"Superman Returns"

Cafe Society
1

–in about a week. I honestly want to be jazzed about this movie, and I’m just not. It worries me. With the recent series of blockbusting comic-book movies over the last few years, particularly the two excellent **Spider-Man ** films and this year’s amazing reboot of the Batman franchise, this is something of a Golden Age for the superhero mythology as reflected in popular culture. At last Hollywood has apparently begun to internalize the lesson that superhero movies do much better when the source material is treated with a degree of respect rather than played for laughs. There really could be no better time to relaunch Superman’s film career. And yet, what promotional materials I’ve seen so far fill me with grave unease.

From what I understand, this new film is a sequel of sorts to the first two Christopher Reeve movies, which seems like an odd choice to begin with, although apparently they are ignoring the latter two movies (a decision that I can certainly get behind). Brandon Routh portrays a Superman that has returned to Earth after having been missing for five years. This would be fine, except for the fact that Brandon Routh is visibly about 19 years old and weighs about 120 pounds. Just look at those pencil-thin arms. This is exactly why people don’t believe that Clark Kent is Superman; because they think that if Clark dressed up in the costume, he would look like* that.* The cape looks like it weighs more than he does!

(What the hell is that cape made of, anyway? Giant squid hide? And isn’t Superman’s cape supposed to be, um,* red?* I’m mildly colorblind myself, but even I can tell that cape is more of a grape juice color. How is it possible to screw up the color red?)

Kate Bosworth portrays star reporter Lois Lane. It’s been five years since Superman broke off his relationship with her, and she’s now about 16 years old. Respected careerwoman preparing for an interview, or trying to pick out a dress for junior prom? You decide.

I realize that the Smallville TV series is still fresh in everyone’s mind, but if you’re going to cast your movie with actors that are still young enough to get carded while trying to buy beer, then why are you trying to make a sequel to movies where those characters were about twice as old? That’s like trying to make a new Indiana Jones sequel with Ashton Kutcher in the title role. I’m mildly annoyed by the implication that audiences wouldn’t watch a Superman sequel starring older actors. Contrariwise, if you really want to target the younger crowd, then why not reboot the series entirely?

I’m a big fan of Superman, and it bothers me that I’m so unenthused about the upcoming film. I have serious qualms. Is it possible for a whisper-thin prepubescent actor to successfully portray the Man of Steel on the big screen? Every new ad for the film seems to have a new detail that rubs me the wrong way. They had a close-up picture of Brandon Routh in costume on the cover of this week’s Entertainment magazine, and apparently the sculpted relief S-shield on his chest is imprinted with a pattern of thousands of* tinier S-shields.* For God’s sake, why?! Was Bryan Singer hearing voices when he signed off on this stuff? “Remember, Superman should have brown hair rather than black, and the costume should be covered with tiny subliminal images. Oh, and make sure the cape is a subdued plum color, just like in the comics. The fabric should be nice and fleshy, with a translucent scrotumy appearance. Redrum.”

At this point I’m grasping at straws, looking for any excuse to spur me into the theater. Please, explain to me why I’m mistaken in my anxiety. Tell me good things about the film. Give me hope.

2

“Scrotumy”?

3

You know, those tummies which hang over the belt so far they look like big nutsacks.

Enjoy,
Steven

4

All I know is that Kevin Spacey is the perfect choice to play Lex Luthor, and I’m rooting for him.

5

Routh is exactly the same age Christopher Reeve was when he played Superman.

He doesn’t look 19. He looks like a superhero.

6

Early reviews are overwhelmingly good. Routh’s performance in paticular is praised (although he’s pretty much channeling Reeve). Singer’s direction is being called “lyrical”. Spacey’s Luthor, while in the Hackman mode, is more menancing. It looks to be really really good.

I’ll cede the point regarding the actors’ youth. It is an odd choice given the film’s premise. But it’s a practical one. It’s not that audiences wouldn’t accept an older Lois and Clark. It’s that older actors wouldn’t be as able to make sequels in the years to come.

All the criticisms I’ve heard from the very begininng have been distressingly… Superficial. Routh only looks a lot like Reeve, not exactly. Therefore he must suck. The costume is not a dead-on reproduction of the comics. Singer has no respect for the character. It seems to me that people are almost looking for a reason to dislike this movie, have been ever since Routh was cast. Add in some homophobia (Singer’s gay, therefore Routh must have been cast via blowjob), and it gets pretty nasty. I’m not trying to be snarky to you in paticular, Terrifel, but I’m kind of sick of the argument.

If the movie sucks, then it will fail at levels far more serious than the costuming. Even if you don’t like this costume, surely you must concede that it could still succeed despite it.

This was almost Superman.* Look at that, look back at Routh, and you’ll appreciate Singer’s version a whole lot more, I think.

*No, that’s not Bizarro or the Cyborg Superman. It’s what Tim Burton wanted to do to the Man of Steel when he was attatched to the project. Even the cape was a massive compromise.

7

Early reviews are overwhelmingly good. Routh’s performance in paticular is praised (although he’s pretty much channeling Reeve). Singer’s direction is being called “lyrical”. Spacey’s Luthor, while in the Hackman mode, is more menancing. It looks to be really really good.

I’ll cede the point regarding the actors’ youth. It is an odd choice given the film’s premise. But it’s a practical one. It’s not that audiences wouldn’t accept an older Lois and Clark. It’s that older actors wouldn’t be as able to make sequels in the years to come.

All the criticisms I’ve heard from the very begininng have been distressingly… Superficial. Routh only looks a lot like Reeve, not exactly. Therefore he must suck. The costume is not a dead-on reproduction of the comics. Singer has no respect for the character. It seems to me that people are almost looking for a reason to dislike this movie, have been ever since Routh was cast. Add in some homophobia (Singer’s gay, therefore Routh must have been cast via blowjob), and it gets pretty nasty. I’m not trying to be snarky to you in paticular, Terrifel, but I’m kind of sick of the argument.

If the movie sucks, then it will fail at levels far more serious than the costuming. Even if you don’t like this costume, surely you must concede that it could still succeed despite it.

This was almost Superman.* Look at that, look back at Routh, and you’ll appreciate Singer’s version a whole lot more, I think.

*No, that’s not Bizarro or the Cyborg Superman. It’s what Tim Burton wanted to do to the Man of Steel when he was attatched to the project. Even the cape was a massive compromise.

8

This is true, but the trailers I’ve seen do nothing for me. Lex Luthor, Kryptonite, trite scene where the hero all of a sudden can’t fight and gets his arse handed to him, etc. Yawn, seen it all before. Batman Begins spoiled me I guess. Now that was a friggin’ great movie.

9

I wasn’t excited about it but saw a trailer when I went to see X3 and it looks good enough that I will probably go watch.

10

I’m worried that a shaven-headed Spacey is going to make me flash back to that other bald Spacey movie, but otherwise I’m psyched.

11

:confused:

12

Se7en

13

Se7en

although, come to think of it, he plays himself playing Dr Evil in a movie in Austin Powers:Goldmember, too. Is he hetting typecast as a bald baddie? :slight_smile:

14

I’m with you, Terrifel. I’m hoping to be pleasantly surprised, but the previews just don’t look very good. The only review I’ve seen is by my friend Barry, who writes for the Superman Homepage and also contributed to the Superman documentary on A&E. His assessment was predictably gushy. Great guy, but he’s such a passionate Superman fan he sees everything through rose-colored glasses where the Man of Steel is concerned.

I agree that the lead actors are far too young. Routh may be the same age Reeve was, and that would be fine if they were starting fresh, but that’s too young to have had a significant superhero carreer and then disappear for five years.

A big “meh” to Kate Bosworth as Lois, too. She’s kinda bland looking, IMO. Not that she’s not pretty, she’s just pretty in a generic, dime-a-dozen, indistinguishable-from-a-thousand-other-Hollywood-starlets sort of way. She looks like she’s fresh out of college, and I’m not buying her as the star reporter for a major metropolitan newspaper. At best she’d be doing fluff pieces or obituaries or something. Furthermore, from what I’ve seen of the previews, her character seems kinda whiny; I see none of the fire that Lois should have. To me she just looks and acts like she should be on Dawson’s Creek or One Tree Hill or whatever the youngsters are watching these days.

And I could really, really, really do without the precocious five-year-old kid. Dear Og, I hope I don’t hate his guts.

15

I’m right there with ya.
You know what other movie had great early reviews? King Kong. And while that movie did good at the box office it never really met box office expectations.

16

which I never understood, King Kong was fantastic.

17

I’m a little worried about the movie, too, and can’t seem to get excited about it. X3 was a real disappointment to me. Ah well. We’ll see.

18

It’s a story about a giant monkey and the cruelty of humankind. Yes, the graphics and location shots were beautiful, but that doesn’t change the underlying premise of the story! Which is a giant freakin’ ape and what’s-her-face dressing scantily in an era no one would and in a season - NY winter - where it’s suicide to do so.

19

Perhaps we should wait until after seeing the movie before being too critical about it. I think the source material and Bryan Singer deserve the benefit of the doubt.

I’ve probably read some of the same reviews of Superman Returns that **Menocchio ** has, written by people who have actually seen the movie, interestingly enough. They’ve written their reviews not on the way the trailer makes them feel, nor how youthful Routh and Bosworth look, nor the way the costume deviates from the comics – they’ve written about the reverence that Singer displays for the characters and the first two Superman movies, the gorgeous set pieces, the jaw-dropping action scenes, and, most of all, how a man who is super feels living on a world populated by men and women who are not.

Reviewers as disparate as Harry Knowles, Richard Corliss, and Jeffrey Wells (who called Superman Returns the third-best movie he’s seen all year, and he’s seen dozens upon dozens) have all said that Superman Returns hits it out of the park.

20

[QUOTE=Menocchio]
This was almost Superman.QUOTE]

You will be assimilated … resistance is futile.