Sweet Willy joins the SDMB One-Trick-Pony Chowder and Marching Society

Another transcript of the secret meeting of the SDMB One-Trick-Pony Chowder and Marching Society

SeaSorbust: Y’know guys, I’ve been posting on other topics than flaming asteroid doom and I think I kinda like it. I don’t really feel like I fit in here anymore, but I’ve got a doozy of a replacement for me:

Hiyruu: Does his name cosmically harmonize with Phi?

Sea: Um. Sure?

K-K: Does he like oral sex? 'cause I love giving it!

Sea: <blinks> Ok. Anyway, I’d like you to meet Sweet willy

Sweet Willy: Jews suck.

K-K: <leers> So do I honey!

Sweet Willy: I’m not an anti-Semite, but Jews just…well…they suck!

FatherJohn: Father John wonders if Jews Drive SUVs? He thinks they do! If they do, Father John agrees they suck!

Sweet Willy: m-w.com defines sucking as
Main Entry: 1 suck
Pronunciation: 's&k
Function: verb
Etymology: Middle English suken, from Old English sucan; akin to Old High German sugan to suck, Latin sugere
Date: before 12th century
transitive senses
1 a : to draw (as liquid) into the mouth through a suction force produced by movements of the lips and tongue <sucked milk from his mother’s breast>

Hiyruu: Does their suction come from Phi? Or Phi-Love/Happiness?

Sweet Willy: Love? No!! I hate Jews. They’re evil. They’re the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked a suck!

K-k, Hiyruu, FatherJohn and Sea Sorbust all back away a bit. Hiyruu wipes some flecks of spittle and foam off his shirt.

Sweet Willy: I want to become a Jew so I can show them how stupid and sucky they are! How do you become a Jew!

Suddenly the door bursts open and a late arrival rushes in!

Jack Dean Tyler: We’re talking about circumscision today, right?

Everyone blinks. For once, Jack’s comments are strangely appropriate.

SeaSorbust: Uh-huh. Look I hope you all have a really good time together.

He leaves.

Jack Dean Tyler: Circumcision sucks!

Sweet Willy: Jews circumcise people!

Both together: Jews suck!

K-K: <plaintivly> So do I, Dammit!

Fade out.

Thanks, and good night.

Roving Reporter Fenris (who notes, dear reader, I have to comment that the only way to circumcise Sweet Willy would be with a trepaning saw)


(Woops, sorry. Wrong thread)


Gotta love the subtlety :smiley:

Marvelous work. Any more nominations?

Maybe Sweet Willy will move to Israel, thus increasing the mean I.Q. in the good old U.S.A.

One can only hope.

Og smash Sweet Willy…:stuck_out_tongue:

Good grief, but that’s a terrible thing to wish upon Israel!


Lolo: Jews; I’m not impressed.


Very clever. Pleeeease tell me Seethruart appears in act II.

I have decided that I want to be a member of the SDMBOTPCMS. Not one of the practicing members, but one of the non-practicing members who don’t pay their dues and don’t get involved in any of the stupid rituals. I like the free donuts, K-K will give me a blowjob, and I will get free citizenship in the Mighty Chick-Track Marching Society.

I know that there are other Board Members like me who feel inferior because we are not allowed to join this club. However, I don’t think it’s fair that I be excluded simply because I don’t obsess over some damn-fool idea, or because my mother wasn’t a member.

I demand that I be granted membership. If I’m not, I’ll have to conclude that the people in the SDMBOTPCMS are racist bastards who don’t freely accept all mindless assholes who show up at the door with a tin-foil hat and an axe to grind.

Bite me.

OG!! OG!! OG!!

Act III! This was Act II

And, Seethruart was one of the star players in Act I. As a matter of fact, I believe he was the cause of the formation of the society.


:flickering light held up high::

bravo, bravo, author author!!

(looks around, sees Fenris standing right there)

Oh, Hi. Didn’t see you standing there - want your lighter back?

(and if NutraSweet gets his wish and becomes Jewish, does that mean he’s on your team? :smiley: )

I just want the chowder*. How much for a junior membership?

*New England or manhattan?

Fenris, it is all your fault. I am sitting at the computer lab in my University, adn rumours will soon be spreading far and wide about that loon who laughs hysterically at her computer. The guy beside me got up and left. :smiley:

Hey, I obsess about my age, my health, and my fear of dying. Why can’t I join? Would I get to see K-K again? I miss her.

I too wish to join the SDMBOTPCMS.

In lieu of a formal application, please review the following rant, in which I renew my declamation on the subject on which I have been harping incessantly since I registered.

Would the poster (and literary tease) known as Fenris please finally finish the whole “Secret Origins of the Mods” thing he stared in ATMB?

Thank you for your consideration.

You blaspheme the title of One Trick Pony[sup]TM[/sup]