Welcome aboard!
I’m sure you figured out that a) all of us are completely sane
b) There is no escape! Psst, the answer is pie, and don’t touch the ice cream! Look up this skit on SNL about Almost Pizza; it’s like that but much, MUCH nastier!
The rest is up to you…
Welcome! 
Hey! No giving the questionnaire until we’ve got the instruments and stuff hooked up! Dammit, Sunspace, do we have to put the electrodes back on you?
Ew, neither.
Pepsi
Neither
West
Night
Montreal
Rural
Hoo Hoo Wha Wha!?!??!?!?!?!?
I’m sorry. The One whose likeness is written in the stars commanded me to do it. We must all—
:: shakes head ::
Er, what was I saying again?
So, ketchup or no ketchup on your hot dog?
Welcome to the boards! Though I can’t imagine where on earth you found your username …
Wouldn’t it have been awesome if he had been born in 1973?
Only the inbred and evil use ketchup on their food. Mustard is the one true condiment.
You’ll put your eye out.
I believe the term is “You shoot yer eye out, kid.” 
Correcting posters about minor details. You will fit right in. Brings a little tear to my eye. 
Ooooh another grilling session. May I join?
(I) Paper or Plastic?
(II) King’s Island, or Cedar Point?
(III) Less Filling, or Tastes Great?
Paper
Cedar Point
Tastes Great
You have chosen wisely with regard to the ketchup/hot dog question. Now, let me ask you about the following:
Answer carefully, as this will tell us all we need to know.
Across
Over
Well, as long as we’re going to consider financial matters…
Since we went to polymer banknotes, it’s been pretty much “plastic or plastic” here in Canada, but we can still ask,
Debit or Credit?
Bills or Coins?
Prepaid or Postpaid?
Visa or MasterCard?
French or English?
And don’t forget the all-important question:
Shoes in the house: off or on?
Actually I was referring to grocery store bags (though I suspect you already knew that) but in my hometown it’s sadly “Paper, or paper?” as of the New Year – end of an era, I know. 
Well hi there!