Alrighty. Back at the keyboard. No more PDA pains from typing a big, long post! Once again, let me restate my absolute love for this season. It’s been said in this space that Koror is exhibiting the skills and camp life that Burnett and Co. likely envisioned before Hatch turned the game on its head. For those that have complained in past seasons that Survivor should really be called Machievelli, I give you Season 10! Of course, I am starting to feel guilty watching Ulong dwindle away. In related news, Michael Schiavo has gone to court to try to get Ulong’s feeding tube removed!
And now, the less anticipated, highly derivative RICH RANKINGS! (K or U for Tribe and Last Week’s Rankings in Parentheses).
FORGOT TO FILE A 1040- I guess you couldn’t outwit everyone!
Wanda,Jonathan,Jolanda, Ashlee,Jeff, Kim,Angie,(sniff) Willard, James— Now, the folks in Loser Lodge get to marvel at James’s balls hanging out. Their gain is America’s loss!
Ibrehem- (U/Jerky)- You know? As this season wore on, I realied Ib wasn’t shaved, he was balding. Changed my whole perspective on him.
EATING BEEF JERKY- You’re still playing, but you’re praying for a tribe scramble!
Janu-(K/Jerky)- She can’t even handle a simple challenge. The most disappointing player for me this season. I had high hopes. She is definetly the first Koror to go.
Bobby Jon- (U/Jerky)- This guy talks like he has never watched the show. Maybe that is why his team can’t win. Of course, it occurred to me that a team with three Alabama boys on it is destined not win much unless there is a football involved.
Stephanie- (U/Merge)- Downgraded because she is still talking about making it all the way. I wish we could send in Patrick from the Amazing Race to talk her down. I am glad she didn’t go home, though. I think she, of all the Ulongi, deserves to sit on the jury.
WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT A MERGE?- Middle of the pack players, the lotta ya!
Caryn- (K/Jerky)- Caryn’s first upgrade! Despite seeming bitchy, she showed that she was respected by her tribe in last night’s episode. Her work ethic seems pretty solid. I could see someone taking her along as a shield in the final vote.
Jennifer- (K/Mohawk)- A downgrade. Not only does she have little to no personality, I think she is more worried about her crush than the game. Plus, there are already people discussing her exit. Evn in the abstract, that’s not a good thing.
HEY! LOOK AT HIS MOHAWK-You might make the merge, but you’re grimacing from the jury row!
Katie- (K/Mohawk)- Another upgrade. You are not solidly in any alliance it would seem. But I think that post-merge, that may be a benefit and not a burden this season. Plus, I thought the Birth of Venus comment was clever.
LOOKING FOR A BIG TOM TO ENGLISH DICTIONARY- Big Tom has spent more combined days on the show than anyone. But he didn’t quite grab the brass ring.
Coby- (K/Rat)- I almost downgraded him two spots, because his smug looks couldn’t be winning any friends. Plus, he seems TOO confident about his and Gregg’s coup. But he has a pretty good eye for what really counts in the game. I could see him stabbing Gregg in the back as well.
Gregg- (K/Tom)- I toyed with moving him back up to Rat/Snake. It is clear he has a locked vote in Jennifer, but he isn’t going to hand her a million dollars. It will be fun to see if he has it in him to topple Tom.
ARE YOU A RAT OR A SNAKE?- Reserved for a MAXIMUM of two players. You have to be in the driver’s seat for this spot.
Ian-(K/Tom)- Moves back up by catching a HUGE clam. He just keeps doing things that make him seem like an Ultimate Survivor. Plus, I think Tom is the bigger target of the two once the bloodletting begins.
Tom-(K/Rat)- But Tom DID kill a shark with a machete! That keeps him in the penthouse in this column! If what Coby said is true, and his assessment of the game has been solid, then Tom may have a Boston Rob aura about him. He’s the guy everyone KNOWS that they should rebel against, but for some reason they all feel unworthy of toppling him.
Bold Call time-
Final Four Prediction- Tom, Ian, Katie and Caryn
Winner- Ian over Caryn