Some people choose virginity, others have it thrust upon them.
Maybe “thrust” isn’t the best word, but I think one reason that people go out of their way to brag that they’ve been saving themselves for their wedding night is so that people don’t assume they’re in the second category.
If I get laid tomorrow, (yeah, right), I will be about a year and a half shy of my 35th birthday. And things are not looking up in that department. So, I may well be considering my own virginity when I’m 45 out of a lack of interest from others. Be careful in your assumptions.
Kalhoun - Depends. Yes, I’m female. My comment still stands. :eek:
Amateur. My dick so big, when I come I bring Pi.
Here are some quotes from abstinence sites that I take issue with. Once again, I believe everybody should make responsible choices that they are comfortable with. Sex is a personal thing that means something different to each of us. But I personally see sex as a beatiful and fulfilling part of the human experience. deeply bothers me to see people spreading lies about sexuality- especially considering how few people ever learn to fully enjoy their sexuality. The statistics on how many women have never had an orgasm are staggering. I think it’s sad, and I find it sad to see people buying in to the kind of lies that keep people from being comfortable and happy with their sexuality.
Steps Towards Premarital Abstinence
[ul]“Suppose you are sexually active, and do find the love of your life, and they are your soulmate, but they are not the best sex you’ve ever had. If you had nothing to compare them to, they would be the best sex you’ve ever had because they would be the ONLY sex you’ve ever had.”[/ul]
Romance with Wolves
[ul]“I’ve found that girls often don’t fully understand what’s going on when it comes to sex.”
"Reason #3 (not to have sex): That’s somebody else’s wife…I now see girls from a different perspective. They’re someone else’s future wife, someone else’s daughter, sister, etc. "
“The problem is this: the more I bond with other girls, the less I’ll be able to bond with my future wife. It’s like a piece of skotch tape – the more you use it on different surfaces, the less it sticks to things. After awhile, it won’t stick to anything.” [/ul]
Sexual Purity
[ul]“Not that this will surprise anyone, but creepy guys hit on virgins because the payoff is greater. What Christian husband would deny that on his wedding night, he was psyched to be the first guy to have sex with his wife? I know I was.”
"Though men may still check out sexually active women, deep down we all desire to marry someone who has NOT been sexually active, and our interest is piqued when we meet such a person. "
“Just as a lion would be tempted to attack someone wearing sausages, it’s the same to guys when girls wear things designed to arouse certain instincts and attentions in males”
“Do NOT go alone to the house or room of anyone of the opposite sex…Date rape, seduction, and mere rumor leave countless victims with tattered reputations every day.”
“Just as you do not want other people to defile your future husband or wife, do the same to others, do not steal someone else’s future husband or wife by defiling your girlfriend or boyfriend”
“Guys: Keep an image of your future bride dressed in white and walking down the aisle of the church. To look at her and know that she is unstained by you or others is the greatest feeling in the world”[/ul]
A lot of these quotes are pretty extreme- but there are a heck of a lot of people like this out in our world who are trying to get this into our schools. Are you familier with the concept of “promise rings”? In this spreading trend, a father gives his daughter (guys seem to be excempt) a ring as a symbol of her sexual purity. She wears it until it is replaces with a wedding ring, because now her sexuality belongs to her husband. Teenagers are wearing symbolic hymen on their fingers!! Men are being taught to get their thrills at the thought of devirginizing their wife!! Women are being painted as unable to make decisions about sex- only useful as prey or wife!! This is not healthy.
I think people should be encouraged to make healthy responsible decisions that are right for them- and if that decision is virginity, more power to them. But I do not welcome the return of barbaric customs that tie a woman’s worth to her virginity and who she “belongs” to.
And it’s more healthy to treat virginity as something so shameful, so ahorrent, so “unnatural” that those who are virgins past the age of 16 are treated like freaks and social outcasts? While this “sexual purity” trend may seem over the top, in many cases it’s merely a backlash. An attempt to counteract the incredible pressure among people to lose their virginity as soon as possible.
And as for the “promise ring” idea, and the father giving his daughter one of these rings—it may seem weird, (I think it’s a bit weird) but I can damn frickin-guarantee that these parents whose kids have promise rings (and are sincere in their “promise”) are probably breathing a sigh of relief. Especially the parents of daughters. For them, there will probably be no unexpected grandchildren to worry about. No “I know I said I would give the baby up for adoption but I changed my mind! I want to keep it! You have to help me support my kid!” from their 16 year old. My gosh, every parent dreads hearing those words.
There are no simple solutions to this. Each side, I think, is going to extremes. The “virginity is unnatural” crowd is contributing to this sort of “purity” backlash. And like I said before, I have seen the over-the-top “unnatural” mantra being preached on this very thread. IMO, such attitudes are contributing to the problem.
Barbaric? The “Promise Ring” is, at worst, incredibly hokey. Female genital mutilation is barbaric. Chastity belts are barbaric. Are you suggesting that hokey shit most people roll their eyes at will lead to medieval horrors such as these in America? I’m asking sincerely, I’d like to know if you really think this. My opinion is that the sentiments expressed by your cites are held by a small number of people who have no power to impose their ways of life on you or anyone else who doesn’t share their views. They can shriek all they want that “all men want to be the first to have sex with their wives” but that doesn’t make it true.
Oops. My bad…it’s “purity ring”, not “promise ring”. And yes, I think it’s barbaric to expect women to publically display a symbol meaning “My sexuality is under the purview of my father, until he passes it down to another man”. Why don’t we just hang out the bloody sheets?
I have no beef with virgins are virginity. I think is as personal a choice as to whether to drink alcohol, or to be vegetarian, or whatever. Why would I care if people have sex or not? I do have a beef with a culture where virginity is considered a woman’s greatest asset.
Well, it’s a good thing you don’t live in one of those cultures then.
I may be one of the few who hear the bit on NPR. What irritated me about it is was it was one part of a several part topic on the Roe v. Wade anniversery. I found it to be holier than though, and living in a pipe dream. My take on it was that they believed this was the answer to the abortion issue.
on an only slightly related note…I met one such delusional person IRL. One quote that stuck with me was “The pill, condoms, and other pre-abortive means” This nutjob actually thought that condoms were a form of abortion. It takes all types I guess. NOTE: I do not know if this is the stance of the NPR interviewee, this isn’t meant as a tu coque ad hominum.
Marrying someone before you have sex with them is like buying a car without test driving it first.
Not to mention the fact that it’s natural to want to hump anything and everything shortly after getting laid for the first time.
Hmmm…I didn’t have a erm…Hosepipe in my Flower Garden until I was 29 (December 13, 2001, in the back of a Range Rover, mark it on your calanders folks! when I rule the world it’ll be a holiday!)
Yes I was 29…I must be really, really, really unnatural according to y’all…:rolleyes: And it didn’t happen that way because I was holier than thou or anything, it happened that way because I had a childhood full of psycological abuse that left me alienated and unable to form relationships with other people and if it wasn’t for the internet online ads and luck I probably would never have got to have sex in my whole life, so for all the people who would say I was not as good as them for that reason-FUCK YOU! no wait…Fuck me! no fuck them!!! er…forget it 
Everybody pay heed to Yosamitebabe, she is totally right! Couldn’t have put it better myself…
Thanks for participating, Clint. Hope that Neanderthal Training Course works out for you. Study hard! (So to speak.)
Silly! That’s why God made cousins!
And I’d just like to point out that my name among the Cherokee is Penis Like Great Sequoia.
So let’s total it up.
So far we’ve compared virgins to:
animals that need to be trained
cars
and sex is equivalent to:
picking one’s nose
pooping
Thank CHRIST my husband is the only one getting near my hoo ha.
I hope that’s a money back guarantee. Because soon I’ll be asking for my money back. That post is terribly naive.
As to the virgin lovers acting in reaction to promiscuity, I’d bet that most people bashing virginity are also mostly reacting to what they see as an extreme.
Look – can we all pretty much agree that what someone chooses to do (or not do) with his or her own plumbing is none of your business? Is there anyone on this thread that doesn’t believe that?
I dunno- my penis is so massive, it’s pretty much everybody’s business.
Let’s not oversimplify or anything.
I don’t think anyone actually said either of those things. One has to do a bit of twisting to take those as insults, and some people clearly want to be insulted.
The first comment merely states that first time sex is not experienced sex, therefore not good sex. Some people gasp actually want good sex. The pervs.
The second merely states that it is a good thing to find out if one is sexually compatible with one’s mate before signing up for a lifetime with him or her. Despite your insistance that this objectifies that person, it’s really beneficial to both parties.
Sure. But in my opinion, sexual compatibility also has a lot to do with your love for that person and your relationship with them. I didn’t have sex with my husband until our wedding night, and I’m not going to leave him if he doesn’t ‘handle well’.
J
Yeah. Imagine taking offense at an innocent comment like “Take your virginity and shove it up your ass.”
I agree with jarbaby on this. Come on, folks, humans are humans. There’s no need for unflattering comparisons simply because someone’s level of sexual experience differs from one’s own. Yikes. Virginity is neither good nor bad, it simply is. It’s merely a state of being predicated on technical terms, with an unfortunately large helping of socioreligious baggage attached.
I personally don’t see what the big deal is. It’s starting to scare me. Whether or not someone has done the nasty is no one’s business but their own. What possible interest anyone else could have in this information is beyond me. Making value judgements on other people is all well and good, if that’s your socioreligous perogative, but wouldn’t you rather base that judgement on something a little more substantial than whether or not an individual has had intercourse? Jeez. One time I ate a falafel: what does this say about me as a human being? Does your god or society condemn/exalt non-committed falafel-eating? Would any falafels I may eat in future prefer that I had not eaten any previous falafels, or would they prefer me to be more experienced in the ways of falafel consumption?
Yes, this whole discussion is on about that level of ridiculousness to me.
And if it’s not virginity per se that’s got people’s panties in a bunch, but rather the uninformed value judgements made by others which are based on more-or-less ridiculous concepts, well, I agree with you whole-heartedly but I’d advise you not to waste your breath until the revoltuion comes. Humans seem to have some innate need to feel superior to their fellow humans, which often leads them to create bizarre and seemingly abitrary criteria for that superiority. I don’t see this changing anytime soon.
Lastly, on the “sex and pooping are natural functions” debate: Yes. Yes they are. I personally don’t see anything wrong with making this comparison, but I can see why some people would. To me, there’s no shame in saying something is completely natural and therefore not really a very good topic for moral debate. But pooping and sex are different insofar as sex is more socially important to humans, and we attach a lot more signifance to it than we do to pooping. Also, other people tend to be involved in sex, whereas pooping is thankfully still a private affair. I still hold by that line of George Carlin’s though- “The only difference between a lilly and a turd is whatever difference humans have agreed upon, and I don’t always agree.”