Survivor: Gabon - Ep. 1 (9/25/08): "Want To See The Elephant Dung?" [SPOILERS LIKELY]

I was noticing that in some shots Crystal appeared to be surprisingly tall. Which is because she is – 6’3", 175 lbs (as of 5/07). Maybe I’ll give her a break on that hill climbing. Maybe.

I love Bob Nye the Science Guy! He’s pretty spry for an old guy.

Michelle–what a bitch! I’m glad she got booted first.

I thought Charlie was just going to grab Marcus and start humping his leg or something.

Regarding the guy who went to Exile Island: I couldn’t tell how far away that sand crater was, but I sure would have scouted around a good ways before wearing myself out digging holes or scouring the bottom of the lake.

Gillian–you were “surviving” on borrowed time, you lucked out at the first TC that Michelle had completely alienated herself from the tribe. But the older, loudmouthed ladies rarely last long. Remember the season they sent the loud old lady home before the game even started?

I can’t help thinking, though, that if they’d voted out Gillian first, they might have won the second challenge. Michelle made it to the top of the mountain third. She would certainly have contributed more to pushing the ball around than “get out of the way and let someone else push” GIllian.

Booo on voting out Michelle. I liked her couldn’t-cover-her-nipple black bra and camel-toe panties. You can never need too much blurring. She very much deserved to stay, considering she was the best woman in the challenge by a huge margin.

As far as alienating the tribe, remember she was picked dead last. Hard to fault somebody if they have some residual resentment for a day or two.

How they booted the best female competitor (by far) before the worst female competitor (by far) is beyond me. The fact that the first two to get booted were women doesn’t bode well for the rest of the ladies.

Big fan of the early alliance of four, though the gay guy wears on my nerves with how femme he is. Speaking of gay guys, the straight guy he’s crushing on totally seems gay to me, his protestations notwithstanding. It went something like this:

He’s a great guy, totally cool, good looking, and I feel comfortable around him. But I don’t see it going any further than that. I’m just not going to go there; I’m here to play a game. Oh yeah, and I’m not gay.

Uh huh. That’s exactly how a straight guy explains why he’s not going to hook up with another guy.

I have to disagree. Marcus does NOT ping my gaydar. Now, that MAY be because Charlie’s blinding fabulosphere is washing out the sensors, but I don’t think that’s it.

That reminds me: although it is not an Emmy category – yet! – I give Michelle my vote for “Single Most Undignified Exit from a Reality Show,” possibly in the history of ever. How mortified my mother would be if I got voted off the island in nothing but a buff and my underpants. Underpants that earlier required pixellation!

Mine either, and mine is usually pretty good. However, I don’t doubt for one second that Marcus will flirt with anyone and anything to stay in the game as long as possible. Which is lucky for us, I guess, because even in HD, he looks good.

Oh! And thank you, CBS, for going with HD finally! Although I would have very much liked to see Palau in HD – that was some pretty nature footage (not to mention the whole Ian factor) – I am very happy with what I am seeing so far. Baby elephants! Baby gorillas! Randy’s gaping head wound!

My thought exactly.

“Hey! Let’s start with the three oldest women! Yay! Mommy power!”

:stuck_out_tongue: It’s comments like this that keep me here. I Heart You jayjay!

It only occurred to me after the fact that Gillian (good call on the Peace Corps ex-hippie multi-lingual tribal art collector useless load) was out collecting elephant dung looong before they had anything to light it with. What was it supposed to be…an objet d’art?

The Amazing Editors are giving us the impression that their little pond is full of hippos & crocodiles…when in actuality the only wildlife they’ve encountered have been fish. And they heard an elephant (which was freakin’ awesome).

And in defense of Clueless Lawyer Man…that was no crater. That was a ditch. Craters are round and shallow.

I don’t understand all the love around here for the fey gay lawyer Charlie. His idiocy was a total turn-off for me. If I was one of the other contestants, I’d be doing a candid soliloquy to the camera mocking his Valley Girl-isms: “Like, however did a guy like Charlie, like, graduate from law school? 'Cause, like, he acts less like a grown man and more like a twelve-year-old girl who, like, just wants to go to the mall and buy Hello Kitty products…” I know lots of gay guys and not one of them acts like Charlie (or would stomach a man who does.)

And was anybody else thinking that hanging out on the little pier and dangling your feet in the water might not be a good idea? Hell, there’s some wilderness areas in the U.S. (like Florida) where that can backfire on you in a big way. Haven’t these people ever watched nature programs of big predators hunting big game?

Like the crocodile that jumps out of the water and grabs a wildebeest? That would be ratings GOLD. Especially if it’s Head Wound Aloha Shirt guy (it’ll take me a while to remember names).

Notice how Marcus is keeping his profession under wraps? “I’m…uh…in the medical field.” And speaking of professions – is there a pharmaceutical sales rep EVERY season?

***Dear Crocodiles,
Please eat Randy. Kthx.
Love XOXO, rockle.

That bit with GC and Randy about boiling water was comedy.

From what I see so far, seems like Randy has a level head and I hope that he at least makes it to the merge, although his tribe will probably vote him out for being too smart, too strong, and/or making too much sense.

Is Fang trying to take the distinction of most idiotic tribe? First, with the picks, then with voting off Michelle (while they still have Gillian!), then almost voting off their strongest player, Dan. (Again, while they still have Gillian!)

I’m only about a half hour into the show, but Kota rocks, and Fang might as well just let themselves be eaten by fire ants or something.

That would definitely make them more interesting.

What was that, anyway? The way I saw it, GC wanted to use the already-boiled water to cook the rice, and then boil new water for drinking, I guess, but Randy wanted to use the new, unboiled water for cooking the rice? On the principle that hey, it’s getting boiled anyway? Is that wrong? Do I have it backwards? Or were they both just silly?

To the best of my understanding, Randy was in the right on this one. You’re going to boil the water in which the rice is cooking anyway, just to cook the rice. Why would you use water that’s already boiled and stored for drinking to do that, and then have to boil another pot of water for drinking after?

In case anybody didn’t get the reference, here’s nature, red in tooth & claw.

Phew! I just finished watching the whole thing. I was so worried Fang was going to vote off Dan. Could that guy get any cuter (yet kinda dumb)?

Oh, and those orange boxer shorts over on Kota need to be immortalized in some Survivor hall of fame.

I’d rather immortalize what’s inside them. Ace is quite an ass with quite an ass…

Is it just me, or are 3/4 of the guys this season former soccer players? I haven’t seen legs & glutes like this since, well… since I last watched soccer.