Dear Ayesha,
I wish to extend my sympathy with the others.
I too have lost some dear friends this way. My heart goes out to you and your family.
(deborah) blueslady
One of my brothers shot himself in the head when he was 24. It still haunts me, and the rest of the family, to this day, and I suppose it always will.
For a long time the only thing we could think of when thinking about him was the horrific way he died. It takes time to be able to think about the good things without having them ravaged by the unspeakably ugly ending.
Nothing anyone can say will help, but sympathy and healing thoughts of everyone who understands are with you and your family. You and yours will be mostly in shock for a while, so feel free to come back here and share/cry/rage/scream with us more when it wears off and you feel like talking. Ready ears will always be here.
My God Ayesha, I am so sorry. I have been fortunate enough to avoid this particular tragedy among my close family, but I imagine that you are going bugshit. I would give almost anything to be able to pop into folks lives 5 minutes before they make that mistake. 5 minutes…that’s all I would ask.<sigh> I am here via e-mail if you need to talk. If you send me your number, I would be glad to call, my dime.
I want to thank all of you so very much for your thoughts, words and prayers.
You have truely helped to restore my faith in humanity. It really does help to know that compassion has not become a dirty word.
I wish I had known what was going through her mind, maybe I could have helped her somehow. Then again maybe not.
I still feel the same way about my father. He took his own life when I was 13. I felt guilty and angry for a very long time. I finally realized that there wasn’t anything I could have done.
It’s so horrible to me to imagine a young person ending their life, when it’s all ahead of them.
My sympathies go out to you Ayesha, as well as for all the others who have lost somebody in this way.
I still feel the same way about my father. He took his own life when I was 13. I felt guilty and angry for a very long time. I finally realized that there wasn’t anything I could have done.
It’s so horrible to me to imagine a young person ending their life, when it’s all ahead of them.
My sympathies go out to you Ayesha, as well as for all the others who have lost somebody in this way.
Oh, Ayesha honey, I am so sorry; I ache for you.
You and yours are in my prayers. Having 3 teenage daughters of my own, this hits close to home.
{{{{{{{{{Ayesha, Belinda, and family}}}}}}}}}
You are all in my prayers, this instant.
Sometimes we all make bad decsisions. I am truly sorry that this was hers. It is a pity that you have to go through all of this. One of my friends considered it, but thank Allah we were able to convince him to stay with us. My prayers go out to you in your time of need.
I can hardly type for the tears in my eyes. I ache for the unimaginable pain you and your family must be going through right now. If there is anything at all I can do, please let me know. Email me, and I will call you on the phone, if you want to talk/yell/cry whatever.
{{{{{{{Ayesha, and family}}}}}}}}}}
And to all of the other ones who posted about their losses:
{{{{{{{{GroupHugs}}}}}}}}}}
Sigh. I will give my kids an extra hug today. And my hubby, who I need to go get from the airport now. You are in our prayers, all of you.
Ayesha, I don’t know what to say, having never been in the same situation myself, but your family has all my sympathies.
The lesson I’m getting from this, is I am going to make sure I keep in touch with my family (they’re in Europe) more often. You never know when it will be too late to be able to talk to that special person.
((((((Ayesha))))))
I will be thinking of you.
{{{{{{{{{Ayesha}}}}}}}}}}
Your tears are our tears.
We will keep you in prayer.
–Kalél
Sudden ends are so hard to accept, its just impossible to believe it.
You start thinking was there any way that it could be differant, like maybe you wish you had made that phone call or perhaps it was that missed visit.
I know the feeling, it just makes other things seem so petty and trivial and you lose interest.
Just don’t envelop yourself in some other activity like work ,face it and evaluate what happened.
This won’t be easy but acceptance is the only way.
Just remember that you are not by yourself my thoughts are with you.
This is Melin, posting under my husband’s name, and praying that I will be forgiven, just this once, by the administration for doing so (and that they won’t yank his name and posting privileges because of it). Forgive me, Ed and Tuba, but this is important:
I posted these links last night over in Opal’s board (3FMB). I wanted to post them here, as well, because there are people here who do not read there. These are links to support groups and help for those who are left behind after a loved one commits suicide. They can help you find ways to deal with the pain, to come to terms with the loss, and to find your own peace.
And please, my friends, remember that IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. You did not cause your loved one to make a final, irrational choice to deal with the pain they were experiencing in such a permanent way. Be gentle with yourselves.
Here’s three links:
http://www.suicidology.org/survivorsofsuicide.htm
http://www.suicidology.org/survivorssupport.htm
http://www.support-group.com/cgi-bin/sg/get_links?suicide
I’d start with the first one, it has some really good stuff on its first page.
Again, my apologies to the administration; I promise I would only do this in this type of a situation.
Love,
-Melin
::grumbles:: Never could do links right, let me try again.
http://www.suicidology.org/survivorsofsuicide.htm
http://www.support-group.com/cgi-bin/sg/get_links?suicide
Thank you all again,
Melin/Highlander thank you for taking the time to post those links I will pass them on to members of my family.
I want you all to know that your concern and caring has meant so much to my family and myself .
This is never easy for anyone, but knowing that there are caring people like all of you both here and at FFF make it a little easier for those left to carry on.
On behalf of my family I thank you all.
The worst thing is, you probably couldn’t have. This is one of the hardest things to ever have to accept, that no amount of your love and caring and concern would have been worth a damn. You always think back to things you could have done but didn’t, never realizing that none of those things could have made a difference. The guilt is tremendous, and to a certain extent, it always will be.
You and your family are in my thoughts.
{{{Just don’t envelop yourself in some other activity like work…}}}—casdave
As a permanent refuge?
No.
But sometimes that’s all you have to maintain some semblance of sanity, Dave. In time, perhaps the enormity of such a tragedy can be faced, but not all at once.
In dodging the sheer magnitude of a tidal wave, one must run for high ground; then resolve to swim against the remnant of the calamity that reaches you–or risk being carried away by it all.
In the end, these are the things that would destroy us–were it not for our friends.
Ayesha,
So sorry to hear, love. I understand exactly how you feel. You and your family, cousin and friends will be in my tara practice tonight. May you find peace, and may all show you the compassion you so deserve.
E.
Ayesha, I feel terrible that I missed this thread when this tragedy first happened. I am certain that your heartache is still as deep as it was 2 weeks ago, though, and I wanted to offer you and your family my deepest condolences.
Both my sister and I have lost friends at very young ages to suicide. I empathize with the guilt you feel for not having seen how close she was to this. I understand the torment of wishing you could go back and talk to her one last time so maybe you could give her the hope she so desperately needed.
Though words can never take away the pain you are suffering, I hope that the sympathy shown here from your friends and fellow posters gives you some comfort in this time of sadness and loss.
May your niece’s soul rest peacefully among the angels.