-year-old girlfriend.”
:smack:
I don’t think he was joking, either.