Talk Nerdy To Me

Aw c’mon baby! Sling some lingo at me! Gimme some of that funky jargon that’s peculiar to your kink. You know you like it, and so do I! C’mon…whaddaya say? Oh, you’re shy? OK, I’ll go first:

I’m going to acquire your total unless you let me deduct the estimated salvage value from your ACV. And if that makes you uneasy and my settlement frightens you then you can just file with your own carrier and subrogate me till I disgorge my funds. yeah…sub me! Sub me like I owe it!

Your debit does you credit sir. Allow me to rain down some double-entry on you until all your columns tie in. Let me wash some assets down your pass through. There’s no accounting for taste!
ew, I’m squicking myself out here

You know you will never be happy until you have me as your perpendicular bisector.

ok so im not into geometry but I always liked that.

My area would be more like:

You know you really called because the CPU you had was inadequate. It seemed to barely fill the pipe even when it was giving you everything it had. Your pipeline was yearning to be filled, not just for a little flash here and there, but feeling the rush of power filling her with every fetch, execute and writeback, anticipating the next fetch for seemingly an eternity even though it was only nanseconds.

Your mother would be so ashamed to know you were processing more than one instruction set at once, but you didn’t care, nothing brings you data like I do.

Let me shrinkwrap your assembly and give the drawings to the customer…

Come to my cubicle and we’ll discuss Degenerate Perturbation Theory, maybe get into a little Stimulated Emission.

Let’s go out behind the domain controller and re-acl. Don’t worry if it’s your first time, honey - I won’t lock you out until you fail three times.

Aww, don’t write my name in your little black certificate revocation list! Just unlock me for another attempt!

I’ve got a Level 6 packet with some SQL injection for you!

Dim strSQL

strSQL = “SELECT ‘Hey, Inigo! What up?’ MyMessage, ID FROM MyTable”

Set recordset = connection.Execute(strSQL)
if err.number <> 0 then
iDB_err = -1
strErrDesc = err.description
strTableName = “MyTable”
end if
Set recordset = nothing

Well, all I’ve been doing lately is fixing the atrocious coding on my FIL’s business website. I’ve got some mad HTML and java skills, and the internet is my bitch. And so, I present to you my favourite poem:

Roses are #FF0000
Violets are #0000FF
All my base
Are belong to you
I know there’s a T-shirt out there somewhere with this on it, and I MUST HAVE IT.

Here it is.

This too has “potential”.

My wife found the look on my face incredibly amusing the other day. We were at a restaurant - a buffet - and I damn near dropped my plate.

The most gorgeous girl I have ever seen walked by. I did not stare… much. I did not drool… I think. I did stop still in my tracks for a few moments, however, while my brain rebooted.

Her T-shirt (a pleasantly tight, well-filled one without being too obvious or trashy) said,

“Talk nerdy to me.”

I’m glad my wife is the understanding sort, is all I can say.

(so it’s not exactly on-topic… with that title, my brain just replayed the entire event. :))

–what can I say? I like geeks. :wink:

I have all 5 seasons of Babylon 5 on DVD.

Plus the movies.

I know how to recurse my way into and over ever port in your system. I’m opening my pointers, my cache is set. Baby, I still got my mutex on but just unlock me and our threads will entwine. We’ll hunt down your bottlenecks, optimize their big O, and I’ll have comments on every one of those elegant lines.

Encapsulate me.

My computer storage media collection includes an 8" floppy disc (160K!!), punched paper tape, a cassette tape, and a complete COBOL program on punched cards.

Hmph, doesn’t work for me at all. I can’t stand being treated like an object.


My career’s no fun, so here’s the spouse’s.

First I’m going to ream your head tube, then your seat tube, then your bottom bracket. Then I’m going to tighten your nipples with this wrench, and then loosen your cogs with this chain whip, and lube everything up. Especially the kevlar cables. And your seatpost. Then I’ll put your headset on really tight. And attach a little bell that goes ‘ping.’

You are my hero! But of course! :smack:


**elmwood ** makes me swoon

Would you like to see my complete original D&D 3 book set? They are in perfect condition?
Maybe we could read some COBOL text books after that and then I’ll break out my TI-99/4A 16 kilobyte Computer and we can write a game together in Basic and save it to a cassette.


Jim {wow, channeling my inner geek to the max, do you Grok it?}