Take Your Virginity and Shove It Up Your Ass!

The BBQ Pit
141

Nothing like a virginity thread to reveal people’s hangups about sex. I guess I’m lucky, I don’t feel guilty about anything I’ve done sexually in my life. That’s why statements like the one that set off the OP don’t get to me. Apparently some people’s consciences are bothering them about their dark sexual secrets. There’s a lot of deep-seated anger and shame in this thread. I guess virgins are a convenient target.

And it was only a matter of time before somebody brought out the old “Women who have sex are considered sluts” argument. I wonder how long we’ll have to hear this bullshit assertion? Maybe it will die out within a couple of generations.

Guinastasia, don’t go out and screw the first guy you see just to please a bunch of people with small minds and supposedly big penises (not that you were actually going to do that). The thing is, virginity may be overrated, but so is not being a virgin. And I’m not going to use this opportunity to hit on you even though I could completely rock your world…

:smiley:

142

Nope, not the case.

Lots of people don’t want to get married, either as a temporary thing or as a permanent thing. It doesn’t make them any less capable of love or mean that ‘he doesn’t love you’ if he doesn’t want to get married.

I loved my ex-boyfriend. I still do; however, we were both opposed to getting married because we wanted different things out of life. He wants kids; I do not. We had a good relationship, and when we had both moved significantly in opposite directions re: kids, we broke up.

I still don’t want to get married, at least not for a long time, but it doesn’t mean that the next boyfriend doesn’t love me.

143

Oh yes. I guess it’s all in where you put it that defines purity and innocence.

catsix, I think it just hurt because it hurt, but for some people it doesn’t.

144

Seems to me like the issue here (besides penis size) is education. NaSultainne said awhile back that he/she prays that his/her teenage children abstain from sex until marriage. All well and good (and completely understandable), but I hope that he/she is still trying to educate the kids to be as safe as possible, in the event that the prayer isn’t answered.

(My own parents were staunchly opposed to premarital sex (where I was concerned, anyway), and as a result made no attempts to educate me or ensure my safety if I decided to do the deed (basically the only discussion about the issue amounted to “SEX=AIDS, YOU IDIOT” or “YOU SHALL NOT BE A SLUT”). Furthermore, any other relatives who attempted to do so were damn near gunned down, because my parents felt like such attempts (openly discussing the risks, providing some form of birth control/STD protection) would basically amount to a big, fat endorsement of my getting down and dirty, which was just wrong, wrong, wrong.)

On the other end, those parents who consider it “unnatural” to wait may downplay the risks, or even (perhaps unintentionally) make the kid feel pressured into something for which he/she may not be emotionally prepared.

(Sometimes this has to do with the gender of the kid in question; believe it or not, the aforementioned parents–well, the fatherly contingent thereof, anyway–were actually concerned that my older brother might be gay because as a teenager/young man, he didn’t have much interest in sex (and all “normal” adolescent boys are supposed to be total horn dogs, right?). Instead he was really into church. So they started buying him tittie magazines, and seeking out girls for him to date. WTF??? But again, I don’t know that any real attempt was made to educate him about the risks associated with sexual activity.)

So I think the key here is NOT what camp you’re in (Wait vs. Don’t Wait), but whether or not you can step back and present a more or less unbiased education about sex to your kids, if you have any. It’s even OK to include "Here’s what I think . . . " in said education, as long as you present it as what it is–an opinion.

There’s my dime’s worth.

145

Disingenuous at best.

I’m a 41 year old male, and I’ve had about 25 partners since I was 15 (and about half of those were Catholic). No STDs, no pregnancies. And being that I plan on never marrying, I’m going to go ahead and keep clucking like a bunny.

And what the hell is so laudable about refusing one of life’s best pleasures?

As to the notion that sex was much more special when you saved it for marriage, how the hell would you know? What do you have to compare it to? Sounds to me like you’re trying to justify your own life choice by passing judgement on others and making rationalizations.

Oh, and my dick is so big that it gets 25 electoral votes. And I often use it to piss on Cuba. And thousands of college girls descend on it annually for Spring Break.

146

Regarding Shoidan’s quip: My dick is so big, whenever I get a hard-on, I can’t blink or wiggle my fingers.

That was just too funny to go unmentioned.
My dick’s so big there’s a bird nest near the top every spring.

147

I just feel the need to add that the entire universe is contained in my penis so the rest of you guys can now shut up about yours.

There is nothing wrong with making a choice, unless that choice is made out of ignorance.

If you chose to not have sex because you think you will get sick or pregnant or will be less ‘pure’ (what ever the hell that means) then your choice is being made out of ignorance. That is my problem with the people refered to in the OP and my problem with you if that is your attitude.

If you chose not to have sex because you haven’t found the right partner thats fine! That actually is a great idea!

But…

I was brought up with the sex=love equations and if I didn’t buy that myth I probably would have had a much happier life. How ever I convinced myself that people who fuck are in true love. That I should only fuck those that I love. Well I would have had much more sex (which is fun) and probably not be divorced (which was not much fun) as I would not have married her as really we only wanted to fuck each other for a while.

148

:smack:

the last post reminded me, I wanted to find out if the men here really have any preference one way or the other about their potential spouses being pure and innocent. That’s how it goes, Moms and Dads are convinced no one will marry their daughters if they sleep around, and but that something is wrong with their sons if they don’t.

149

What I find disturbing is that some posters equate virginity with purity.
Does that automatically make those of us who were not virgins when we got married soiled or defiled?

Also, I seem to remember reading that female virginity became a premium among the working class only after syphilis was became an issue.
Up to that point, your average peasant farmer wanted to ensure that his mate was fertile and there was no stigma attached to a big-bellied bride.

150

Because, of course, the only thing keeping a married/monogamous couple together is sexual compatability. Love, intimacy, friendship, shared experiences and common goals have nothing to do with it.

That’s not what Banquet Bear said. The quote was: “And in today’s society-where music video’s routinely have barely dressed girls being role models for 11 year olds singing about sex, I think that there is nothing wrong with saying ‘I saved all my purity and innocence for my wedding.’”

He’s saying 11-year-old girls have barely dressed girls singing about sex as role models. What you created in your response, Evil Captor, doesn’t even qualify as a strawman argument – maybe more like a strawbaby. Or a strawfetus. It’s really weak.

Finally, according to various surveys, more than half of all American teens are engaging in sexual intercourse before graduating from high school, and 16 percent are sexually active by the time they’re in the seventh or eighth grade (one cite here). Which means that those who remain virgins until marriage are, indeed, special – in the sense that they are different than the majority. Are they necessarily better people? Of course not. But if one places importance upon sexual “purity”, one would obviously be proud that one maintained that self-defined state until entering what they hope to be a lifelong relationship.

In other words, I don’t see the point of this thread.

151

, but I certainly believe it.
[/quote]

No shit Sherlock.

As to keeping your cherry until marriage, well whatever floats your boat but the attitude that it’s somehow better to do this rather than doing what comes naturally before hand leads to kids being afraid to talk about their fears/ignorance of sex and end up getting into trouble.

Sex should never be stigmatised by society. My country has been very guilty of this and we have a very large teenage pregnancy rate. IIRC the UK and USA aren’t great either.

Some kids in their late teens are going to be at it like rabbits no matter what you think or do.

152

I see a lot of folks saying that they don’t have a problem with virginity per se, just the supposed “attitude” exuded by people who happen to value their virginity.

Well, you’re all lying! You hate people who choose not to have sex! I know if you had your way, bands of fornicators would roam the countryside forcibly deflowering virgins. It’s attitudes like yours that lead to the prevalence of rape in our society, not to mention God removing His mantle of protection from America!

Does that seem ridiculous? Well, now you know how some of the people posting to this thread sound. Try this:

Ooh! These virgins are like the Taliban! They’re infringing on our sexual freedoms! By choosing not to have sex, they are denying the rights of children everywhere to grow up in a society free of oppressive sexual mores! Every child who has to endure the presence of virgins is doomed to a life of feeling bad about themselves just because of their natural sexual urges!

There is so little about this thread that is not utterly ridiculous. It’s transparent political posturing like this that’s going to drive us back into the caves. That’s hyperbole, by the way.

153

I should clarify that I mean “now you know how some of the people posting to this thread sound to people who sincerely believe that the choice not to have sex is valid and none of anyone else’s business.”

154

BZZZZZZTTT!!! Wrong! I got HPV from a nice long session of heavy petting.

155

Well both my husband and I waited for marriage. I think that it was the right choice. My husband was a virgin, but that did not make him a bad lover.
You are being just as bad judging them for their beliefs as they were being judging you for yours.
So take your promiscuousness and shove it…

156

Attack of the triple sequential thread titles…

The mods…

Take Your Virginity and Shove It Up Your Ass!

Cold!

The ‘Cold’ part is what bothers me.

Of course, now that I post this, it will change. Bwahahahaha!

Regards,
Shodan

157

I have no problems with virgins- some of my best friends are virgins. It isn’t a really big deal for anyone. But some people arn’t happy just being virgins. They want this country to return to tribal hyman worship. It’s disturbing. Being a girl in hyman-obsessed countries isn’t much fun. What bugs me is the rhetoric they use- and want to teach in our schools. For example…

Your virginity is the greatest wedding gift you can give- Oh…so it’s not my companionship or love or the fact that I’m freaking marrying you. It’s that I’ve never seen a schlong before. Great.

If you screw someone, you are wronging their future spouse- Oh, so now not only do I belong to my husband, but I belong to him in advance?

That stupid analagy about the rose- There are any number of analogies that they will make that imply that sex diminishes you, or that somehow you lose something when you have sex. I’ve had lots of sex, and I’m not missing any of my limbs. Losing your vriginity doesn’t make you into a different person. It’s not some magic irredeamable step. It just means you’ve fucked before. Your still the same old person, except maybe your legs are sore for a few days.

Sex leads to harmful emotional stuff- I’m not denying this one. But then we start getting in to how you shouldn’t give your heart to someone your not married to because you’ll get hurt. Isn’t living and loving and getting hurt life?

There is something special about holding out- Does that mean if I decide never to make eye contact with another man, so that my hubby will have the special honor of being the first one I ever make eye contact with, I’m extra special? Or is it silly to set arbitrary benchmarks and then all self-congradulatory when you meet them and look down on people who don’t?

Virginity is great because you don’t want your spouse thinking of other people- Nobody on earth wants to think too hard about their lover’s past alleigences. But people have pasts. That is what makes them the unique people we know and love. When we take somebody, we take all of them- even the parts we are uncomfortable with. I’d die before I expected my future partner to live a circumscribed life because of my own insecurity. I have no interst in controlling somebody who I don’t even know yet because one day I might have to think that they have and have had a life and world outside of me.

158

I refrained from having sex with my husband until our wedding night because to ME (and YMMV of course) sex IS something that is important and not akin to ‘picking your nose’ or ‘taking a dump’. And I do believe that it was a sort of gift of myself. It was my husband and I becoming one spiritually and physically, and knowing that we would never give that to anyone else in our whole lives.

I don’t care what you do, but it’s so sad to see people equating sex with nothing more than ‘animal instinct’. IMHO of course.

159

So, in order to defend ourselves against the infinitessimal minority of people in this country who think that virginity should be prized above all else, we should root out people who don’t have sex and call them unnatural, fanatical, hymen-obsessed…

I know you’re not saying that, but nobody in this thread is advocating “hymen-worship” either. Exactly what catastrophe are you trying to prevent with your shrill objections to certain people’s odd preference for virginity? That people won’t have enough sex? That we’ll go back to stoning and witch-burning? I don’t think either of those things are remotely realistic, you may disagree. What I do think is realistic is that many kids are pressured into sex before they’re ready.

160

(I have tried to post this twice already, and the hamsters ate it. I think I’ve waited long enough to try again, but if I get a simulpost I will be very vexed…)

I’m 100% with tlw on this one. Great post, BTW.

Also, Robot Arm brings up the stigma against male virgins, especially. Nothing is more socially fatal for a man than for everyone else to find out that he is (gasp! shudder!) a VIRGIN. The derision will never end. This mortifying secret must be hidden at all costs.

Another thing—this is a personal pet peeve of mine, I guess, but it irritates me when people talk about how “natural” sex is, but fail to address the possible financial consequences of making a decision to have sex when you are still (how shall I say it?) immature.

We all know that it’s not uncommon for a teenage couple to get pregnant. And guess who often ends up footing the bill for the kid that she (or he) has decided they must keep? THE PARENTS! Some teenage parents choose adoption, or abortion, but many want to raise the kids themselves.

In such cases, it’s not uncommon for the parents end up footing the bill for a lot of the support of an unexpected grandchild. Did the parents have any say in their kids’ reproductive decisions? Were they consulted beforehand? Very likely, no. They just end up supporting yet another kid, that’s all. My feeling is, if a minor child wants to do the “natural” thing and be sexually active, fine. They’d just better be willing to foot the bill and take the financial responsibilities for their decision on their own, without expecting their parents (or taxpayers) to foot the bill.

There’s a time and place, time and place. Holding off to have sex because there is some awareness of the risks of pregnancy (and let’s face it, all birth control has a failure rate, especially if it’s used improperly) is not a bad thing. Holding off for a variety reasons is not a bad thing. It’s a personal decision, and frankly, no one else’s business. It shouldn’t be treated with derision. It shouldn’t be laughed at, and it often is. And those who do treat it with derision are showing something quite revealing about themselves and their hangups—it seems quite obvious to me.

Also, needless to say, the judgmental, over-the-top “holier than thou, purer than thou” attitude displayed by some virgins is irritating, offensive and inappropriate. But I suspect that in some cases (not that this is excusing the behavior) it’s a backlash. Some people are sick of virginity being treated like some affliction that is to be disposed of as soon as possible. They are sick of virginity being treated like a shameful condition that must be concealed. So, they are going to the other extreme. It’s just as obnoxious; I’m not excusing it. But I think that some of you fail to see, it is simply a (in some cases) a backlash against the attitude that you are displaying right here in this thread.